Social anxiety help please?
I am ready to get help for my social anxiety because it is preventing me from getting a job, stopping me from being in a relationship and has a big impact on my uni work. I am too scared to go to uni most of the time and if I do go I can't concentrate because I think everyone is judging me. To make things worse, most of my assignments are group based. I emailed the counselling service that my university provides around 2 weeks ago and they said that they will email me with an appointment but they haven't. I phoned them up and they said that they are fully booked and they are not sure when I can have an appointment. I phoned up the doctors and the next appointment isn't till after the 20th March was is too late because the deadlines for my assignments would have gone. I want to pass uni my I doubt I will due to my anxiety.
What should I do?
- Anonymous8 years agoBest Answer
You can beat this! I beat my extreme shyness in junior high and high school. I'll give you my story, and if you get some books at the library, pick a program for yourself, and then DO IT, no matter how afraid you are, you will get a LOT BETTER, and maybe completely cure yourself, as I have. I am still an introvert, but not shy. My standard answer to people with social anxiety is below.
I think pills are a poor answer to shyness - antidepressants turn out they are probably just placebo treatment anyhow (google antidepressants kirsch and antidepressants ioannidis) and the drug companies jiggered the data to make it LOOK like their pills help stuff. They cause wonderful side effects, the best one being that you can't have sex anymore, which affects most people. So folks won't stay on them, but when they quit after a few months of intense frustration in relationships, they go into withdrawal, because a person's brain ADAPTs to the drug & may be permanently changed (no one knows!) Benzos are a bad deal, because they are addictive, only work for awhile, then you get a lot of tolerance to them, and again, you go thru withdrawal that can be really awful. they also cause memory problems, which is a problem especially if you are a student.
Social anxiety is really just shyness. The term social anxiety disorder used to be reserved for people with the most severe problems. After the drug companies marketed their antidepressants for this problem, the definition expanded, so now people who are just shy are taking pills for something folks used to LEARN how to deal with.
My teachers thought I was mentally retarded in first grade, and again in 4th grade, because I never spoke. So you can conclude I was pretty darned shy.
Here's what I did to overcome shyness. I did a couple of plays in junior high school, competetive debate and speech in high school, lectored at my very large catholic church in college, and ran a club of 200 people where I regularly had to get up in front of about 50 people at monthly meetings. I coached debate. I went to graduate school and was a TA for labs of about 20 students. I faked it until I made it - people can't tell I'm shy anymore, and in fact, I am much less shy.
So find some activities where you have to FORCE yourself to speak up, and then DO it, no matter how afraid you are. Truth is, most people are terrified of speaking up in groups. I was a high school debate coach - most of those kids of mine were terrified!! Also do some confidence building things. For me, a HUGE confidence builder was camping out under the stars in Minnesota in January - it was 20 below zero F. I froze my buns off & didn't get a lot of sleep, but hey! I did it! I feel like if I could do that, i could do anything. Competitive extracurriculars are big confidence builders too.
"Social anxiety" is a kind of phobia - and "exposure therapy" is the way to cure a phobia - "gradual desensitization," where you gradually expose yourself to more and more intense situations, but start off easy, or "flooding" where you jump right in with both feet, which is what I did. You can only be terrified for an hour or two, then you run out of adrenaline and calm down quite a bit.
all the best to you! You have to screw up your courage and face your fear - that is what a phobia is, when a person avoids the situation or object that they are afraid of. COURAGE - that's the ticket, and then it will get easier as you keep practicing. It's ok to be afraid.
- 4 years ago
Using herbal remedies along with making lifestyles changes, finding support, and practicing relaxation techniques can help make your anxiety more manageable. Learn here https://tr.im/EndPanicAttacks
Everyone experiences some form of mild anxiety in their everyday life. However, people with anxiety disorders frequently experience intense, excessive, and persistent fears and worries in regards to everyday situations. These feelings of anxiety, which can start early in life and can continue into adulthood, interfere with daily activities.
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- Lynn HentyLv 68 years ago
valium as needed will help, an antidepressant may help and should be tried, see any doctor for these