????? asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 9 years ago

is this cover letter ok? \?

I hate writing new cover letters because its so annoying... Do you think this cover letter can be generic for most jobs?

I am fully aware that professional experience is an important process in succeeding in a dynamic industry. My interests in technology and entertainment industry make me a strong candidate for the Marketing Communications and Account Services Intern position.

Throughout my childhood, technology and entertainment became an essential part of my life because I grew up in the early 80s when technology was just blooming. I had access to the internet, video game consoles, television, computer, and now social media. My technological skills has stemmed from the internet and searching on search engines to discover bits and pieces of information that helped me install softwares and programs and fixing computers and improving my understanding of technology.

From my part-time job at Advantage Sales and Marketing as a Video Game Sales Specialist, I learned that branding is an important part in achieving customer loyalty for PlayStation. One of the essential duties as a PlayStation rep is to build brand awareness to the customers and allow them to fully immerse themselves into the product giving them a look and feel to it to define PlayStation’s highly definitive market.

For my projects in my marketing class, I plan wisely and accordingly to quickly execute my plans and resolve issues in a timely fashion. For any skills or education I may lack in, I become viciously ambitious to quickly learn the functionality of the assignment to endeavor my skill and strengthen my knowledge. For instance, I was asked to create a flyer from scratch on Adobe Illustrator; it took me about one day to learn the basic functionalities given that I never experimented with this program before.

Update:

btw i wrote this for another job, but wonder if this will work

job description

As Marketing Communications Intern, you will be responsible for assisting the Account Services Team with daily client activity. Your duties will also include monitoring competitor activity and researching new areas of business. This is a great position to learn and test your skills in a visionary advertising agency.

Qualifications: • Commitment to professionalism and hard work

• Excellent writing and research skills

• Extremely detail-oriented, task-focused and well-organized

• Polite and professional phone/email skills

• Good Internet research skills

• You may be asked to travel

• Bilingual preferred

• Completed undergraduate degree in Advertising/Communications or currently enrolled in a 4-year program

• Strong knowledge of MS Office, including Word, Excel, PowerPoint and Outlook

Update 2:

of course it needs some tweaks

2 Answers

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  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Not sure this is etiquette.

    I assume the letter starts with the "I am fully aware paragraph." In this case, "I am fully aware" comes off as confrontational and snotty. The 'My Interests' sentence is poorly worded.

    'Computer' should be computers. 'And now social media' doesn't fit with the rest of that sentence. The sentences is also confusing because you are talking about the '80s and then going into things that weren't part of the '80s.

    In professional writing, '80s would usually be spelled out to eighties.

    'My technological skills *HAVE*. Stemmed is a weird and incorrect word choice.

    'Searching on search engines' is poor. 'using search engines' is better. Watch your tense in this sentence and throughout the entire cover letter.

    '...build brand awareness to the customers' is a weird sentence.

    '...immerse themselves *IN*...'

    '...giving them a look and feel to it to define PlayStation’s highly definitive market. ' This sentence doesn't make any sense. I don't think definitive is the word you want here.

    'For my projects in my marketing class' cut one of the 'my's and reword.

    ' viciously ' Vicious is not usually a word that you want in a cover letter. It's too violent.

    '...I become viciously ambitious to quickly learn the functionality of the assignment to endeavor my skill and strengthen my knowledge.' This doesn't make any sense.

    'functionalities' and 'functionality' - I'm not sure you are using this word correctly.

    'For instance, I was asked to create a flyer from scratch on Adobe Illustrator; it took me about one day to learn the basic functionalities given that I never experimented with this program before' weak sentence - too casual, weird structure

    Honestly, simplfy this and express interest in the position. Your resume should be worded in how you adapt quickly and are an asset to the company, not just your job and what you did. So, instead of

    Sales Specialist - Advantage Sales & Marketing

    Sold video games. Handled cash transactions. Ran credit card machine. Explained use of games and equipment. Opened and closed store.

    you want

    Sales Specialist - Advantage Sales & Marketing

    While working for Advantage, I was regularly a top sales person, being the first team member to ever sell $10,000 in one day, which I then repeated 15 times over my employment. I was given responsibilities of cash handling and transaction completion 6 months before most other employees are permitted to do so. During my employment, overall sales at the store increased 10%. I was able to learn PlayStation and all the workings, along with rapidly learning Adobe Illustrator, XBOX, and just about any other system that was thrown at me.

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    Simply go to Start>All programs>Accessories>system tools> system restore and restore the computer to the date before the problem occurs.

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