I went to church with my sister the other night, where they were "dancing in the spirit", & they were terrible?
So, I'm trying to fight my hangover in the back pew of the church, when all of a sudden the people start to "dance in the spirit". I didn't know what was going on, so my sister explained what they were doing, and I was just shocked--they couldn't dance worth a used condom trampled on the floor of Rage in West Hollywood! I stood up and said, "Oh no, people, you have to move on the beat!" Of course, the music the organist was playing wasn't good for dancing, but still, these folks were the worst dancers I have ever seen! One big ol' gal got up and started to move, and I said, "Uh-huh, sister! Back that thang up and show me what you learned hagging it up on Fire Island!" Imagine my disappointment, then, when she just sort of had spasms, like the rest of them.
I decided to show them some moves, and moved out into the aisle. I didn't have club clothes on, but I loosened my tie, turned on my C+C Music Factory ring tone of "Everybody Dance Now", and put some flame on that burner! Well, my sister and brother-in-law rushed up and dragged me back to my seat, and the minister came up and said that it was clear I was a "sodomite", and that they would be praying for me, that Jesus might have compassion on me and see that I get a cool spot in hell.
My sister and her husband are so mad at me now that they won't let me drive their spare car to go out, and have taken away my webcam! All I was trying to do was help, and now everyone is being mean to me! Why was it wrong to try to show those people how to dance? They really did need help.