How will you celebrate ZJ day?

Zombie jeebus day, that is; next Sunday.

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  • 9 years ago
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    FYI...

    In Judeo/Christianity there are 2 distinct holidays, Passover and Easter.

    Passover is Jewish while Easter is Christian.

    Jesus instituted the Christian Easter Celebration in full violation of God’s Passover –Exo12!

    It hardly has any connection with it except that it is celebrated at about the same time.

    The Jewish PASSOVER is about God killing ALL the innocent firstborn children of Egyptian parents.

    Exo 12:12

    For I* (*God the Father) will PASS THROUGH*

    (*pass-over)

    the land of Egypt this night, and WILL SMITE all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, both man and beast; and against all the Gods of Egypt*

    (*God and Saint Paul admit the existence of MANY OTHER GODS -1Cor8:5! It would be very silly of God to SMITE ALL the Gods of Egypt, if they don’t exist!)

    I will execute judgment: I am the LORD!*

    (*but God did a real poor job because the Egyptians NEVER stopped worshipping their own Gods)

    ==

    God slaughtered ALL the innocent firstborn children and ANIMALS not celebrating the Jewish “PASSOVER” event in Egypt.

    The 2,000,000+ Jews were supposed to be DESTITUTE SLAVES, but every singly Jewish family was celebrating the PASSOVER FEAST roasting a lamb for dinner.

    The Jews were SLAVES in Egypt, but they owned over 500,000 sheep, large extensions of grassing fields to feed their sheep, and all the trimming needed for the Passover ritual.

    While at the same time, their Egyptian MASTERS were wailing not only the death of their firstborn children, but also the TOTAL DESTRUCTION, SEVERAL TIMES OVER of all of their livestock, and the loss of their agriculture.

    The Jews are awesome Bible writers from way back!

    Regardless of how absurd are the Bible stories, religious people are willing to kill, and die to defend, or at least to bleed at a rate of 10% of their income, to defend what they believe to be true faith (gullibility).

    As soon as Israel invaded the Palestinian Holy Land that was “Flowing with Milk and Honey,” they began to starve to death to the point that God forced them to eat their own children for dinner (Jer19:9, Lam4:10)!

    Christians are stuck with this primitive gruesome God!

    Fortunately they came up with the HOLY TRINITY idea that allows them to pick a mellower God the Son Jesus Christ as the least of the 3 evils.

    The Christian EASTER celebration is the nailing of God the Son Jesus Christ to a Holy Roman Cross, but any of them having kids prefer the Easter Bunny celebration!

    Christianity is known as the SLAUGHTER HOUSE RELIGION, not too appealing to minors.

    The first Christian Easter celebration was instituted by Jesus and a group of MEN ONLY who rejected all family ties to follow him.

    In Heaven Jesus will be surrounded for zillions of years by 144,000 male virgin Jews… by then Christians will discover Jesus’ real sexual orientation.

    The original JEWISH PASSOVER is celebrated in a family setting with the kid of the family asking daddy at dinner, “why is this night so different from all the other nights?” …and daddy would tell everybody the “Exodus” story.

    Easter has hardly anything to do with Passover!

    Mar 10:28-30

    Peter said to him, "We have left everything to follow you!"*

    (*Israel also left the good land of Egypt)

    "I TELL YOU THE TRUTH," Jesus replied*

    (*no bull crap now!)

    "no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a HUNDRED TIMES as much in this present age homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields--and with them, persecutions and in the age to come, eternal life*

    (*Jesus forgot to mention that in the meantime Christians need to be up to date paying their tithes and offerings to the Church Treasury -Acts 5:1-11!)

    ==

    JWs know that Jesus instituted the ritual of the Holy Communion in violation of a clear commandment of God about not drinking any blood (Gen9:4).

    Joh 6:53

    Then Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you*

    (*this time is really, really no bull crap!)

    Except ye eat the FLESH of the Son of man, and drink his BLOOD, ye have no life in you*

    (*Jesus is addressing a vampire oriented population of future Christians, JWs and Mormons)

    Breaking any Law of God is OK as long as it is done to favor the newly forming Christian faith!

    God makes the rules as the Bible stories are being developed. Christians call it PROGRESSIVE REVELATION.

    In Bible times the “Word of God” was as close to any Priest or Preacher as a pen and a piece of paper to the Bible writer!

    So happy Easter all ye Christians!

  • 9 years ago

    I will chew the ears off a chocolate bunny.

    Source(s): That is an act of mercy, since, without ears, he won't have to listen to any sermons.
  • Actor
    Lv 5
    9 years ago

    aren't zombies humans that cannot think or control themselves? Jesus may not be sci fi, but he sure wasn't that either!

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