Father is willing to sign over rights.?

I have a 2 year old daughter with my ex. We were together for 8 years until I discovered he was abusing drugs. It made him extremely paranoid and it's been about a year since. We separated and he is struggling with sobriety and still believes things that aren't true because of the extensive drug use. He is trying to stay sober but his anger with his "beliefs" constantly make that a struggle. Anyway I've been seeing a therapist and talked to a social worker in which we all agreed as long as he is not using around her and interacts well with her she should still be able to have a relationship with him but that I should have full custody for now. I told him I'm going to file and he just said he will sign over his rights because he doesn't want the court to start "digging" into his life. I asked him if whether or not i filed for custody if he would still be a father to her and his response was that with the things e has done and what he has "discovered" during this past year he won't be able to be a good father. I am now starting to feel guilty and second guess my decision am I doing the right thing?


I forgot to mention that I made it very clear to him that even if I got the custody I would not keep our daughter away from him all I wanted him to do was show progress like going to therapy or rehab

Update 2:

Let me make it clear that I would never put anyone over my child. I am not Looking for answers to tell me that I am a horrible mother because I'm definitely not and because my child does come first I'm trying to figure out what is best for her and for her to keep a relationship with her father. I would never put her in any danger that is why I am receiving therapy and advise from social workers who are experienced in dealing with these situations. I am looking for input from people who have experienced similar situations not from people who are quick to judge me and not fully read the context of my question to obviously see that I am not putting my child in danger!!

4 Answers

  • Ellie
    Lv 6
    9 years ago


    Just because you have custody, does not make him any less of a father. A good relationship can still be built between the father/daughter and it sounds like you are ready/generous enough to allow that to bloom.

    Best of both worlds. You are doing the right thing - keep the door open for him, and he'll come when he's ready.

  • 9 years ago

    Courts do not let fathers just sign away parental rights because of any reason, short of adoption.

    He can decide not to see her, not to be any part of her life, and have no relationship or visiting with her all he wants. He still has to pay child support.

    You should get 100% custody, and it will be easy since he won't contest it, but he can't sign over his rights. Not in any state.

  • bored
    Lv 6
    9 years ago

    It sounds like you're right - he won't be able to be a good father, just as he thinks. However, he should be encouraged to take part in her life.

    Get full custody, and encourage visitation.

  • 9 years ago

    by him signing away his rights he, by law, would not be able to have any access to the childs life and you would still be intitled to child-support, he would have no rights to her in school, medical, parenting every aspect no matter what your intentions may be for the child.......and from my understanding once he signs them away he CAN NEVER GET THEM BACK........the fact that you are second guessing yourself makes one doubt your ability to be a good parent...the child NEEDS COMES FIRST her safety, sanity well-being EVERYTHING and if you are willing to jeopardize that then you need to look at yourself and what kinda parent you are.....how dare you put the doped up father over your innocent child.....any parent NOT WILLING TO GET STRAIGHT FOR THEIR OWN CHILD DOES NOT LOVE THAT AT ALL......if they did then getting sober WOULD BE NO PROBLEM.........PERIOD.....

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.