Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 8 years ago

Please answer this question! It's important to me!?

Hey guys thanks for reading! ok so i have had the same bestfriend since 2nd grade , and were in 8th now and almost in ninth.. lets say my bestfrineds name is sue (which its not of course) ok so this year me and my bestfreind were closer than we have ever been in our entire lifes . i mean she has been my bestifriend forever and i absouletly love her to death and everyhting and we go so much closer this year, and this year i met this new girl, lets say her names jill (again which its not) ok so i met jill this year and i got really close with jill. so i started hanging out with jill AND sue together , so now jill and sue are bestfriends. but now since they are bestfriends i feel kind of left out with them, just because they have gotten so close and everything. so one day like 2 weeks ago, sue was ignoring me kinda at school so i texted her at night and asked her if she was mad at me, her response was no. i said you have just been kinda leaving me out and it feels like me and you are splitting , and her response was i can have other freinds than you.. it makes me really sad because like she is my one GOOD bestfrined , i have other "friends" and evryhting but i thought noone could replace her. sue is a bit more popular than me and so is jill and they get more guys than me and stuff. so i truely dont know if theyre leaving me out because im not as cool or what but idk . so anyway ever since i texted sue that one nihgt, things haent been the same at all ! so agian just tonight , i was just chatting her like hey whats up , and stuff (beacuse i wanna get closer like we were) and i said night <3 and she said night. i said you never put hearts or smley faces for me anymore and she said so? so i said it feels like you and jill are coming together more and leavign me out , and her response again was i can have more friends than you. so i said what is that supposed to mean ? so sue said it means your not my only friend. so i said i understand, but weve been like freinds for 8 years and your replaceing me ? so i guess she thinks were fine and stuff i guess . but anyway like they leave me out at school and stuff by walking side by side in the halls and leaving me to walk behind them . and the other day we got to choose partners and sue told jill to come work with her , so i knew i was gonna be left out... so jill wnet over there and sue gave me a weird mean look like she wanted me to know i was gonna get left out . so i didnt wanna go over there with them because i thought sue was gonna be mad. so i didnt then i asked why one of them didnt wanna work with me and they said you shouldve come over here then ! so i feel left out cuz of that and cuz like they always make plans and stuff without out. and they always text and put hearts and stuff to each other and leave me out on facebook and stuff and i just feel like im loosing my bestufreined of 8 years. she's not replaceable to me. i might be to her, but shes not to me. so my question is what should i do about this ? should i try to hang out with sue to get her to know how nice and a good freidn i am to her and how good friend i am to her and stuff? or should i try to make one of them jelous for me ? or what? all i want is my bestfreind back like it used to be ! thanks for reading and please answer! i feel better now that i vented out my feelings too:) ok well please help and no bad commments or anything please ! again thanks everyone plesase help ! THANKS <3

Update:

btw guys , me and sue were like vel-chro to each other , we ALWAYS were around each other and i really miss her , but i just wanted to say thank you for everything! i cried a little reading the comments, but just becuase i figured out that if you loose a friend, there the one that will feel bad and blame themself. i plan to hangout with my new friends this summer, and maybe sue will reliaze how much fun we had together. ! and jill ALWAYS bails on sue for hanging out, so idk if they will be together much longer (as freinds) and i comepletly agree with whatyou guys said about jill, that all she does is try to fit in even if it hurts me. so just thank you guys so much! this has helped monumently ! and btw im in 8th grade ;) and umh if i do loose sue or jill they will come crying back for help to me because they will realzie what a good freind i actually am! GOD BLESS YOU GUYS

7 Answers

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  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I had this EXACT issue last year! I lost my friend to popularity though. But everything gets worse before it gets better! AND everything that happens, happens for a reason. If "Sue" is doing this to you, then she isn't a true friend. As people grow and progress, a lot of the time, they change. It's not always what we want, but it's just what happens! If things don't get better with Sue and she continues to have this, "I'm better than you," attitude, then you honestly don't need her as a friend. Friend's are there to help you up, and keep you smiling, not to knock you down and place your mood down! Now, Jill. I think that she's just going with whatever makes her more noticed. Girls love to be noticed, and do whatever they can for attention most of the time! Jill probably just wants to fit in, not noticing how much it truly hurts you! To be honest, if Sue continues her attitude the way it is, you should not continue to try and mend then friendship. It'll lead to more hurt! I understand that having a best friend for that long, losing them is the worst. But in the end, they're the ones who realize how much you really meant and how horrible they treated you. My old best friend ended things with me a month before her birthday, but I still showed up to see her and give her flowers, because I told her I missed her. I didn't ask for our friendship back, I just simply let her know that I forgive her for the way I was treated and that I'm sorry for anything I did to hurt our friendship. Then she realized how much I did mean to her. And how good of a friend I was! Your friend will eventually do the same!! Good luck! Hope I helped!

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    It might be hard, but this might be a good chance to meet a few new people! Still be just as friendly to them, but try and talk to a few more people: open up your friendship circle a bit more. Wait for them to text you first, if they don't- don't even mention it but maybe hang out with someone different the next day?

    Me and my best friend were friends for about as long as you guys, and the exact same scenario happened pretty much. Instead of following them around and feeling excluded, give yourself some space from them. When I did this with my bestfriend she came to realise how close we were and wanted me back, and then the situation was completely reversed.

    If you don't want to do that, try and get really close to jill. I mean really close. Text her, ask to be partners with her sometimes just everything you would do with sue- to jill. If this works out for you, JIll will like you best, and you will have sue following after you guys- not the other way around.

    Overall I suggest doing the first one, as trying to get closer to JIll could put you at risk of losing Sue. Also, it would be much easier to try and make new friends; and better for you overall aswell! :)

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  • 8 years ago

    The same thing happened to me my eighth year with my child hood best friend. I'm not going to lie, you never really get over your best friend from grade school, but its something that everyone goes through. Your best option would be to make other friends and continuously hang out with 'Sue' and 'Jill' whenever you can. High school is a time where people change a lot to figure out who they are and who they want to be. She might want to be someone that doesn't involve you, but if she does, she will come back. I periodically talk to my old best friend, but I don't like who she became and I very much enjoy who I became. High school friends are exactly that, High school friends. Soon you will be off to college and working where there will be other people that you will become closer to than you ever thought imaginable. Do the best you can to keep her close, but don't be afraid to let her go.

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  • 8 years ago

    This sounds normal. As people grow up they hang out with different people and click with some more than others. I remember my neighbors we would hang out during weekends but while we were in school we don't even talk. I remember at some point I always have a different friend per class. Just relax, you'll have more friends and these two will become closer to you at some point in time again.

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    I remember my neighbors we would hang out during weekends but while we were in school we don't even talk. I remember at some point I always have a different friend per class.

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  • 8 years ago

    this normal, u should stop textin her and maybe hang out with ur other friends and let sue have some space and maybe like give her a week or 2 and see wat happens when u try talkin to her

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  • 8 years ago

    Tell her how you feel! If she's your true friend, she'll come back to you :)

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