Citron asked in 社會與文化語言 · 8 years ago

中翻英 – 請問如何用英文來表示商展的「有效觀展者」?

這是我所欲翻譯的中文句子:

A公司參與了紐約X展和倫敦Y展等國外商展的展出以推廣其產品,共有50家以上有效的品牌業者到訪。

我想,這裡的「有效...業者」應該是在表示effective visitor的意思。但該如何將effective visitor和「品牌業者」(brand distributor)做結合,卻考倒了我。以下是我的幾個翻譯版本,不知哪個版本較合適?或者說,統統都不好。

(1) When Company A exhibited and promoted products at various international trade fairs, such as XExpo New York and YExpo London, it attracted over 50 effective brand-distributor visitors.

(2) When Company A exhibited and promoted products at various international trade fairs, such as XExpo New York and YExpo London, it attracted over 50 effective visitors who were all representatives of brand distributors.

(3.1) When Company A exhibited and promoted products at various international trade fairs, such as XExpo New York and YExpo London,it attracted over 50 effective visitors sent by brand distributors.

(3.2) When Company A exhibited and promoted products at various international trade fairs, such as XExpo New York and YExpo London, it attracted over 50 effective visitors from brand distributors.

(4) When Company A exhibited and promoted products at various international trade fairs, such as XExpo New York and YExpo London, over 50 brand distributors visited its booths – all made effective business inquiries.

(5) 都不好,建議…

其實我目前最喜歡的是(1),因為較簡潔,但我又不太確定effective brand-distributor visitors這樣的用法是否恰當(亦即將brand-distributor當第二個形容詞來形容visitors)。我在google上並未搜尋到類似的用法。而且就算讓我搜尋到了,也不表示這個用法一定是正確的。還是得上來請教英文版的前輩們比較保險。

又,其實以上寫法中,唯一不會將「品牌業者的數目」和「品牌業者派來觀展的人數」混淆(因為一家品牌業者有可能派兩個以上的代表去觀展)的就只有(4),但又嫌稍微冗長。不知有沒有更簡潔的寫法?

再次謝謝各位前輩的幫忙!

Update:

慧施:

非常感謝您的指導!尤其是when, such as很少用的事,以及用including來代替such as的示範,是我這次發問的額外(好像也變得更重要)收獲。雖然有點痛(因為用錯了嘛),但覺得受益良多。我會把它記起來。

另外,原來我在網路上查到的effective visitor用法是不恰當的哦!那中文的「有效品牌業者」應該也是有語病囉?!看來google search真的不能解決問題。

總之,非常感謝您!

Update 2:

這是我目前修改後的版本:

Company A has attended various international trade shows, including XExpo New York and YExpo London, for product promotion. As a result, over 50 brands visiting its booths have shown interest and made inquiries.

Update 3:

我多加了visiting its booths來表示係在展期內到場參觀,現場詢問,而不只是因為瀏覽了主辦單位在網站上顯示的產品或看到隔壁公司觀展後帶回來的catalog而對產品產生興趣,進而做出探詢的動作。

Update 4:

rjamesho大大:

非常謝謝您在「品牌業者」解讀上的指導!我把您的版本稍微修改後,變成這樣:

Company A has exhibited at several international trade shows, including NY X Expo and London Y Expo, to promote its products. It was visited by more than 50 potential brand distributors.

Update 5:

這是我修改的地方和原因:

1. 我用exhibit at來代替take part in,因為後來我想想,還是用比較確定的字眼來強調A公司是以參展商(而不是觀展來賓)的身份去參與這些國際商展的。

2. 又,我用It was visited by…來取代They were visited by…應該沒問題吧?我是想說統一用it來表示公司。還是說應該用they來表示前往展場的好幾位公司員工呢?

Update 6:

另外,我還想順便問一個問題:

3. 我注意到了您和慧詩大大在翻譯「紐約X展」和「倫敦Y展」時,都把地名放在展覽名稱的前面。我本來以為是放在後面的,亦即展覽名稱+展出地名+展出年份,例如SpinExpo New York 2012和Expofil Paris 2012。當然,也有放在前面的啦,例如Taipei World Design Expo 2011就把展出地名放在前面。還是說,兩種方式都可以呢?

