Is looking at Gay porn bad?(Please read details) Help?

Before I explain everything:

I don't want any comments like:

"You're sick, go see a doctor" or "Yuck". Please, be mature, this is a very serious question and a sincere and thought out answer would mean a lot.

I am 20 years old and female. Up until I turned nineteen, I lived a very strict and sheltered life. My parents didn't allow me to go out with friends later than eight o-clock at night, or even go on a date without a chaperon. I didn't have any way of letting out my emotions that I had sexually...I didn't even know how to talk about it with my friends because I didn't understand them.

When I was eighteen I started getting into gay anime porn. (Male&Male, not Female&Female) I am not proud of it whatsoever. I went through a phase when I did nothing but get home from school and download files so I could read/look at it. It made me feel disgusting and in-sociable but it made me feel good in a way that I'd never felt before. I never and have never masturbated to it. I just sit and look at it and feel shivery(in a good way.) Eventually my parents found out and took me to my pastor. They told him that they thought I had a demon and that they wanted me exorcised.

I was ashamed of myself and I almost believed them so I went along with it. I didn't feel any different afterwards but I still went home and deleted all of the stuff I'd downloaded because I was afraid I was going to go to Hell for it.

Only a few months afterwards I met a wonderful man on the internet and moved away against my parents wishes. He watches gay(Female&Female) porn. But I have never told him about my past porn addiction. Whenever guy on guy stuff is ever mentioned on TV or in a commercial he changes the channel or acts grossed out. But when girl on girl stuff comes up he immediately wants to go to the bedroom.

I recently started reading the gay anime porn again because we had a fight and I was angry at him so I rebelled.

We are still very active in bed and he has said recently that I am even better lately. I feel a little ashamed but at the same time he watches the girl stuff so why can I not watch the guy stuff? It hasn't affected our relationship in the slightest, we seem to be doing better than ever in fact.

But I still don't like carrying this secret around. I don't read it all the time, just when I have nothing else to do. Should I stop and just delete it all? What should I do?

Additionally:

I understand that guys are naturally grossed out by male&male activity unless they are bi or attracted to the same sex. I can relate to that because female&female activity doesn't appeal to me at all.

For girls, guy&guy stuff is essentially the same thing as girl&girl except to the female perspective.

You guys say

"Do you like it because of their asses or what?"

We girls say:

"Do you like it because it's two puss*** or what?"

I am asking for open minds and opinions. Thaanks

13 Answers

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  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Your parents seem to be a little old fashioned. Keep them away from porn. Always remember that porn demons even gay porn demons can always be driven away with a chocolate bar and a small glass of whisky (even tapwater is said to work pretty well).

    To answer your question you need do define the meaning of bad more precisly. Gay porn in itself is not bad. Just like any other kind of porn it can be bad porn or good porn. Gayness does not make porn bad. Gay porn can be bad for you for other reasons. It could for example ruin the relation between you and your parents. It could gross off your boyfriend. It could make your pastor horny. Whatever. It will not turn you evil. It will not make you an awful person. It will not change your personality. It might make you horny though.

    From what you write I guess you should talk about it with your man. Annoying secrets are annoying. He looks at his porn you look at yours. (Hilarious porn should always be shared!) When both of you are horny enough you do the usual to dehornify. Since both of you seem to know that porn is porn and real life is different I see no need to keep this secret.

  • 3 years ago

    2

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  • 5 years ago

    just watch what you like, dear.. as long as it feels good and you are happy, that's it.. looking at porn won't do any harm for your health.. as long as you're watching humans doing it, either gay, lesbian or straight.. it seems normal to me.. no matter what gender you are.. unless you watch something like beastiality, then u gotta have a mental problem.. cause that is so wrong.. just tell your boyfriend the truth that you like to watch man-on-man action, if he feels disgust about it, then he don't need to watch it with you.. if a girl-on-girl action is what turning him on but won't for you, then just let both of you watch whatever you guys like, alone.. come to each other when you guys feeling horny.. i see no problem here.. you maybe a gay guy trapped inside a woman body, hahaha.. kidding

  • 4 years ago

    Maybe i'll sound old-fashioned but i don't think looking at porn is good for the soul. I feel like it sort of makes sexuality out to be less than it really is. Sexuality is about an exchange of love-God designed for married and in-love couples to have sex- it's not dirty. But porn is dirty- it's not really respectful of human sexuality and sometimes it could be harmful to the individuals in the pornographic scenes (when applicable) or those who are watching or looking at it. Also i feel like it encourages people to look at other people more with lust.

    We are living in a society that teaches that these sort of things are ok because there is the modern notion that sex is not dirty so porn should be fine. But like i said- sex itself in a loving marriage really isnt dirty. Its by far the opposite- its about love. But with porn the love is sort of taken out of the picture and only the sexuality remains. thats my 2 cents. Its up to you and God to decide what you feel is right.

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  • 8 years ago

    Don't be discouraged by the eternal double standard of "Two women good, two men bad". It's not your fantasy, you say, even though it does do something for you. And that's fine, you don't do any harm with looking at it or reading it.

    And don't let anyone tell you that you are sick or something for looking at it, not your man, not your parents, not anybody. And if your man finds out and acts disgusted, shove his actions in his face and see how he reacts. You are at perfect liberty to keep your material and to watch and enjoy it, as long as you don't harm anybody with it.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    there is NOTHING wrong with it different people have different interests. like my x bf didnt like to watch any kinda porn but i loved watchin lesbian porn its becuz i was once lesbian but i like guys and sum girls soo im bi. and if u feel u shud tell ur partner than do it but dont stop for him or feel ashamed cuz he does the same damn thing by watchin girl on girl.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    I don't see any problem with it, and there really isn't anything to worry or be ashamed about with what you do or have done. It really isn't a problem and nothing to be ashamed about. He doesn't seem to have a problem watc hing girl on girl stuff so there is no reason to be ashamed

  • 8 years ago

    watching gay porn is the equivalent of waching straight porn. neither is more wrong or less wrong than the other. i think watching porn is natural and not at all wrong but thats me. the question you should ask yourself is if you want yourself to watch porn. :)

  • 8 years ago

    You seem really well adjusted and normal, considering!

    I don't think you need to tell your husband, though. Unless you want to. Nothing to feel bad about!

  • 8 years ago

    Whatever floats your boat, I really don't think it matters because everyone needs some sort of release.

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