Penis burnt in horrific toaster accident! What do I do?

Question

So, I had sex with my toaster today, while wearing a condom. The condom kinda melted, fusing to my penis. It also fused to the toaster, so I can't pull it out. The toaster pretty much incinerated my penis, so now I have a third-degree burned appendage of scar tissue with latex melted into the burns, which is...

Answer 1

cut it off and apply for a new one

Answer 2

Call Dr Pedobear hes an expert in this area

Answer 3

Scrape off the burn parts and spread some butter on it.

Answer 4

I heard saliva helps, try sucking it. If that doesn't work, shoving it up your *** always does the trick for my grandpa.

Answer 5

Put some butter and jelly on it and you will feel better in no time.

Answer 6

put it in a hotdog bun and pour some ketchup on it and eat it