Anonymous asked in Society & CultureMythology & Folklore · 9 years ago

Did I turn my boyfriend into a vampire? ?

Ok so i have a new boyfriend *yay* and we have been seeing each other for about a month now :P

anyway, the other night we had a twilight marathon (i LOVE twilight) and a dream of mine is to have a vampire boyfriend!

I've been experimenting with eating my own blood ever since the twilight books first came out- i consider myself to be a vampire now- i usually just save the blood i lose naturally each month (i usually just keep the tampons in the freezer etc.) and suck on them or eat them later.

I decided that i would try and "turn" my new boyfriend. So i've been cooking my blood into his food when he comes over- i tried making blood pudding as well, but that only works if i've had a heavy flow (you need ALOT of blood)- so i usually just add a little bit of blood into the marinade or pasta sauce etc. etc. He has absolutely no idea :P

i've been doing this for about 3-4 weeks- do you think he could be a vampire by now?

115 Answers

  • Favorite Answer

    1. Vampires, defined as a humanoid that MUST consume blood or energy to survive do not exist. Cut and paste time, as it is too much work to type this out over and over and I “recycle” my own answers instead of retyping them.

    2. The human body is not designed to process blood for nutrition. There is not enough protein, carbohydrates, and fats present in blood to maintain a complex creature such as Homo Sapiens or any theorized offshoot mutations. When a human ingests food it is broken up into a bolus by chewing, then churned up in the stomach with digestive juices to form a mass called chyme. It then passes through the pylorus into the duodenum, part of the small intestine where it mixes with bile salts and secretions from the pancreas and liver which continue breaking it down on a molecular basis. The broken down nutrients pass through the wall of the intestines and into the bloodstream where they are carried to each cell or stored for later use. Indigestible bulk continues through the intestines, turning a dark brown from the bile.

    3. A person physically unable to process his own food for nutrition therefore also could not process blood – it’s the same process. Ingested blood does not transmit directly to the veins anyway – it would be chemically broken down by the digestive system.

    4. Theoretical ingestion of blood to supply these nutrients would therefore have to occur at least once a day, and would require the ingestion of the entire blood supply which could not happen as the stomach is far too small to hold that much liquid volume. Hold up your clenched fist – under normal conditions your stomach is about that size. Furthermore, such a mass would be difficult to pass thru the intestines as it has no fibrous bulk, would create an intestinal impaction, causing massive vomiting from the large concentration of iron present, and any “real” vampire would have to eventually expel the waste, which would come out as a black, tarry, smelly goo, just as stool does when blood is present from a upper GI bleed.

    5. Even if a vampire feeds once a week, and his victim also becomes a vampire, that is exponential growth, with 4 iterations a month. 1st iteration: 1 makes 1, total 2. 2nd iteration: 2 make 2, total 4. 3rd iteration: 4 make 4, total 8. 4th iteration: 8 make 8, total 16. 16 vampires at the end of 1 month, 256 at the end of the 2nd month, 4096 by the end of the 3rd month, 65,536 by the end of the 4th month, 1,048,476 at the end of the 5th, and 33,572,832 vampires at the end of half a year! Do the math – vampires are a mathematical impossibility.

    6.The humans who profess to be vampires are victims of an all-encompassing self induced delusion. They are as human as you or I, regardless of their claims. Note that there is absolutely no scientific or medical proof that these people derive any benefit at all from the ingestion of blood, and even worse are the so-called “psychic” vampires, because their delusion is one that they cannot substantiate with any concrete evidence at all.

    7. There is no “vampire” gene. People are not “born” as vampires. When a woman goes to the hospital for prenatal care there are many tests done on mother and child, even while still in the womb, to check for many things, including genetic anomalies that result in deformities and birth defects. If such a gene existed, in today’s world with today’s technology it would have been found – we have already completely sequenced the human genome. It would also have to follow Mendel’s law of dominant/recessive gene theory. Again, the odds on that many “vampires” all escaping the notice of the medical/scientific community are so low as to be almost nonexistent. The idea that there is a global “vampire community” engaging in controlled breeding to keep the “bloodline pure” is delusional in the extreme.

    Source(s): No matter what people tell you, so-called “vampires” cannot drain you psychically, cannot gain supernatural nourishment from blood, and are not in any way shape or form “energy deficient”. Humans do not give off prana, chi, the Force, or anything else that so-called “psy vamps” say they feed on. These are lies of the “vampire community” with absolutely no evidence to back them up, and are used in order to give their fantasies pseudo-legitimacy to people who are gullible enough to swallow this tripe hook, line, and sinker. ANYONE who tells you such things are “real” is either living in a fantasy, lying through their teeth, has mistaken autonomic biofeedback adrenaline/endorphin release for “draining”, or are caught up in a delusion bordering on mental illness. Drinking blood is a behavior of choice, not one of physiological necessity. I’m a Nurse, real education, real experience
  • 4 years ago

    You're lucky I'm not your boyfriend, because if I was.... oh man, now you will see what a real vampire looks like. I can't believe it! Somewhere on this planet, a girl is feeding blood period to her boyfriend and people call me weird?

    Seriously lady, don't do that. You will never be a vampire!

