twenty years age gap relationship?

I've been seeing and talking to this guy, James, for about two months. I am 18 (turning 19 in October) and he is 38. He's extremly active and adventurous. We have similiar views on life and great conversations. Sometimes over the phone when we call just for a quick ten minute chat, it ends up being four hours of nonsense. When we first met I thought he was lying about his age because he seems ten years younger. But no, he wasn't. I asked why he was single, because he's a realy amazing person. He said he had a gf for a long time but they broke up because of different wants and needs. He used to be a Navy SWO. I was skeptical of a lot of things because I grew up with a deadbeat, pathological lying father and I always put my guard up around older men. But he showed me all the pictures and photo albums of everything when we went to his apartment. The last guy I dated wanted and expected me to get married and have children with him within two years, I upped and left. Because I can't have children and don't want them I got scared. James understood, he had a vasectomy and that's one of the things that broke him and his gf apart. Though we're 20 years apart it realy doesn't feel like it. My mother and stepfather are 20 years apart and are very happy. I know the bad attributes of being in a large age gap relationship like taking care the older one when ill and elderly and being left alone when they pass. But I forget about them every time he's with me. What do you think of my situation?

Update:

He doesn't have any children and has never been married.

4 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago
    Best Answer

    You're 18, you can do what you want - be sure you're not attracted to him because of your stated daddy issues, but really - you're almost an adult, and you're legally allowed to date whoever you want. Who cares what people think? I would be more concerned for him - because in the next 5 years or so you're going to change a lot, you're going to become more of an adult. If I got myself into a long term scenario like that when I was your age I'd be divorced by now - the guy I dated when I was 18 is nothing like the guy I'm about to marry at 31 - people grow up and change - your guy is now old enough that he will probably stay the same - but you won't. So if I were you, I'd follow my heart, but hold off on getting into anything binding like marriage until you're at least 23-25- if you two are still together by then, then decide on that with more confidence.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    look up the word infatuation and see if it describes what you currently feel, if its dating for now then yea but keep in mind the age difference and think about where you will be in 10 years if you marry the guy, he will be into retirement and you will be working your *** off to maintain the both of you, enjoy the dating relationship while your young, if you have sex dont get knocked up, your just now starting in life theres still more for you to see and do in life.

  • 8 years ago

    yeah i would not do it besides he is breaking a code by talking to you..you do realize he is old enough to be your father and not to be mean but think why would a forty year old man be talking to a 18 year old that sounds creepy, suspicious, and desperate, he knows how to woo you and make you feel all special i Strongly Advice Not To do it

    Source(s): Common Sense
  • 8 years ago

    if yall make each other happy then go for it

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