Writers block I need help with this poem?

I'm trying to write a poem. About how "numb" I am and how happy I act. I guess aha but I can't get past this part and I'm trying to rhyme.And I'm thinking about calling it two faced but that name sucks so whats a good name for it.

She's alone but she doesn't care

she sits there with a(n) blank stare

Her life so empty

She's beyond dispair

Then I was thinking of a way to say how I try to remember the feelings I used to feel and what my reactions will be to what other people say. People usually admire how happy and uneffected I am by tramatic events. Anyone have any ideas of how to make it better

Update:

Well there's no more pain she has none to share...

Update 2:

BTW I don't really abuse my self I don't cut because blood is inside for a reason (I don't want to die or anything) I really wonder if I exsist but then "I think therefore I am" kinda gets to me then i'm like so i am but I don't feel like it you know .

Update 3:

AND its aaba right now isn't it and aabaa with that new line. Just saying

3 Answers

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  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    we'll your talking basically from an outside perspective so far, try and keep it that, as if you're a fly on the wall. Perhaps it's because she's grown up and can't return to those feelings, perhaps its because she's lost something (which it seems to be), or whatever, try and focus to that theme.

    You do a good job showing the despair of her and leaving it mysterious keep that up. Perhaps talk more about the despair, you have good imagery and a dark undertone, just keep it there. maybe how she abuses herself because of it

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    the hardest thing abt a poem is making it rhyme.. N ur structure is kinda common. Ur using abab.. Try maybe lines like ab gf ab gf. Concentrate on expressing ur feelings in the most gramatically correct manner n nt so much on rhyming.. Tht can come later

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  • 8 years ago

    ...she hides her pain thinking why should I share?

    Source(s): Idk... Reminiscence
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