  • 5 years ago

    Your boyfriend can become very sick mixing blood especially if you don't have the same blood type. This is very dangerous. You also have to understand vampires aren't real (sorry to burst your bubble) but honestly if you were him and he was you, would you want him feeding you period blood? Also, the producers of twilight would not want an outcome like this. I mean that blood is not clean! It's coming from down there. I'm sorry but that is very gross and you could get into some serious trouble. Your poor boyfriend.

  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    I hope this is a joke, but if it isn't you are sick. I never thought I would find a reason for a man to hit a woman but I hope he found out and hits you hard. You deserve it. For you to for a bf of a month to eat your period blood is truly sick and disgusting. He could get really sick(and you can too) but its clear you don't care about anybody but yourself.

    Even in Vampyre subculture they don't eat period blood or force somebody to eat it. If you continue your delusion then you will end up all alone. Your own family may disown you and nobody would blame them. Or at least have you admitted into an asylum. To take a book and movie that's badly written and acted that far is a sign that you are a danger to everybody you are around. A piece of **** that should be forcibly sterilized. You are an excellent argument for eugenics, sadly. Do everybody a favor and move to a place where you are nowhere near any person, and become a hermit.

    I hope this is a troll and a joke, but if not good luck with electric shock therapy. You need it.

    Source(s): Common sense
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  • 5 years ago

    Um idk if you kno this but there's this thing call cosplay (period blood not included) where you can have a half dinosaur lawyer as your bf (person in costume) and fulfil whatever fantasies the 2 consenting adults choose to do. Poisoning a bf (new or old) with period popsicle blood is heinous. Just like spitting in someone's mouth or anywhere. I hope you go on amazon and buy vampire cosplay. The guy will probly AGREE with no poisoning necessary. If you actually a vamp person thing you would no this. Your theory and methodology is wrong and will always be wrong.

    Moral of the story, BUY with REAL money a cosplay outfit. Then do all the crazy things your heart desires with a consenting partner

    Source(s): Elementary logic
  • 4 years ago

    No you boyfriend isn't a vampire nor are you, you sick twisted revolting young one, I assume you are young because anyone over 25 with half a brain would do something so devious. Did you everything that your poor boyfriend might not want to be a vampire and what if your sick plan worked? Did you ever thing how he would feel about it? No you selfish cow!!!

  • 6 years ago

    Sadly no. You need vampire blood. The only way he can turn into a vampire is if he drinks vampire blood , and the vampire drinks his. So yeah. And you're not a vampire either , sorry . Well unless you mean like just blood sucking or well eating in your case , then techincall you'd be a vampire , i suppose.

  • 6 years ago

    Okay lady, I REALLY hope this question is just a joke, because that is some weird-*** ****. If this is real, then I feel terrible for the poor boy you've done this to. You have no right to put your period blood in his food! If he finds out what your doing, he could probably take you to court. And all because you want him to be a vampire. Listen up buddy, no matter how many times you eat your disgusting vag blood, you will never be a vampire. Hear that? You are NOT a vampire. He NEVER be a vampire. There are NO vampires. Period. End of conversation. They do not exist. Twilight is a FICTIONAL book written by an author who writes FICTIONAL stories. If this is real, then dear god do you need help. See a psychologist ASAP.

    Source(s): Common Sense
  • 7 years ago

    Okay, first of all: Twilight is bullshit.

    Vampires are living, demonic corpses who'll try and steal your soul and turn you into a slave of them... Not some creep who sparkles and is into teen girls (which are technically a different species...bestiality)

    Second of all... Go to an asylum please because mixing blood (period blood no less, which is basically old rotten egg cells... yech) into food is a sign of being a psychopath. As is said before, vampires are evil... And because they generally (except the "head vampire" who is the one to become a vampire by natural causes AKA death and uses the bitten as slaves) have no free will they won't suddenly turn good and start dating you. Vampires also (don't laugh) in some cases lack genitals because they don't need them in their post-deathic state (post-deathic... yeah)

    Wanting to become a vampire requires one of these happenings (according to legend):

    If an animal jumps over a corpse it has a chance to become a vampire

    If a witch or man against church dies he'll become a vampire

    Another method was burying a corpse upside down or burying it with an item such as a scythe or sickle.

    Luckjes has now left the building to fight stupid edwardcullen related vampire hatecrimes and evil supervillains for yet another day

    Source(s): Wikipedia; My own knowledge of Myths
  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    UMM..... did you learn mythology because 1 your not a vampire just because you drink blood 2 vampires aren't like twilights version because they are not completely emotion less(but actaul vampires have a higher chance of this) dont sparkle 3 you cant become a vampire (i don't think) you are born one from ethier chance (extremely low) or your reletives are one and no you cant be half human half vampire your one or the other if one is and one isn't a vampire you may be human but your child may be a vampire 4 the only way to BECOME ONE is to awaken(lots of vampires dont realize they are one) as one or drink a vampires blood (but you'll be their eternal slave and have no free will)

  • 4 years ago

    Oh my god you are the creepiest of creeps. You have no idea how crazy this is. You could give him diseases! Oh my god you nutty dingle. You've probably heard this 1000 times before but I'm going to say it again. VAMPIRES DO NOT EXIST. You are crazy and could be characterized as a psycho path. No he will not become a vampire but he may be infected with whatever brain disease you obviously have because you're nuts. I hope this was put up as a joke.

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