My 3 and a half years old daughter doesn't listen to me!?

She's almost four.She doesn't listen to anyone.She bites,kicks,pulls hair,scratch,yells,destroys things,throwing my phone on the floor,hides my keys...She pushes her little sister and pinches her.

When we are at the playground and i tell her that we have to go home she ignores me.I tell her that we will leave the park in 5 minutes.After the 5 minutes she won't come,when i try to pick her up she bites and kicks and starts crying.She once gave me a black eye because she hit me with her shoe.I have bite marks on my arms.

I take her with me when i go shopping because that's the only activity where she behaves.She stays in the cart and talks,laugh,we say jokes,she wants kisses but the moment we got home she starts acting that way again.

I don't want to raise a brat and i DO discipline her but she thinks that everything is a game.

I've tried the naughty spot but she laughs and runs,i put her back,she runs again and this can go on for hours.I've tried the sticker thing but she doesn't care about the stickers.I've tried explaining to her nicely but she laughs and doesn't listen.Everything i try to do she just laughs and it seems that it's entertaining for her.I've tried ignoring but it gets worse.

She's been like this her entire life.She doesn't have medical problems.Everybody thinks that it's my fault because i don't discipline her but nothing works with her.I've told her that i'm not joking and her behaviour is bad and she has to listen but she just giggles.She's like this with everyone not just with me.I don't know what to do anymore.

8 Answers

  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    She doesn't seem to take you (the parent) seriously or has any respect so she is acting out. It is going to be hard to get her to respect you but it is possible. First make a list of rules and have them displayed in your house (where she can't reach them but high enough she can see them). When she breaks a rule be firm with her (no smiling or laughing from you either b/c she will think you are joking) no lashing out either. Sometimes the way talking to a child can make them angry. If she hears a lot of "Don't do this, don't do that. Stop this stop that!" they tend to become angrier. Positive reinforcement where it is needed is key. Kids need things to do to keep them occupied. Make her a small list of chores (keep a chart to where she can see) and when she does them make sure she is appreciated and tell her how proud you are of her. Giving her chores will teach her responsibility. At this moment she doesn't see you as a parent but probably someone who is trying to be her "friend" instead. It is going to take A LOT OF PATIENCE and practice but you can do it and turn her attitude around. Also be a good role model. If she sees you yelling or destroying things (not saying you do) she may pick up on that. Make time to do things with your child that doesn't involve shopping (making cookies together, playing out in the yard/park, going for a walk). She needs to learn to behave in other situations besides shopping. Do not use food as a way to get her to act in good manners b/c she will expect this everytime she behaves and if you cannot provide she will throw a tantrum. Have her interact with other kids as well.

    Maybe take a look at some super nanny episodes! She always shows great examples on how to tame kids who are misbehaving and gives ways to set the child straight. Hope this helps! You can do it!

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Try rewarding her good behavior. Like with ice cream or a trip to the park.

    You should still also keep trying to discipline her though. Don't give up :)

    Also maybe send her to a day care? She will interact with other kids and trained professionals who can try and also help discipline her. The first few weeks at day care will be rough for her, but eventually she'll learn what is proper behavior and what isn't. She will see other kids being rewarded for being good so she will also want to be good. The day care workers might also be able to give you more advice. I used to help out at a local day care, I saw the bad kids slowly but surely turn good.

    Good luck! It's a rough age

  • 9 years ago

    has she always been like this, before your youngest was born? because if she only started behaving this way after the youngest was born, i think she may be fighting for your attention. as you said " I take her with me when i go shopping because that's the only activity where she behaves.She stays in the cart and talks,laugh,we say jokes,she wants kisses".. when she gets one on one time with you shes happy and when you bring her home she may feel, she has to fight for your attention again, you may feel you distribute your attention equally among both children, its very important you nip unwanted behaviour in the bud...before it gets worse! maybe try organising a day out with her, you might go to the park etc, doing her favourite activities, the aim is to have more one on one time with her!! but its also important to do family activities it might just be painting or drawing at home, just to show her there's nothing to be jealous of and she doesn't have to fight for attention.

    i hope i helped good luck,


  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Well believe it or not, she rebels because she feels totally comfortable with you. If she was afraid, she wouldn't act out.

    Here's the thing - everything in the world that she loves is controlled by you. If you take away, one by one, everything that she enjoys, she will eventually get it. She will throw a fit, but she's doing that already.

    When she gets upset you just tell her that you want to do nice things for her but you can't when she doesn't behave. When you take away enough toys, movies, food treats, trips out, etc., she just might get it.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Corporal Punishment.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    All I can say is...if you think she's a handful now, just wait until she's 13 and a half.

  • 9 years ago

    U betta get that belt!!

  • JC
    Lv 6
    9 years ago

    make her listen. she is YOUR child!

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.