homosexual or not homosexual?

I'm 21. I've never been attracted to men. Ever. I don't have a phobia against them, I actually like gay men, the one's I've met, two have been my bosses for instance, I've found to be very funny, outgoing people with a lot of drive, I can hug 'em and not feel weird, I'm not disgusted by any of their acts of sex towards their partners, same with lesbians. I've never had a problem with gays at all.

I don't feel I am scared of being gay, I feel I would be the type of person who as soon as he realized he was attracted to men, he'd come right out of the closet, especially in today's era where it's so socially accepted. As a writer, I'd actually find the upcoming stories of for instance how my interaction with women would change very interesting if I did turn out to be gay. However, my parents and the country I grew up in as a child, so like a few years back, I do always remember hearing a lot of **** about homosexuals, so it's not to say I wouldn't require courage to, after 21 years of age, come out and tell me parents I'm gay.

I myself am pretty outgoing, I naturally am very cheerful and'll hug everyone in a welcoming manner, I've always felt comfortable with my sexuality so I've never feared hugging guys or anything like that and I have never doubted my sexuality until recently that I've been going through a bit of a paranoia crisis.

I was in India recently, I was working on a film. And I became really close to a little group of friends. Anyway, one guy from that lil' group was this like mystic guy, right? In my gatherings of 2 months with these people, this one guy I felt kept on... How to say... Poking at my brain, I felt. To a point where after I left India I became extremely paranoid about everything about me. About the purity of my heart, as to the quality of person I was. I started thinking that everyone was talking about me, about anything. For instance if someone was talking about someone else entirely, I'd start to feel as if they were talking in code or something, instead of saying my name directly, as to say something to me, subliminally or something like this. I mean now I felt like I've lost my mind, I feel like I read into EVERYTHING, over analyze, I feel self-conscious, crazy and delusional. Where is this me that's always been so sure of himself and has always walked with confidence?

One of the things this guy did was he kept on trying to touch my leg, right? I wasn't weirded out but he kept on pushing, so I started stopping his hand going, no, right? See, I felt his logic was that I was uncomfortable with his touch and that because of that, I was now gay or something. After that he was like, to the group and me: It's okay, I'm bisexual, hah? Nothing wrong. I felt he was saying, we know you're gay now because you got uncomfortable, like it's okay to be bisexual too.

After I came back from India, I've been going back to my past to examine the type of person I've been and just so much... I've definitively seen a LOT of areas to change in as a person. However, about being gay, I don't ever remember being attracted to men. I always remember crushing on girls, still do. Still love women so much to a point where sometimes I even feel perverted for looking at so many of 'em all the time.

Reasons why I'm paranoid about being gay are:

- I like ABBA and love the songs Dancing Queen and Chiquitita especially. Haha!

- Sometimes I pose weirdly. Like I'll sit with my feet inwards for instance. Or stand with my hand/s on my waist to listen to people sometimes.

- I'm extremely sensitive. Meaning I feel weak sometimes about dealing with life.

- Since I've always been kinda shy around women, I've been more comfortable for instance talking to the guys. Not to say that once I'm comfortable with a certain woman, I'm able to be myself and be funny and stuff.

- I've always been called gay because I have long hair for instance. All through highschool since I grew up in Glendale, which has a population of mostly Armenian and they tend to be very macho-men.

- Also, one time, I was hanging out with a girl, and I was getting really comfortable with her, I mean I was extremely attracted to her too, but all of a sudden, right? I go: "Stop ittttt", but in a gayish manner or tone, if that makes any sense. Both me and her got surprised.

Gay people, who have come out, and maybe grew up not knowing they're gay, psychologist people, people in general, lend me your opinions on this ordeal.

7 Answers

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer


    so glad i could help you robert...

    Source(s): o.O
  • ?
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    Umm ok. Well to begin with, thanks for sharing!

    Secondly, you're 21, if you dont have homosexual urges now then you never will. Your mannerisms dont MAKE you Gay, sure some stuff might be perceived by others as being effeminate and they will jump to the conclusion that you are Gay, but these are naive and unenlightened people who don't have a clue.

    I dunno what to say about the change in your personality since you came back from India, theres obviously a route cause for it based on something you experienced there but i doubt very highly it was as simple as some guy who just wanted to get into your pants touching your leg. I guess if this change in personality, the constant over thinking and over evaluating things is causing problems in your day to day life then maybe a little therapy wouldnt hurt. I know thats an extreme road to go down, you could probably get similar results just talking to a close friend about the way you feel but it's something to be considered.

    You're not Gay so stop stressing over it, nothing is going to make you Gay and you'd have realised it by now if you were so relax Xx

  • Lava
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    Oh my various gods, shut the hell up.

    If you love musicals and cooking and decorating and wear dresses and want to bang women, then you're straight!

    If you love working on cars and football and boxing and beer and banging men, you're gay.

    Nothing about what you are, like, do, or think has any meaning towards your sexual orientation. You a man? Want sex with women only and not men? NOT GAY!! Maybe a little insecure in yourself and your masculinity, which is expected for a totally straight dude that suddenly wonders if he's gay because a man at total peace with himself touched him.

    Source(s): I am female. I like soccer and hitting things with hammers and RPGs and movies where people's heads explode and cars crash into buildings. I also like penis a thousand times more than vagina, which is how I know I'm straight, or at least straight enough where the label feels comfortable to me. I also have a BA in psychology, focused my education on human sexuality, and really love anything to do with humping, if you want further references.
  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    To be honest you don't sound gay. The last paragraph was stereotypes you happen to fit into. I'm gay and I drink whiskey, play football, am not into fashion, Im not a big fan of musicals and can't stand girly-talks. Just ask yourself if you feel physically attracted to men. If yes hen you could be bisexual/bicurious or gay. Don't over think it though as that can be harmful as if you think you are and you might start dating guys and then realise you are not and have to explain to your parents why you came out

    Source(s): Out of the closet gay psychologist. Sorry about the length
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  • 9 years ago

    You're you. You don't need to be defined as gay or straight. Just because you match up to some homosexual stereotypes doesn't mean you have to be gay. You should just explore who you are and not worry about something like what gender you're attracted to. You could be gay, you could be bisexual or you could be a curious heterosexual guy.

    Best of luck to you in finding who you are.

  • 9 years ago

    If you are attracted to men, you are gay. From what i read, you're not. Everything you wrote in the last paragraph is completely stereotypical & its pathetic that you think you may be gay because of those things.. If your dick doesn't get hard to men, than you are straight. Simple

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    I think you are paranoid, in a sick way.

    You're basically saying that you are attracted to women and always have been, and don't have sexual desires for men - but you're still SCARED that you're gay?

    Go to see a therapist!

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