Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 8 years ago

I`m a Christian wife Married to a Muslim Husband (Until when must i suffer just to have a Family)?

I`m a Christian Wife married to a Muslim husband, with different nationality. Since we got legally married we started to live here in my country.we have 2 children 2yrs. of age and 4months.We met in his country I was a student there & became friends. Until the day came in-order to live together we must make a non-legal marriage. which was his decision. Until the day come I became pregnant. After, my allowances was cut he told me I must go back home to my country. When I called home my family hesitated to send me & told me it is your husbands duty to t.care of you. I cannot afford to pay an apartment & to provide the basic needs. Until he made me live in a house of a helper I knew with the same nationality I have. He did not even supported me with anything. He would bring me to my prenatal check-up if i had money which I borrow from the helper I stay with. He just come to see me once in awhile because he was busy finding money for his car. Even fight me that my family wont send money for my ticket or even send me money to pay his bank loan. Until the day came I was 5months pregnant she called my family if you wouldn`t send her ticket she will sleep in the street. My family answered him she is your wife why you dont make her stay in your families home. He said CANT BE, because my mother dont accept. Until he had no choice he made me sleep for 1 night in the home of his divorced wife. Until my ticket came to go back home. When I came here he even asked 2x money for his car loan which, I tried to help but when I came he promised me & my family as soon as I fix the problem of my car I will follow & come to your country 2 months maximum. Until 4months passed he didnt come. What he did he worked as a car service for tourist to pay his credit. until the night I was to give birth I asked him will you really come he answered I dont know. He even made my family pay my hospital bills. Until the baby is born I asked him to sign the birth certificate of our child. He answered me give me the money of the ticket & I will fix it when I come there. Which I did not Until 2months came with no communication my child was almost 6months old. He said He will really come just send the ticket. So, I did then he came with a deal that I would make him work to pay his car loan.When he arrived here in my country he said we must do legal marriage which we did.

He worked for his car loan & be a husband Father. I was the one paying for our Food,Clothing, everything except home because he wanted to live in my family home which it would be free.Until the time came when he lost his job then I tried to pay for him his car loan until the time came I cant cause my savings has soon to become zero must we use the money for our basic needs.

Then he made Etikaff in the mosque meaning prayer 10 days no going out. Months has passed until we didn`t pay for his car loan. He didn’t complain & accepted our hard life. So, i think he changed. Until we had the chance to buy & sell land but it was 1year payment not cash so we paid his car loan again & had money for our life.

From the start of our marriage till now he never gave me anything. I waited the time if he would have his own hard earned money he would give me even a ring( wedding ring ). When he had the chance to have money I patiently waited that he would change & think about us his family until the time came my 2nd child was soon to be born. What he did he just continued to pay for his car loan. In able not to loose his car.

Then, I prayed to God when will he change? God,if he will not pls make me ready & not cry.When he sit down at home he would complain where is the work I told him isn`t it our money to come is still dated after 4months we must wait God gave it to us to be able to think of what to do when it come. He started to go out with friends in the mosque until 1 day we decided to sell Halal foods he wanted to start it big. I told him we can start small. He don’t want. Then I told him lets wait when our checks come we will. Then he met new friend same as his nationality & religion he gave our idea & source, concept to him & he his friend did it. I got angry i told him why you gave him that idea & all worst even accompanied him everyday just to have all the things needed to start it. He said I`m Satan. Allah made me to know him to give this idea. He will not stop us if we do it too. I was so hurt & sad because it was not only his idea its ours for our family to have regular income. Then, he started making problems. When he is at home his face is sad,bored. But when he talk with his friend in the phone he laugh & he is happy. I told him why he is doing that. He said whats your problem. I told him it seems you are not happy at home. I talked to him pls. Every Sunday make it free for me. It,s my day Ill go to church & try to do window shopping. He agreed but 3 weeks ago he sent me mesg. My friend is coming. So, I said I must go home & check the child when i come home i saw our 3months

Update:

child in the living area & he is smoking in the door with his friend so i decided not to continue going out. By the way we have no helper its me or him do the housework. I told him u broke our deal. He said ok & didn’t make it long. So Sunday came again our car have no gasoline & the money we have is for the milk of our child. So id did not go to church all i did is wash clothes. He is supposed to tc of our 2 children because its my day. What he did he just surprised me with his clothes & went out with his friend & do the paper for the halal business. I became sad & cried. When he got home I told him cant you stop. He told me ok I will. PLs. I do all the work in the home & tcare of the children just Sunday pls respect it for me. Until Sunday came after 3 minutes the church finish HE TOLD ME HIS GONE PRAY IF WE MUST BE TOGETHER OR NOT. HE LEFT OUR 2 CHILDREN in our room & called my mom down in the phone to tcare of them because he will be going out. Not knowing He was already out. I wen

2 Answers

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  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    You need to sort this out with your him. They are his kids too. You are married to him legally. Talk to him. Tell him you are trying to help him in the best way you can. Talk to a professional. But as a wife, it's your duty to take car of the house. He works and if you're not working then at least you should help around the house. Too messy.

  • This guy doesn't care and is using you. But you had 2 kids. Please think before you do anything.

    Kick him out, get a divorce and get child support and alimony. Focus on you and the 2 kids. Enjoy your life.

    Look at the sky, look at the tree. The joy from everything around you is your happiness.

    Your free right now so take advantage of it.

    You never know maybe he was just a jerk, politely saying. Good that he is gone, make sure he doesn't come back. Be strong for your sake.

    Relationships are obligation, yet enjoyment, but there is responsibilities. Make sure this is the way you want to go.

    If you do, join chat rooms, clubs, hobbies and meet people that like what you like.

    There is so much you can do, start with little steps and keep at it.

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