不好意思,這個問題本來應該另外開一個問題來發問的,但我為了方便,就順便問了。

Update 7:

rjamesho:

非常感謝您再次的說明和confirm。這樣我明白了。

5 Answers

Rating
  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    很欣賞您的學習態度。

    我會這麼翻:

    A公司參與了紐約X展和倫敦Y展等國外商展的展出以推廣其產品,共有50家以上有效的品牌業者到訪Company A has taken part in several international trade shows, including NY X Expo and London Y Expo, to promote its products. They were visited by more than 50 potential brand distributors.

    很多行銷術語恐怕有不同的中文翻譯。我對“有效的品牌業者”的解讀是“potential brand distributors”;給您參考。

    2012-05-27 11:21:37 補充:

    我同意您改成has exhibited,應該沒有問題。然而It was visited卻不合適。原因是,此句的主詞是"參展"(exhibits),而不是公司。既然是多次的展出,就應該用They. 說到trade show的名稱,若是沒有特別引用trade show 或是Expo 的official name;[如果用的是一般稱呼,generic name]一般似乎都是把地名放在前面;尤其您的句首已經提示several international trade shows.

  • 8 years ago

    DaSaGwa大大:

    我跟您一樣,也不太了解為何有人會寫出「有效品牌業者」這個詞。同時,我在google查詢的結果,竟然也有effective visitor這個用法(不過那比較是用於描述造訪或瀏覽某網站的人數)。於是我就誤以為effective + 人或組織可以用了。現在既然您和回答欄的大大都說這樣用很奇怪,我就不用effective這個字了。

    2012-05-27 01:25:55 補充:

    我已經將您「用visit 這個動詞來代替visitor這個名詞」以避免「在"visitors" 和 "distributor"之間掙扎」的的概念運用在我修正後寫在問題補充上的英文句子了(visiting its booths)。

    2012-05-27 01:26:11 補充:

    Company A has attended various international trade shows, including XExpo New York and YExpo London, for product promotion. As a result, over 50 brands visiting its booths have shown interest and made inquiries.

    非常感謝您的幫忙!

  • DaSaGwa大大:

    謝謝您在意見001, 002提出了用動詞visit來代替visitor的想法,以及不要遊走於"visitors" 和 "distributor"之間的建議。這樣除了可以避掉brand-distributor visitors是否為合適用法的疑慮,也可以解決我目前「品牌業者的數目」和「品牌業者派來觀展的人數」混淆的問題。

    其實,我也曾想過要這樣寫:

    2012-05-26 22:41:01 補充:

    (1)When Company A exhibited and promoted products at various international trade fairs, such as XExpo New York and YExpo London, it attracted over 50 effective brand distributors to visit its booths.

    但問題是,我並不確定effective + brand distributor的用法是否恰當。我只是在網路上看過effective + visitor的用法,所以才會執著於visitor這個字。

    2012-05-26 22:41:08 補充:

    真的可以有effective + brand distributor的說法嗎?

  • 8 years ago

    (When, such as, 國外很少人用. 另外effective brand distributor 沒有這樣的用法因為effective 不會用來形容人或組織 而是用來形容無生物如樣本或管理等 brand distributor 不存在 只有distributor brand)

    Company A attended various trade shows, including NY expo and LDN expo for product promotion. As a result, over 50 distributor brands have shown interest and made inquiries.

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  • 8 years ago

    How about:

    50 effective brand-distributor who came to visit.

    or

    50 effective brand-distributor who had stopped by.

    2012-05-26 21:46:23 補充:

    don't need to juggle between "visitots" and "distibutor". After all, distributor is visitor. By juggling these two words, you might have "visitors are ALL distributors."

    2012-05-27 01:06:16 補充:

    I have NO idea whether "effective brand-distributor" is correct or not. After all, I don't even know what is "有效的品牌業者". My point was just to let you not juggle with "distributor" and "visitor".

    2012-05-27 01:09:37 補充:

    I don't understand why, whoever wrote the Chinese, uses "有效的品牌業者", it is a very weird term.

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