Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 9 years ago

Trapped in relationship?

It's gonna be a bit long, but I have no one else to talk to and I really need help. I've been with this girl for almost 2 months. I know it's really early, but it was always a strange relationship, I never really understood her. She's really distant, some days she feels like talking to me, in others I just feel like a random stranger. Also we barely see each other, only once in a week for a maximum of 3 hours, and she doesn't really like going on dates, we usually meet at her house.

Her behavior intrigues me, and makes me suffer. 5 days ago she broke up with me, saying that she wasn't prepared for a relationship, and that I deserved something better. That made me feel terrible, I love her so much. But then, like, 10 hours later she called me, telling me that she wanted to go back and that she changed her mind. I thought, but I ended up accepting her back, I can't seem to be without her. Yesterday was valentine's day, I've managed to get her out of her house for the first time in months, and we had a nice date and exchanged gifts. But now she's acting distant again, and she told me we could only see each other 2 weeks from now. This really makes me suffer, I really love her. I feel like I'm trapped in this relationship, I feel like I can't really go on with it this way, but if I break up I will feel even worse. Rationality tells me to hold her until I find someone better, but I don't know, I can't stand suffering any longer. So that's why I'm here, asking for help, I'm starting to lose hope.

Update:

Sorry, I think i shouldve made it clearer. We know eachother for a really long time, and I always loved her since. We were just friends, only now ive managed to start this relationship. And yes, she has depression, she takes treatments for that. We already talked about this and the way she treats me before we broke up, and I think thats one of the reason why she did that. But why did she choose to come back?

5 Answers

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  • 9 years ago

    I think you should hold on. ANd START FINDING 10 other better ones. LIKE DUH.

    Its about insurance policies how many do you have?

    The moment you secure the other one, throw this RIGHT AWAY.

    Wth, its not fair what she's doing to you. and itsn ot like shes gonna be fair to you anyways,

    For all you know she is already seeing other guys behind your back and using all that depression as an excuse. her time is probably tied up by 10 other guys.

    Don't wait to find out. just go out there and do your thing. the search and the work, starts now.

    Cheers,

    God bless.

  • 9 years ago

    Let me tell you from experience, and save you/ make a couple of your years of life better. I went through the same thing as you, depressed girl, she would be distant, but then she somehow just knew what to say to keep me there. I continued this for years, being miserable and so on just because I was afraid of being single and facing the uncertainties of the world. You dating this girl is you facing your addiction, the longer you stay with her the harder and harder it is going to be to break up; until 2 years from now you just find yourself depressed and feeling like youre being dragged through the dirt in this relationship. I believe that youre just trying to discover love, and dont want to give up on that belief. It can be kinda tough being single, but look at it as a time where you are figuring yourself out and what you want; you have now learned one type of girl you can't be with. Its hard to accept, but this world is full with many life changing experiences, and you WILL meet that girl one day. Just dont destroy a good chunk of your life on this girl like I once did. Listen to me and dont follow in my shoes!

  • Nancy
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    It's really very wrong to hold onto someone until you find someone "better."

    What is it you like so much about her that you want to let yourself get so hurt?

    She sounds immature and like she is possibly using you. Do you really want that?

    There are all kinds of painful things in life that you have to go through and breaking up is one of them. You will probably date and break up with lots of women before you find the right one.

    But two months is not long enough to really love someone, particularly since it seems she doesn't want to be with you. She doesn't spend enough time with you, for one thing. She treats you like a stranger (your words). You sound like a good guy who could probably find someone else.

    Source(s): I'm an older woman.
  • 9 years ago

    she's depressed. that's the way i was with my boyfriend. maybe you should ask her if she is about something. and if she is, she'll start opening up to you and yall will become closer than ever(: (i went through the same thing)?

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  • 9 years ago

    awwww i think you should tell her that feeling and tell her it hurts a lot, and also tell her why she acts fishy sometimes. Trust me tell that to her. She would give you the reason and will love you more

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