Can my writing get worse?
I'm a 13 year old writer and I've been working on my novel for about 3 weeks. I think I started out okay,but recently I have been noticing my prose is falling. I don't think it was very good to begin with. Can you guys help me know whether my writing is getting worse and if you can give a long answer and critique it as well?
Here's the opening of the first chapter:
Chase Cooper lay awake on his bed, unable to get to sleep the night before. Today’s the day, he thought. The long awaited piercing sound of the alarm clock sends him leaping out of bed and into the bathroom. He undresses and steps into the shower. His hands fumble on the Japanese shower knob, but he eventually manages to turn on the hot water.
As pellets of hot water bombarded his skin, he thinks about the day ahead of him. It was the day he’ll finally break loose of the cocoon of a life his father has built for him. His father was an archaeologist and frequently traveled across the globe, taking Chase along with him.
But a few days ago, Chase’s father had announced that he was retiring and moving to Nevada, permanently. Chase realized that he’d finally have the opportunity to finally do the things normal fifteen-year-olds do; attend school; have friends; go to parties.
But most of all, he’d return to the place his mother died at. He’d finally fill in the gap of his conscience for moving so abruptly when she died. Chase clasped his soaking wet metallic medallion his mother had given him when he was young. The very last thing she had given to him.
A few minutes later Chase stepped out of the shower, wrapped a clean white towel around his waist, and put his clothes back on. The instant he steps out of the bathroom, his father swings Chase’s room door open.
“Come on, Chase,” he said. “I’ve already put our luggage in the back of the car, and the cab driver isn’t getting any less impatient.”
They walked past the hotel lobby and the friendly Japanese doorman opened the door as they left. A bright yellow cab covered in Japanese letters and symbols was parked right outside the hotel and they stepped in.
The vile scent of tobacco crept up Chase’s nose, and he couldn’t help crinkling his nose. The rotten food hidden in the patched-up beaten leather seats gave off a putrid smell that forced its way into his nose so quickly that Chase didn’t have time to pinch it.
Then, after a few failed attempts, the car’s engine sprang to life- which was probably the only thing that could live in that dump- and they began distancing themselves from the hotel.
Okay now here's the chapter I'm currently working on(chapter 4)
"Agent Cooper was a great man," the funeral director had said through the podium. "He was exceptionally brave and talented."
Chase stood, his head drooping, in the first line of people.
"Unfortunately," the funeral director continues. "Agent Brant's body could not be recovered because it was completely obliterated."
Chase looked over his shoulder. A line of soldier stood behind him holding up their rifles and straightening themselves . It was a warm, sunny day, but Chase couldn't feel any warmth. He had lost his only family. The night before Chase couldn't get much sleep. He kept pacing around the room until two in the morning. It's my fault,Chase thought. I wished he'd leave my life and now he did.
Chase gritted his teeth. There was nothing he could do. Everyone he loved, taken from him by the cold hands of death. Chase's forehead throbbed and his palms became sweaty.
People Chase had never met before were now coming up and giving eulogies about how Chase's father had saved their lives. Chase then came upon a realization; everyone there knew more about his father than him. It hadn't occurred to Chase to learn more about his father. There weren't many opportunities, really. His father went to "work" in the morning and Chase stayed in their hotel room,finishing up some homework. But occasionally, Chase would sneak out and explore the city until evening. Then he would rush back to the hotel,complete the rest of the homework, and go to bed.
Sometimes, his father would let him stay up late so that they could watch a movie. Those nights, Chase's father came with bruises and scars all over his skin. Chase would ask him what happened and his father would say that it was an occupational injury.
Chase looked up, staring at the gravestone engraved with his father's name. Chase clenched his fists. I didn't do this, he thought. Chimera Industries did this. They killed both my parents!
Chase's heart began beating rapidly and his muscles tightened. His head throbbed with fury. I have to do this, Chase thought. I have to avenge my parents. Chase looked down at his hands. I have to do this.
BTW the Cooper being mentioned in the fourth chapter is my characters dad. Be brutal!
- AfterwardsLv 58 years agoBest Answer
Hey, your writing's fine. You just need to read over it a few times, improve what you can. Like, for example, in the first chapter you slip into present tense a couple times, try to fix that. Other than that, though, you're pretty good for a 13-year-old. Your description's great, your character is very realistic, and your plot sounds amazing! Keep writing, that's the only way you can improve!
- 8 years ago
i'm a 13 year old writer too, and i can't help but ask myself that same exact question. However this isn't the question you should be asking yourself, you should be asking yourself can my writing get any better. I've been working on my story for 4 months and i'm still on the prologue and ch. one. In my opinion you're doing great! This is a great chapter one and four. I'm not going to "be brutal" because there really isn't tanything to "be brutal" about. Just reread your story, that's how i managed to change mine so often! GOOD LUCK!Source(s): personal experience
- Anonymous8 years ago
Pick a tense and stick to it. You're not ready to write a novel yet - the first section is particularly.bad.
Your "chapter 4" is better, so no, you're not gtting worse, you're improving. But you are still very obviously a beginner writer.
You don't need a long answer or critique. You need to do some proofreading.
- CharleneLv 44 years ago
What ever you do, don't bring yourself down to their level. If they are nosy enough to look over your fence into the privacy of your yard, heaven only knows what garbage they would pull. Go to city code enforcement to find out exactly what the rules are about how you maintain private property,what you can and can't do. Storage,fences, noise, animals and so on. Don't use it against your neighbor, but to protect yourself so the next time they complain. And if they will evade your privacy, they will try to cause more trouble. Arm yourself with the facts and they will be the ones in trouble.
- How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
- 8 years ago
You need to watch your tenses. But your writing probably won't get any worse unless you stop practising. Keep writing! Don't listen to this nonsense about 'not being ready', that's how you improve!
- DavidLv 78 years ago
What kind of a question is :
Can my writing get worse?
Sure it can. Add more description and lots of adverbs.
- 8 years ago
Im sure there is a place you can go to check your writings in your school.