If I told my therapist about suicidal thoughts?

I go to therapy for self harm but stopped going the past month because I told my mom and therapist I was "better" but in reality therapy wasn't helping after almost a full year and my therapist got me mad about something I didn't want to talk to her or tell her anything anymore because I lost... show more I go to therapy for self harm but stopped going the past month because I told my mom and therapist I was "better" but in reality therapy wasn't helping after almost a full year and my therapist got me mad about something I didn't want to talk to her or tell her anything anymore because I lost trust in her and she just ughhh. Anyways, my mom doesn't know I have continued self harming but my dad wants me to go back to the therapist till summer because school stresses me out and he thinks it would be good. So needless to say I have to go back for a couple more sessions.
The past 2 weeks I have been getting suicidal thoughts, I have come up with several ways to try and kill myself like overdosing, jumping in front of a train that runs by my house everynight, jump in front of a car, etc. I planned out in my head what I would write in my suicide letter, but I can never seem to get the guts/courage to actually kill myself (ok well one night i was going to overdose but after like 6 pills stopped and threw everything up) mostly because I don't want to hurt my mom like that. When I go to therapy should i lie and tell her i have been fine? Or should i tell her i have had thoughts but never acted or both had thoughts and acted? I don't want to end up in the mental ward at a hospital (if she sends me there i will probably NEVER talk to her again and would want to leave in an hour, can the mental section in hospitals do that? Check me and let me go home after a couple hours?)

If you read all that then wow, thanks
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