Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 9 years ago

Does my mum mentally abuse me? is what she says my fault?x?

My mum and dad decided they were going to get a devorce and I don't want to live with my mum because she doesn't really like me. Today is the 15th of february and on the 9th of december she told me she didn't love me. She adores my little brother and sister and is so close to them but I'm more of a daddys girl because he loves me to bits. My mum blames me for them getting a devorce saying that I split them up and its all my fault because I would tell my dad what a ***** she was and wisper in his ear to devorce her (which I didn't and don't) she says she'll never forgive me. My dad says its nothing to do with me but I'm beginning to believe my mum. She makes me feel really isolated and alone because my dad works so much and when my mum is upset with me she turns my brother and sister against me. I honestly feel like she bullies me and I hate being at home. I honestly don't see the point of living anymore. I have amazing friends who support me so much and they don't like my mum anymore because of how she treats me. I feel so depressed and she humiliates me in public and treats me like an idiot. Please give your opinions ERGENTLY. Much love xxxxx

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  • Favorite Answer

    Live with your dad. Your mother should have her parental rights terminated by the state. That is sooo abusive.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Hi, mums are to guide you. They are our examples of how to be, our mirrors. Dad and mum model relationships and your model is ...not healthy, sounds toxic. Seems a common dysfunction and I worry you don't get chronically depressed. Maybe if you understand why she is so hateful, it may help a bit.

    Your mum sounds like she has no idea what to do with her anger and pain about her messed up relationship. She has no idea what she did to contribute to the break up. She can't handle knowing anything negative about herself so she blames you and projects her anger at you. She can't stand her pain of your dad be close to you but not to her. She is clutching at your brother and sister. It's not good for them to listen to all that crap and turn them against you. They miss out on a relationship with you as you do with them. Your mum may be scared of you 3 finding out she is not perfect and keeps you apart. It also gives her excuse to blame for the divorce. It's how she's been brought up. The family sacrifices someone to blame stuff on. Her relationships are NOT your responsibility.

    My answer is that your mum excludes you from her love and you need to tell her how you feel. WRITE her a letter. Yes her behaviour is abusive but she doesn't sound aware of it. Do not to blame yourself for her crap. Go to counselling, they will explain it and tell you practical options.

    Hang in there, much love back to you xxxx

    Source(s): personal experience
  • 9 years ago

    well dear Aofie!! I'm really sorry to read your story and i feel sorry for you .and i've known sbdy whoes mum just like yours, so what you have to do is not to be upset any more, and to avoid her when she is upset .and when she will ever talk to you talk to her politly so by the time she will realise that she is worng about you. and about blaming you she is depressed and she want to make all the fault on sbdy to feel butter so believe me she really love you and maybe she love you more than the others,that is why she blame you caz she feel that you are the best to her heart.so just be patent.

  • 9 years ago

    Ask your dad to start taking you to a counselor or go to your school counselor and talk to him/her. You need to start getting things documented...

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