Help with continuing my story opening for children 11+?
As usual, I was the one standing as flat as I could against the row of lockers as a swarm of teenagers rushed through the corridor, naming as many as I could as they walked past. Nina Goswell and her 'crew' arm in arm, layers and layers of makeup on their faces, gossiping about boys. Tracy Moore and Emily Keen texting on their phones. Jake Bradford staring at the sight before him, bronze eyes wide with amazement.
Everyone froze and slowly made way for the beautiful stranger that had entered the building. Her wavy soot black hair swayed as she made her way past the crowd, school books clutched to her chest, her mysterious goldish eyes anxious. I watched curiously as she took in the sight of all the dazzled people, shocked when her eyes rested on me for a few seconds, then watching as they stayed on Jake. The two gazed at each other as everyone started to move, then separated when the bell rang.