Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 8 years ago

Why wont my parents let me date? (experienced teenagers and parents plz)?

I just dont get why i cant. My mom would let me, but my dad wont. We always fight about. Ill be 14 in 2 months!!!! Its nothing religious. And its not like id go on an actual date. Just like a whole title thing. And like we cud hangout together with other friends on weekends.

It soo irritating. Bcuz im soooo ready. Ive had to turn down alot of guys. I turned down the boy i was in "puppy love" with in 5th grade, and others since. The no dating rule also causes me a lot of problems, bcuz wen i flirt, im afraid to get too serious, bcuz if

they ask me out i have to say no. My dad also wants to meet the guy.... Im like wtf! Its not that serious. How awkward on a scale of 1-10 wud it be for a 13yo guy to meet my dad? Hes black, and kind of intimidating(im biracial, half blak half white :) )

For other teenagers:

What would u do? Or how did u convince your parents?

For parents:

what are u afraid of? Whats so wrong with dating if its only a title (for now)?

And wuts wrong with my dad, why cant i?

Of course ive thot about doing it behind there back, but my parents really trust me, and i dont want to ruin it.

Any stories, ideas, or suggestions help.

Thankz!

Ps. Ive also given my parents an ultimatum, i said nxt year, i am going to date, permission or no permission. I did this so im not lying about dating, but i will still date without permission.

36 Answers

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  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    ooh this is my kinda question :)

    STORY:

    sooo i know these parents who are super overprotective about dating and I mean SUPER SUPER. Super as in very. their daughter wasn't allowed to date until like last year, and she's 18. The only reason she is allowed now is because she pretty much threw a temper tauntrum about how she's old enough and everything and they can't stop her because she's an 'adult.' (she really can be whiny sometimes) but anyways you most definitely shouldn't do that. And props for not wanting to go behind your parents back; I happen to know someone who did that since like middle school and i would feel like poo if i did that.

    REASONS:

    You're parents are just trying to protect you. (going into inspirational but annoying talk...) They do love you and everything but they want to keep you from having sex...awkward...and yeah. You sound like the type of girl who's smart enough to wait anyway. You're mom probably knows that; that's why she allows dating. And moms (cool ones) understand dating and feelings because they're the same gender as you are and know what you're going through. Dads on the other hand happen to be the same gender as boys and know what THEY'RE going through to. Which is exactly why yours prohibits dating. ;)

    SUGGESTIONS:

    What you need to do is show you're dad what you're mom already knows. You're smart enough not to 'do it.' (hopefully. use that smartness. at least wait, girl!) You said you'll be going on group dates anyway, right? No biggie. Tell him about that. Let him meet the guy too. It could be with a bunch of friends over. Easy. Understand that he just wants to get to know him, make sure he's not a hoodlum or anything lol. If he trusts you enough, and you've built up your relationship to a good place, it should work out fine. Eventually he could cave and allow you to date. Be optimistic! And don't give up! (cheesy, right? queso-ey! sorry i'm weird.)

    Sorry for the long answer, but you DID give a long question! haha

    Good luck :)

    Best answer...? Thanks!

    Source(s): wow i wrote a lot. oh...my source? um...my brain? yes.
  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    It's because legitimately..they care

    you're very young, this would be an issue if you're 18 or so but you're still a child and to a parent seeing their child come home heartbroken or pregnant would be a nightmare..more than you know. You're parents were kids once, they know how it is and your father knows how ..'animalistic' guys can be at this age (by animalistic I really mean horny LOL)

    and what's wrong if your boyfriend met your father? it's going to happen eventually if it's a serious relationship..I don't mean to sound like a joy-killer (hey, I'm 17) but you do sound like you aren't mature enough to have a boyfriend

    besides, ever notice relationships in highschool don't ever last long? Some do, but the majority is just a few months. Try just remaining friends with the guy you're interested with..test how long your friendship will last. If you two remain friends till after highschool..congrats, tell your parents, and get married :D

    Source(s): Myself. Best of luck!
  • Nicole
    Lv 6
    8 years ago

    They just care about you a lot. It's hard to understand at your age. Relationships are filled with stress and happiness. But also, when two people start dating eventually one or possibly both of them are going to want to go to the next level if you know what I mean. They just want the best for you and they want you to enjoy life. Trust me, a relationship isn't all peaches and cream. It can be quite irritating sometimes and sometimes it can affect your grades and your life too. But I also understand that you really want to experience having a boyfriend as well. Though, if you do date.. don't do it just for the title. Do it because you like them. Playing with people's emotions is not a good idea. But in all honesty, your parents shouldn't have a say when you start dating. They can make suggestions and offer you their opinions about things, but they shouldn't stop you from dating who you desire. I know I'll get thumbs downs for saying that but the way I see it, yeah they gave you life and they took care of you but if you truly like someone, you shouldn't turn them down because your parents said you can't date. They'll say that you're young and all that but that doesn't mean you don't have feelings for people. Just whatever you do, don't turn into a sl*t.

