Need help tell me if this song is good?

Your Open Question: Is This A Good Song need critism!?

I try to be happy

You wreck it for me

One second im your angel

Then in the garbage on the curb

Im Nothing but a name to you.

You make me feel unwanted

I wish you would accept me.

------------chorus-----------

Why cant you love me?

Im not different you see

If I dropped dead would you care?

Or am I just dull and bare?

(un-un-unwantes x3)

Am I out of my mind?

What does it take for you to see

I want love

I want peace

I WANT to be treated the same as you.

You watch me cry and laugh.

Chorus

(you cant take me down

You cant make me cry

You cant judge me.

Socitey cant hurt me

Humanity will be set free x2)

Chorus x2

I NEED critism for this. I dont care if its mean just tell me whats wrong with it. it doesent feel right idk why haha

1 Answer

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  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I like where you're getting at with it, it's good:). But I'll tell you what I'd change, since you asked. First of all, this is a really common topic (bad love, mistreatment), and sometimes the lyrics are all the same (I don't know what your sound will be though), and it gets a bit repetitive. Thing is, you need an out of the box approach to this, and maybe experiment with the lyrics. Anyone can make a love song, but only a true artist can make a unique, original, deep, emotional, and great sounding love song.

    To do that, try to create metaphors, lyrics that are more mysterious and subtle. When you sing the song, sing with emotion.. not forced emotion, but emotion that can be felt. It doesn't have to be obnoxiously loud. It can even be very soft. Listen to the song small blue thing, by suzanne vega. It creates an aura, a feeling in you. It's a love song. The lyrics are very interesting. Listen to some Pink Floyd, there lyrics are very metaphorical, deep, moving, and the songs are also catchy (meaning they never get boring). Even look at Nirvana lyrics.. there are very blunt and to the point lyrics at times, but then there are very metaphorical lyrics as well..

    Hopefully that helps.. Over all, just change the lyrics and try to add more depth.

    Good Luck, you have a nice start:)

    Source(s): Music
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