To talk to my dad after 19 years or not ?

My dad walk out when I was 2 and only saw 5 times in my life 3 weekend dad he came to

Get my brother and day he came to take my sister I did not talk to my bro intill last year I stop talk to my sister 3 years ago my brother is making me pick lossing him or talking to my dad. I feel dad should have tryed talking to me I'm 21 now what to do. Don't want to loss my bro but yet I will hurt my mum if I do I hate my dad do badly help pliz

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    this was very hard to read, you didnt punctuate your letter very well......

    You set everyone else aside in matters of family. What do you want?

    it doesnt matter what they want, as time goes on you will part ways to some extent, and your relationship with your father has nothign to do with them. You sit and decide what you want to do. if you want to know your father, which is normal, then you take the lead and call him or email him or go visit him....and you do what your soul tells you to do. Always be respectful......

    When a couple find they cannot live together, one always leaves on their own. We all make mistakes...especially when we are young. Somtimes men think they are hated and they feel it best to move on and hide. I would take the time to meet with him if he will allow, and get to know him and make your OWN choice,. You be respectful as it says...

    thou shalt honor thy father and thy mother

    so...honor him and make the advance to meet him...if you two strike up a friendship...great and dont worry about family and how they feel.....sometimes we have to throw away loved one to get to know a family memeber....so be it

    you do what is right...................its time to know your father if he will allow.

    if he doesnt bow out graciously....and show him how wonderful you have become. never cuss at him..never say a crude word...because someday he will be at your door if you show him how wonderful you are...someday when he grows older...he will come back

    he has sores too that need healing...if he needs time..give it to him...

    we never know what goes on between a man and woman in marriage and maybe its not his fault.

    dont worry about your sister or brother....you just take the lead as an adult now...and do what is right

    jean

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Yes. Try talking to your dad. Because no matter how much you hate him he is your dad. One day he will be gone and you will never even know him. My dad walked out on me before I could even remember. 11 years went by and I thought about how one day my dad could be gone and I didn't even know anything about him. I called him up and now I live with him and not my mom. I love my dad and even though I don't understand why he left me he loves me now and I love him. By the way you should spell better. I am only 12 and you don't really make sense.

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    that's a demanding concern yet you do could desire to stand at the back of your husband. She is an grownup and if she desires to be on her very own then she does could desire to be on her very own. i'm 24 & left my discern's residing house at 19 (on good words however) & I did superb. i could purely clarify to him that u at the instant are not picking factors or validating her strikes by using talking to her yet that what she is doing is her determination & u could desire to understand that. showing her love by using those situations is what is going to realize her & the perfect way u can do this's by using being a pal. the perfect way he can do this's using using letting her bypass w/ no reprecussions & showing her love whilst he can. she can't be forces to alter or to artwork on her issues, she has to choose to. Anger & forcefulness is purely going to alienate her greater. be at liberty to get with me if i can b of any further help. good success!

  • joeyc
    Lv 6
    9 years ago

    I think it is really unfair for your brother and mother to put you in such a difficult situation. Your brother is giving you an ultimatum, him or your father, that is so wrong. Then your mother will be hurt if you don't talk to your father.

    This is a situation you have to personally consider what YOU want, and what is best for YOU. Put your family's feelings aside, and do what is best for you. This is a decision only you can make.

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  • 9 years ago

    See the poison people give to relationships that could have been better? Parents fighting each other and using their children as weapons comes to this nearly every time. If you never give your father a chance to give his side of the story, evil might win. If he is truly bad and undeserving a relationship with you, you need to see this for yourself.

    The way you write it seems you have never been educated. I won't go so far as to lay the blame on your father for that, but some people take that sort of thing as a "badge" to wear declairing themselves a victim forever. They never heal. They never succed at relating with others. They abuse themselves with this.

  • 9 years ago

    Ultimately, it comes down to what you feel and want. However, what do you have to lose by just sitting down and talking to him? You have every right to be mad at him. Just be open and honest with him about how this has made you feel. And this gives him the chance to explain his side of the story too. If things do not go well, then end it.

  • Wolf
    Lv 4
    9 years ago

    You never know his side of the story.

    I say yes, try to cultivate a relationship with him. You would feel really bad (I think) if he died next week and you NEVER got a chance to talk to him...

    All you can do is your part, the rest is up to him.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Your 21 and you spell like a 10 year old..?

  • Sonny
    Lv 5
    9 years ago

    Please do not consider your brothers or mothers feelings in this matter. Ask your own heart what you want and follow those feelings. Your feelings and your life are what is important.

    Good luck.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    He is your father. if it wasn't for him you wouldn't be here.

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