  • 8 years ago

    I know you think this sucks but you are 13 so it's not like you are missing out on having a real relationship. Wait until high school. I tried dating in middle school and it was so ******* stupid. Nobody is mature enough at that age, and I know you disagree but once I got to high school I literally changed over night and became a completely different person and everyone could see how different I became. What if that happened when you were in a dating a guy? There's like no way you guys would last after that.

    I think your dad is wrong to not let you date because you should be learning this stuff first hand instead of having to just listen to random people online but being single is so under rated and you should just enjoy the freedom of flirting with different guys than have to stick with just one.

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  • Gloria
    Lv 4
    8 years ago

    Let me tell you something here (you probably won't like it), but at 14 you shouldn't be dating. hanging out and getting to know people as friends is just fine, but believe me, all of the people that are telling you that they are protecting you are 100 percent serious. I've been there. When I was 14 I was in the same place, and my parents held firm and wouldn't let me "date", and I was stupid and I cried and tried to manipulate them into letting me, but I am 100 percent glad that nothing I did wavered them in their decision because they DID know what was best for me, and they WERE protecting me, and I can see how their protection has made me a stronger and better person, and I have so much less emotional damage than most people these days because my parents were strong in their decisions and now I can see things for what they are, and I am the wiser for it. So parents are there to protect you and you should let them. You may not regret it right now if you go against them, but you WILL regret it later in life. So obey your parents and trust them to let you go when you are truly ready! They were once your age too, ya know! Good luck :)

  • 8 years ago

    if it aint an actual date why do you insist on calling it a date!?

    besides that a "date" is seriously not something youngsters should do since its implys that you are all grown up (which isnt possible with your current age)

    also if your father want to meet the guy your dating, hanging out with, spending alot of time with etc. so what?

    its normal, fathers are like that, after all you will be his "little girl" for years to come and its a fathers duty to protect and take care of his family and fathers, believe or not tend to be exellent judges of character.

    now im a guy so i didnt have major problems but here is how it went with my parents.

    i sat down with them and said that i was seeing a girl whom i care alot about, and we are beyond friends at this point, then i was asked how long i had been seeing here and what we had been doing together, and i answered every question with honesty even though it wasnt alll to their liking, and guess what, they had no objections agains it.

    btw i'll be 18 in a few months so im using the terms "youngsters" and "all grown up" loosely

  • Ricky
    Lv 4
    8 years ago

    Listen to your parents, at least until you get to high school. Trust me dating at 14 isn't that great. Actually dating all together can really suck. Dealing with heartbreak, rejection and confusion isn't fun. And those are the things that come along with dating. When you are older you'll be able to handle those hard emotions better and have a better sense of judgement when it comes to boys. Cuz' their are a LOT of guys that will just use you and take advantage of you and you won't know because your too young to tell. Just have fun with friends and school! I wish I could go back to my 14 year old self and tell her to stop being so worried about boys and dating. It isn't that great when you're young and can't drive, don't have money, too young to be getting intimate with one another.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    same story my cousin.. C is very gud in studies and always secures first.. There were some guys who liked her alot.. But as her parents were too strict.. They don't let her date wit anyone.. So, now not even a single turn towards her so deja, even though your parents don't agree u break out and start dating with the one u like or u will have to suffer someday and don't care for the colour because your intimidation will capatalize your faith in a wrong direction!

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    Listen to your parents!!!!!

    A lot of teens out there date and end up getting heartbroken, end up having sex and getting pregnant, end up with some STD. It's all foolish childish games. Those teenage boys don't love you, they just want sex. They're not going to be with you 5 to 10 years from now...You will end up giving your body to several of them and in the long run, maybe when you're in your 20s and 30s, you'll think back and feel like crap. You don't need boys for now!!! Are your parents married? won't you like to be like them? You should be mature first and give yourself to only the person you marry. A word is enough for the wise.

  • 8 years ago

    The reason your mom is okay with you dating is because she realizes that your a teenager with hormones and that dating is a natural thing. However, your father understands how men work and knows that they just want to have a physical relationship with you. As children, dating only represents the permission to have physical contact. Trust me, there's no real reason to have a relationship at your age but to become ready for future relationships. As a guy, I know that most guys just want to be physically intimate, and don't expect to last forever with you.

    But, if you really want to have a relationship with someone, it's your choice, not theirs. So, just realize that any emotional scars will be your fault. Don't blame the way "all" men are, your parents, or anyone but yourself.

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