TONGUE WEB PIERCING INFO / HELP!?

Multiple questions*** *Please DO NOT answer these questions if you're going to tell me that it's gross and pointless, or I should take it out. I like it. Don't tell me that I'm stupid. Also, ONLY answer if you have experience with tongue web piercings. Please do not tell me my piercing is... show more Multiple questions***

*Please DO NOT answer these questions if you're going to tell me that it's gross and pointless, or I should take it out. I like it. Don't tell me that I'm stupid. Also, ONLY answer if you have experience with tongue web piercings.

Please do not tell me my piercing is infected. I highly doubt that it is.

Okay so, I pierced my tongue web two days ago. May 6th, 2012. I pierced it myself with a larger than average sewing needle, and I have a straight 18g barbell in it right now. I sanitized EVERYTHING I used very well. I know doing it yourself isn't very safe, (hitting a vein, infection, etc), but I wanted it done and my mom won't let me have piercings other than my ears (I'm hiding it from her and my dad). I know there's a higher risk of it getting infected by doing it at home, but I take care of it very well. I brush my teeth three times a day, swish with sea salt water, clean off the plaque, and wash my hands before i clean it, etc.
Below, I have a couple pictures. I want to know if it's healing right. I know white stuff (lymph, healing skin, plaque) on oral piercings is normal but I'd like to know if it looks alright. There is NO yellow or green crap on it. Only white.

http://i49.tinypic.com/2w69b2v.jpg
http://i46.tinypic.com/3508gb8.jpg

Also, I feel like one side of the hole is healing better than the other side. It looks more together if you know what I mean. Is this normal?

It's been pretty sore and I know soreness is completely fine but when will it go away and what can I do to make it less sore? The swelling went down a bit. I'm allergic to most ibuprofen. Today, I used ice on it and it helped for an hour or two.

It's very very very difficult to eat with it right now. The ball on the barbell keeps coming off when I eat or just randomly and I keep having to reach in my mouth and tighten it or go to the bathroom and put it back on (which takes 10 minutes sometimes). And I can't really stick my hands in my mouth at the dinner table without my mom and dad wondering what I'm doing. Since it's such an awkward place, it's pretty hard to tighten it the whole way and sometimes I do, but it ends up coming undone anyways. Is there anyway to keep the ball from falling off? It's EXTREMELY irritating. I can't really move my tongue while I'm eating either, and I have a feeling I look really dumb when I eat. My tongue hurts when I eat.

Kind of personal here, but how long will it be until I can make out? I can't really move my tongue much and that's kind of what making out is.
Also, what about oral sex? I have a boyfriend of almost 9 months so no, I'm not a whore, but I'm just wondering when I can.

I have a little lisp right now and sometimes it even hurts to talk or swallow. Is that okay? Will the lisp go away?
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