All my boyfriend ever thinks about is sex?

I was molested throughout my childhood and raped by a classmate a year before we began dating. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years (I'm 16, he's 18). I lost my virginity to him, but after a few months of sex, I wanted to stop (emotional, religious, and family reasons). He seemed to understand but was disappointed.

However, now all he thinks about is sex. He seems depressed over it. But I don't think I can have sex without experiencing horrible depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder symptoms (originating from my molestation and rape). He is unhappy with life in general, and he feels hopeless. I really want to want to have sex, but I don't. I want him to be happy, but I don't know what to do.

He doesn't pressure me, but I just feel so guilty seeing him struggle with it all the time (he sees couples at school talk about it, he hears about it, and he's jealous of them). I told him he can watch porn, I said he could even have sex with other girls if he wanted to. But he only wants to have sex with me as it provides an intimacy he seems to believe we can't achieve any other way.

We don't do anything sexual anymore, besides occasionally making out, and I don't even really like that.

I don't know. I'm just really hurt that he can't get over it because I need him to be okay with this.

Should I just give in so he can be happy? Or what do I do? How can I make him happy without being miserable myself?


My boyfriend did know about my issues before committing to a relationship.

I am also currently in therapy for PTSD and depression, and I've been doing a lot better.

I am so thankful for my boyfriend. I am so appreciative of him and all that he's done. He is truly a champ. :)

3 Answers

  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    it sounds like this guy is a champ for sticking with you throughout your tough times. i had a shockingly similar occurrence, but my guy dumped me when i said i didn't want to have sex anymore. this guy obviously cares about you. he wouldnt stick around if it was all physical. i think he does need to understand that you two can achieve intimacy without being physical. i also suggest you go to a therapist, if you aren't already. i hope things work out for you hon.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    you are too young to be sexually active according to various countries around the globe. some countries say 16 is alright, anyhow. the association of sex with bad feelings/negativity is what needs to be fixed by you. i understand tat you feel a certain ay about sex. but that has to change for you. you have to in the future rediscover sexual activity as something that is not harmful , hateful, and something unpleasant. take anything and force it on someone, more than likely they will not like it. Also, there are a number of things you need to do to recover yourself from the trauma that you experienced. among them is to redefine the people and what happened in the larger perspective,redefine who you are, and understanding that you are spirit rather than matter, helps you to be separate from being able to be harmed in any way, another thing is to overcome impressions upon the mind by stronger impressions, and that involves the steps mentioned previously but to know their truth to such an intense degree that its truth overshadow the impressions made upon your mind by the rape situation. reading the book that I present will help you in understanding how the mind works, thus you will be able to put into practice how to control and rule your mind. this of course with practice. also you could help your boyfriend understand what happened to you emotionally and mentally about the trauma that you went through. regarding your boyfriemd watching porn or being too sexually influenced, reading the book is helpful for him. It is beneficial for you to recognize when you come across potentially phenomenal information, so you don't overlook the empowering knowledge. You are lucky to get this info. Many people are suffering in silence, so mention the true Nature of the Problem (below) & the Website (mentioned after my answer, includes numerous Youtube videos to be watched in order). I used to be intensely into watching porn, and I overcame it. If I can, anyone can overcome it. Nature of Problem: Manipulation of the mind through trickery: Various sexual presentations expose the viewer to numerous impactful mind altering manipulations. The viewer having little to no chance to defend themselves is virtually powerless against these intrusions. The viewer is delivered a powerful mental high, which is experienced as a powerful sexual high. The book a) Reveals the Manipulations, b) Explaining How the Mind Works, 3) Details How to Nullify the Tricks & Free the Mind from these cunning deceptions.

    Source(s): SEXUAL ADDICTION SOLUTION MANUAL (BOOK): "Open To Bliss Sage Hope's 1st Gift to Humanity The Definitive & Complete Solution Manual to Sexual Attraction & Addiction" Related Site: YOUTUBE VIDEO (Mind Tricks in Sex Programs)
  • 9 years ago

    You need to dump your boyfriend. He deserves better than some girl with another life story and mommy and daddy issues. You put to much on sex and make it complicated, and it's just grossly overly dramatic. No guy wants a girl with issues like yours so you really need to stop making things so god damn complicated.

    You need to put your past problems behind or get consoling. Taxpayers pay alot for planned parent hood and related services that could help you, so use them.

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