My mom is making me go to my grandma's 'viewing' thing?

So my grandma died last night and my mom says we have to go to a thing where we all stand around and look at the dead body or something? I told her I was busy I wanted to hang out with my friends and go see the vow and that I already had plans so I couldn't make it. My mom got all upset and started crying. WTF MOM. I mean I get that your mom died but like, why do I have to go? I never liked her, she was mean to me and always gave me crappy presents. Why should I have to cancel plans I already made to stand around a bunch of old people? I don't even think it's the funeral I think that's later.

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    It's something that people that have an inability to cope with death make others do. I've had to go to a dozen of these horrible things and there really isn't any way around it.

    The good news is that you only have to stand by the open casket for a few minutes, then go spend a half an hour downstairs (They're usually downstairs) in the Snack Room, then you can wander off and do as you please if you know someone with a car.

    It's a social obligation.

    I've had to go to wakes in place of other family that couldn't make it in to town... Like a few weeks ago I had to go to the wake for my father's best friend's wife's step-father's wake. (My father has been best friends with these people since like, the age of 6 so they're "Family" to me.) because my father was out of town on business and we had to represent our end of the 'Family', but still... It sucked because while I've grown up thinking of these people as family, I HATE wakes to begin with and they're not really actual family so it made it doubly uncomfortable for me... But I stayed down in the Snack Room with the other people that couldn't deal with being in the room with the body and we were able to talk of happy things and it ended up being a rather good "Social Gathering".

    NO ONE likes to go to wakes... NO ONE likes to look at the bodies of family and friends... But it's a religious thing for those that aren't allowed to cremate their bodies because of what they think their imaginary friend wants and it is respectful for the friends and family that are really feeling sad because they just lost a loved one.

    So go... Keep your mouth shut... Hug anyone that is crying... Then get out of there a.s.a.p.

  • ?
    Lv 5
    9 years ago

    Hello Brooke: I know how you feel, but this isn't about you, my young friend. This is about your mom losing her mom. I don't know how much you love or don't love your mom, but you need to go because she asked you to. That's what we do when somebody dies. You don't have to look at your grandma's body. There will be family there and you can visit. Ask your mom if you can leave after an hour or so? Maybe stay close to her and though you don't have to talk, she will appreciate you being there and standing by her. I hope you can get past this and know that you will have plenty of time to hang with your friends. If you have to go anyway, be nice and make it easier on yourself and be a comfort to your mom. She has feelings too.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Funerals and ceremonies after a person dies are for the living as much as the dead. Your mother needs you at this time to be with her. Try to look at it as doing it for your Mom,not your GM. It is a difficult thing to lose your mother. Think how you would feel if your mother died. Give your mother your love and support in her time of need. She has given you so much including this life with your friends that you seem to enjoy so much. This is a test of your value as a human being,is life all about you or is it about love and respect and caring about the people who you share your life with.

  • Casey
    Lv 6
    9 years ago

    Wow... you are a selfish, cold-hearted little brat. Even if you didn't like your grandmother, you should still go and be there for your mother. I mean, HER MOM JUST DIED. You can go to the movies and hang out with your other idiot friends another night. Go support your mom at the wake/calling hours. Think about someone other than yourself for 5 seconds. YOU are the kind of person that give teenagers a bad rep.

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    I understand that your really want to be with your friends, but please respect your mom. Who exactly made you you? Your mom did. Don't blame your mom that her mom dies (your grannie). Don't you feel bad when your mom cries? if you don't then i think you are very selfish. Without your grandma your mom wouldn't exist. Without your mom, would you be here right now, thinking about how awesome friends are and how lame a loss of a family member is? Thank you for showing a horrible example of a human being.

    It is so common to not like your grandma. But at least be there for your mom. I hope you realize what your doing, just to shorten everything up for you... :

    You are saying..... "Friends are so much more worth the time then a stupid family member that just dies. YAY SHE DIED!!!! I hope mom feels so much pain!!! Boy, I don't get why it's so important to have a grand ma. What ever did she do to me? NOTHING! (except for the fact that she made you EXIST.) Time to go to the movies!".

    I don't know anything about you, so i can't say your a bad human being. But please respect who did everything for you. Like really, do you love your mother?

  • 9 years ago

    Don't be mad at your mom, she's probably just really upset about her loss. Put yourself in her place, imagine your daughter doesn't like your mother. I fully agree with you not going to the viewing thing it's disturbing for you, going to the funeral should be enough but you should focus on giving your mom a better excuse like you don't feel comfortable seeing your dead grandmother's body and so on. but all she needs is your support right now. im sure your mother sacrificed a lot for you, so try and consider her feelings.

    Source(s): personal experience
  • 9 years ago

    Wow people like you disgust me!! You rather go to the stupid movies with your stupid friends to see a stupid movie instead of going to see your dead grandma. Who cares if she was mean to you and if she gave you crappy presents she is your grandma. You should be happy that you had a grandma cause I never got to see any of my grandmas or grandpas because they died when I was a baby. Your mom is in pain and all you care about is yourself. You are a selfish *****.

    Source(s): Me, Myself, and I.
  • ?
    Lv 5
    9 years ago

    Yes, the viewing is where you go to pay your RESPECT- something you need to learn A LOT about little girl.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    you've asked this question a few times already, how many grandmas of yours have died lately?

  • 9 years ago

    Its a social obligation. You must go..You're part of the family, you show up..period

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