Wrote a poem after long time..MERCIFUL ALMIGHTY...a little story...plz judge it?

Question

MERCIFUL ALMIGHTY....

Lost all thou virtues

in avarice, Now thee lack

But He stood there for you

Never ever turned his back

On thy path to ambition

why hast thou gone so wretched?

Behold! there He stands still

With his arms ever stretched

Thou never pacified

Thou never satisfied

For thee sake of Mammon

Thou cheated and thou lied...

And when the day of Judgement arrived

and 'Twas sure thou no longer thrived

thou hast no one to blame

when the Messiah of Justice came..

Amid the fires of the Gehenna

When a culprit just to be cast

Flickers in the inner eye

All thou blunders of the past

To the feet of Almighty

Thou fell and thou did cry

'Twas judgement announced but still

Thou regretted for each lie

Swathed with emotion and abstract

Pleaded mercy with a drenched eye

'Let me be pricked amongst thy disciples,

I beg before I die'

Albeit thou were a sinner's chief

Eventually, in Thee, thou had belief

He pulled thee from the fiery flames

And pricked thou amid His disciple's names.....

Answer 1

Favorite Answer

Unless you actually use thee and thou and thy in everyday speech, and know how to use it correctly, there is no reason to use it in a contemporary poem, unless you are being satirical. This could be satire but I had a hard time paying attention after:

Lost all thou virtues

in avarice, Now thee lack

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