close friend`s girlfriend has feelings for me, what do i do?
A week ago at a house party, my friend's girlfriend cornered me in a room, locked the door and poured her heart out to me and questioned if i felt the same about her, we were both drunk as well. Her side is that when she met my friend and I around the same time, she had some feelings for both of us, and it was my friend who returned those feelings, but to be with him would also involve seeing me as she was the one coming into our group of friends, so those feelings never went away.
Now i have never had any feelings for her, at least not on the same level as what she is looking for, and i told her this. This resulted in pain for her, not intended but that was her reaction, and she had a breakdown, and i comforted her while she cried on my shoulder. At the same time my friend, her bf, started drinking heavily and every now and then coming to the door and asking her to open it and she would just tell him to go away. After she regained her composure and understanding that i was denying all her advances she went to her bf and i never saw them for the rest of the night. i have no idea what they have talked about, if any, and me and my friend have not talked about it at all and as far as i can tell there is no loss of friendship between us.
the main idea bouncing around my mind is " did i do the right thing?" or " could i have handled it better?" and just looking for something to reflect what where my mind is going.
in our conversation, my entire stance was for her to understand what she has with her bf, cherish it and move on. And i denied her advances in a cold manner,i guess , telling her that i wasn't being cruel or mean to say it this way. but it because i am Introverted, this distant demeanor that i have, that she was attracted to me in the first place.
i'm not one to start or be involved with drama, when it comes to issues like these i will rarely talk about such things, even if i'm involved or not. and unless i feel it needs to be settled immediately or the issue is forced on me i most likely never will.
- Anonymous9 years agoFavorite Answer
You should've had sex with her.
- Anonymous9 years ago
Yes you did the right thing :), I suggest yu discuss it with yur friend though....yu never kno what she might have told him...
- ?Lv 79 years ago
You say you don't have feelings for her but you do. Otherwise you wouldn't keep thinking these things.
Now you have to just move on, you did the right thing. This girl is awful, though. She's supposed to be your friend's gf yet she's pouring all her feelings out to you?!?! No, no and no. BUT you cannot and should not speak to your friend about this at all. It will just backfire on you. It's his relationship and he has to manage it himself. You were a good friend, you rejected his gf's advances. She should not have cried on your shoulder. You shouldn't really have let her but you were attracted to her (yes, you were). She may break his heart but you can't stop it. And, as a good friend, you should never interfere.
- Anonymous9 years ago
I would warn your friend about her feelings for you, so he can maybe handle it better in the future. I tried it with my friend and it worked fine. I'm not sure what your friend is like, so I don't know what his reaction will be. Good luck, and hope it works.