Family trying to get me to quit breastfeeding?
So last night my sister posted something on Facebook about her daughter not sleeping. I put "Yea, the baby isn't either. Growth spurt and teething, yikes!". My mom then puts "Time to quit breastfeeding". She keeps telling me in subtle ways that he is getting too old and big and I need to quit now. He's only 4 months by the way. I can ignore my mom though since we don't live together or anything. So then I told my husband about it and apparently he agrees! He said I need to start pumping and feeding from a bottle before he becomes attached and uses my breast as comfort. He says he wants me to wean by 6 months. I want to breastfeed for at least 6 months, preferably longer, but I don't know how I can when no one is supporting me. How can I get my husband to be more supportive? This baby is our second and he says I'm treating him differently than we did the first (which the things we did different were the way my husband did things that I didn't really like with the first).
I do pump a bottle every morning so my husband can feed the baby while I'm at work. What's weird is until now every time my mom has said anything he has said "Screw her, breast is best."
I think my husband's problem is he has been sleeping on the couch so me and baby can co-sleep. He wants back in the bed and I think he's thinking he won't get back in as long as I'm breastfeeding. As for my mom I have told her numerous times that I will be breastfeeding to at least 6 months (not that I want to, but I WILL). I think I am going to write a research paper for my husband as to why I will continue to breastfeed. He knows how important it is to me, especially since I decided I want to be a lactation consultant. He told me to find something I'm passionate about and I'm passionate enough about breastfeeding to want to make a career out of it.
The bed is not big enough for all 3 of us. My husband is a heavy sleeper and rolls around a lot. I co-sleep with the baby so I can actually get some sleep. I have to get up at 6 am for work 6 days a week. My husband doesn't have to go to work until 2 pm. I'm usually up until 1-2 am as it is between kids, husband, and chores. If I could sleep on the couch with the baby, I would. I told him I would clean off the futon and sleep there if it was that big of a deal and he just got mad. He also stays up until like 4 am every night and I told him he was more than welcome to come back to the bed, but he had to come to bed when I did because he would wake up the baby coming in there at 4 am.
- 9 years agoFavorite Answer
Sounds like your doing a good job. Make sure he knows how important it is for both of you and research to back you up is good. Stick to your guns. Know WHY your breastfeeding so you can stand up for yourself or change the subject, you dont need to explain yourself to everyone. And learn to tell people like your mother that its non of her business. Or that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends AT LEAST nursing for 1 year. It is the best thing for your baby and for you and six months is not that long. Your baby is only little for a short while.
I am still nursing a 27 month old and she is still co-sleeping. I have dealt with that too. You can find support if you need it. Find a la leche league near you. I get pressure to wean even from friends who nursed and wished they nursed longer than they did. My father asked when I'm going to stop nursing and go back to work. Knowing full well I have no intentions of it.
Your husband needs to be supportive. Tell him so. Your baby wont be a baby for long. As for co sleeping. We put our mattress on the ground and then put another mattress on the ground next to it. I sleep on one with my daughter and my husband sleeps on the other. He also comes home at 4 am and goes to bed. And needs to be careful not to wake us up. But when I can I sneak away from my daughter and cuddle with him. Its normal for your husband to feel ousted. I would just try to minimize that as much as possible.
Be strong in your choices. It doesnt matter what you decide to do. Someone will find fault with it so parent the way you believe is right and dont be swayed by all the various opinions out there. You are responsible for your children and you dont want to live with regrets.
- EllenLv 79 years ago
"before he uses the breast for comfort"? Are you kidding? What does he think *all* babies used before pacifiers (a fairly recent invention) were used? Pacifiers replace the breast, not the other way round!
By the way-bottles and pacifiers contribute to the need for braces later. How will hubby feel about paying for that?
