SR asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 9 years ago

Step brother and I are getting a little too comfortable...?

He's not exactly my step brother, he's my mom's boyfriends son. I claim him as my step dad, he claims my mom as his step mom. But when it comes to us, he doesn't call me his sister and if I call him my brother he'll say, "No... I have enough of those." And I'll say, "So what are we?" One time over text he said, "Soon to be f*ck buddies. Lol." He just pushes the fact that we're not related and it's not incest if we do things because our parents aren't married, and we're not blood related, and "we'll just act as if it never happened, we won't tell a soul", etc, etc. He has a girlfriend, too. Well, now fiancée. I'm not going to go past those boundaries, it's not right. He picks me up, tries to kiss me, touch me, and the other day he tried to get me to let him show or touch my boobs. I said, "No" to all of those things. It's like he's determined to have sex with me. Honestly, I do find him attractive, so I'm trying not to give in because he's like my brother and he's engaged. So it would be absolutely horrible of me. What should I do? I hate feeling persuaded into something that's not right, even though I really want to. We're all 18, he'll be 19 in June or July.

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    he isn't your brother so you could have sex with him if you want.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Hey, honey. Honestly, it's a tough situation. However, it would be best if you resisted the temptation of being with him, for the reason that he's engaged, and where would it go? Well, let me backtrack-- are you interested in some sort of relationship with him, or sex? If you think one time will get it out of your system and it is what you want, then maybe, but if you wish for more? Don't bother. It gets iffy because of his fiance. You really want a guy who'd cheat? It's complicated all around, girl. I try not to judge.

    Source(s): Message me if you need to chat more.
  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    You are consenting adults, and while some people might consider this incest, it isn't. This is actually not uncommon. However, if his fiancee expects him to be monogamous you should definitely not do anything with him. He's a little young to get married, but that is his choice to make.

    As with any situation...

    NEVER allow someone to pressure you into anything you don't want to do.

    But... if you are both free to be with each other, and you want to be with each other and are right for each other, don't let anyone stop you. People should mind their own live lives.

    Source(s):

  • Antst
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    Well, even though you theoretically have a sibling relationship because of your parents, it is normal to feel attracted to people we spend a lot of time with. That's biology. Even family members who ARE biologically related sometimes struggle with these kinds of feelings.

    But sometimes we have to ignore our attractions and use our self control. This is my advice for you.

    Now, there is a possibility that you could have sex with him and everything would be just fine. But it is unlikely! It sounds like you already know that it would be an incredibly bad idea. It could make your life, his life, his fiancee's life, and your family members' lives very messy.

    Here are some things to consider:

    1. First of all, he has a fiancee. You probably don't need me to tell you how messy things could get, how bad you would probably feel about yourself, and how hurt the fiancee would be if it were discovered that you had had sex with him.

    2. Second, although he may have some good qualities, let's be frank. A guy who would cheat on his fiancee with someone who is essentially his stepsister is not a guy with a good character. Trust me, there are plenty of great men out there. You do not want to put yourself through the drama and pain of getting involved in any way with men who are jerks. Be very careful around this guy.

    3. I have seen many friends-with-benefits type relationships in action. I have never known of a single one that is/was simple. There is usually some kind of drama or hurt feelings on one side. Now, if this guy were just a friend, maybe it would still be worth it to get into that kind of relationship. But he isn't just a friend. He is someone you may have to deal with for many years. Imagine how awkward things could get for EVERYONE in the family if you guys ended up on bad terms. For the same of everyone's happiness in the family, I don't think you should get into anything with this guy.

    4. Like I said, it sounds like you already know that this would be a bad idea. Pretty much everyone develops strong attractions for the wrong people. That's normal and you shouldn't feel guilty if you are attracted to this guy. But what you should do, in my opinion, is have self control.

    If he ever breaks up with the fiancee, if you ever feel that he is mature enough to have a relationship with you that would NOT end badly and hurt the family, THEN maybe reconsider. But for now, I would start drawing some strong boundaries. Tell him you're not interested in anything and that he needs to stop touching you. Leave the room when he does try to touch you. Don't say or do anything to give him the idea that you want any kind of sexual relationship. Good luck.

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  • 9 years ago

    DO NOT PUT YOUR SELF IN A SITUATION IN WHICH IT WOULD BE WEIRD FOR U TO CROSS PATHS WITH YOUR BROTHERS FIANCEE NOR YOUR PARENTS OR SOON TO BE PARENT.

    find u someone and stick with them. because if u end up crossing that line u will be the one that gets hurt the most.

    try and stay away from your step bro. and continue on saying no, no matter how much u wont him

    and stay safe.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    You have really answered your own question. According to you, you have already set some boundaries for yourself regarding getting involved with someone who is already engaged, you say 'it's not right' etc. If you truly have sound principles of your own established, there should be no question in your mind and you shouldn't be able to be 'talked into' anything you don't want to do.

    Frankly, it all sounds a bit juvenile to me. You either stand on your principles and do the 'right thing' or give in to an obvious infatuation. That's all it really is and the odds are, if you do give in, things won't last long OR have a good outcome.

  • 9 years ago

    Ok, first if he's engaged then I wouldn't second Im 16 and im a guy. I've kinda been in this situation. My mom had a boyfriend but they never married. And he had this hot girl and we had sex once or twice. As long as they arn't married its ok I guess, i only did it cause this girl was extremely hot. But if you dont want to talk to someone. If you dont and he rapes you you will be hurt mentally and physically for the rest of your life. Talk to your best friend. And if he wants to have sex with you but is also dating someone im guessing he's a player so i wouldn't try it unless you want some disease.

    Source(s): Good guy, pretty good with girls.
  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    I think you should just talk to him about it

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    What you need to do is **** your "brother"!!!!... then go on living and have a normal healthy relationship

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    If he's hot I would f*** him! You guys aren't brothers anyways

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