Breastfeed to a year or more, for a healthy start for both of you. But if you think the problem is that your husband feels left out of the bed, fix that problem. Either read up on safe co sleeping so that you are all comfortable in one bed, or invest in a second bed so that you and baby can have one, and you and hubby can share one part of the time as well. See James McKenna's site for information on safe co sleeping.Source(s): hospital IBCLC and mothers' group leader 20+ years mom to 3
- Mom21Boy♥Lv 79 years ago
You should actually be breastfeeding till at least 6 months so the baby can get the most nutrients from you and be immune to certain sicknesses. Those people are dumb, I am sorry but you know what's best for your baby in this situation.
I could see if your baby was 2 years old but 4 months, you can still breastfeed!
- MommaLv 79 years ago
Ignore them. Honestly, just put all of it out of your mind and any time someone makes a comment about it change the subject and don't even think about it. I have a big family, all of whom formula fed except for one of my aunts. So to them, breastfeeding is weird and I'm always asked how long I will breastfeed. My one cousin who tried but couldn't breastfeeding asked me how long I would breastfeed now that she has teeth and I said "Idk, I haven't decided yet" and she said "Oh well I couldn't imagine breastfeeding a baby with teeth, I couldn't do it" which is weird to me because having teeth makes no difference. My MIL who did breastfeed keeps telling me I should pump so she can have my daughter at her house over night, not even caring that she won't take a bottle. But I just put it all out of my mind, that's the easiest way to deal with it. I honestly don't know what you can do to get your husband on board other than explaining (or re-explaining) why you feel it's best to keep your son on the breast and all of the benefits it poses for you and your son. If he won't jump on board then just tell him to piss off, haha.Source(s): Mom to Savanna Carolynn born June 13, 2011 <3
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- aLv 69 years ago
Move baby to a bassinet next to the bed and let hubby reclaim his place. You'll get his support back and this won't be a problem. If that truly is the reason he wants you to quit it is an easy fix - it might not be as easy for you as you will actually have to get up to feed baby but it can be done. Writing him and essay to read as he sleeps on the couch is not going to help if he is feeling displaced - although writing him a letter about all the things you appreciate him doing, including giving up his place in the bed, might help.
- 9 years ago
wow thats ridiculous!!! damn right breast is best! there are so many mothers gettin discouraged from breastfeeding and i dont know why. i have a 4 month old too and i plan on breastfeeding her as long as i can. i mean, if your husband is supportive of breastfeeding i say right on girl! yeah its tough, yeah it can be inconvenient sometimes, but its the best thing you can possibly do for your baby right now. its also saving you a lot of money, no preparation necessary, so much good can come of it. i get so much applause for breastfeeding there is nothing wrong with it! anybody who tells you otherwise clearly does not know whats best for your baby. nuff said.
- Anonymous9 years ago
I think you need to do what you want and what is best for you and the baby. If you don't want to stop breast-feeding then don't. Just tell them it's fine for you to keep going as long as your comfortable. If you are unsure if you should stop contact the baby's pediatrician they can give you advice on when to stop and all that good stuff. I wouldn't stop b/c some one tells you to, but you don't want to ignore what your husband is saying either b/c that can make things worse.
- ConnieLv 69 years ago
I know things would be easier, but your baby is use to the breast and when I made my son give up breast feeding at five months, I cried. I didn't want to stop. I liked breast feeding and having that closness with my baby, also you are supposed to breast feed for a year. I know you are going to miss those times and really regret it, and you were doing so well.
- Anonymous9 years ago
I pumped for the first 6 weeks postpartum and it's not fun. It's painful and if you have a baby that will eat your milk from your breast, it's simply the best way to do it. Stick to your guns and don't let anyone tell you otherwise! Keep up the good work~
- 9 years ago
Do not let them pressure you! You and your baby are the ones who should choose how long to breastfeed. Even if family doesn't support you. Its hard,but worth it. About your husband, print off all the benifits that are known(PROVEN) for breastfeeding. Also for support join the Leaky B@@b on fb, those women will be more than happy to support you! (And can give great information and sites!)Source(s): I support you, teething is NOT a reason to wean nor is age. I'm a mommy to a 17 mo old Boobman, breastfeeding with no end in sight and we LOVE it. (My husband has learned I WILL NOT change my mind on something so benifical, he has even stopped telling me I will pump when our son gets to 2 yrs, he had to learn to support me)