should parents buy their kids condoms?
theres this mom who comes into the drugstore i work at.
every so often she'll come with her daughter,no more than 15, to buy condoms. i thought this was crazy -despite who they were for- one day she came in to just buy the condoms alone, and i remarked "oh, for your daughter" this probably wasnt a good idea due to the fact that its rude and honestly none of my business, but it somewhat bothers me.
she calmly and casually replied: "yeah!"
she went on to explain that she teaches her daughter to buy condoms to learn safe sex.
i was almost appauled although i didnt show it. but i began thinking.. is this the way its should be? they have it at that age anyway.. i lost MY virginity at 15.. but my dad TOLD me a total of two times to wear protection.. simply verbal. and i always did- except with the girl i lost my virginity to. it just seems like common sense. never had an sti- and got checked out three times in my life.
i feel like parents taking their kids to the drugstore to buy them might be promoting early sex and promiscuity.. did you know TECHNICALLY its still illegal for KIDS to have sex under the age of 18?? its still statutory rape...technically.
i would definately talk to my kids more than my parents did [even though i did just fine] but i would def NOT help them out.
should i feel the way i do when they come into my store? <given, as long as i keep my opinions to myself.. what are your thoughts, having kids, or knowing you might some day.
i dont study other state laws of the US. but i live in California. and it is still illeagal for even two minors under the age of 18 to have sex. even though the law is not enforced- at least ive never seen or heard of it-
i agree that kids should have honest relationships with their parents- but how often should you get your child condoms? and how often should they do this? doesnt anyone think that teaching good relationships is the main priority as a parent?
no double standards on her because its a daughter.. son or daughter; the son i'd be worried about more, since guys are more prone to promiscuity.
actually i would never say that to a customer. i'd be too embarrassed. and besides. why would i risk creating bad blood between a customer whos a regular?? i just felt it wouldnt be the same if i put "i know, i just KNOW theyre for her daughter" or "what if?" because like i said- its none of my business, nor any of my concern. she comes in at least once, maybe twice a month to get a big pack of 'her pleasure' trojans- the ones in the purple box.
Now Heres my honest opinion on the matter:
I actually think its perfectly fine for someone 15 to have sex. it doesnt matter to me as long as they are mature enough to support the consequences. if you can support yourself finacially, you should have the right to do what you please with your body. but if youre not mature enough to take care of even yourself, you should NOT be sexually active- you could be 15 or 30- it doesnt make a diffrence at all. i will raise my kids according to theyre maturity, and i think you guys are all very inattentive for not taking the maturity of your child into consideration. just because "theyre goig to do it anyway" doesnt mean its ok!!! wtf? Condoms Break & BC fails! why increase the risk if theyre helpless?
- TomTomLv 68 years agoFavorite Answer
I think that it Is important to educate your children on safe sex practices and how important it is to use condoms both to prevent unwanted pregnancy and STD's/STD's. If my teenage child was in a long term relationship than I would consider buying them condoms. I would explain to them that I am not encouraging them to have sex, but if the occasion was to arise they were prepared - I would rather the embarrassing conversation with my child than to worry that their not being safe.
- MamaGLv 68 years ago
I do not advocate sex before marriage, and I really really don't advocate teens having sex.
That being said, if my teen is that determined to have sex they can supply their own condoms. If they want to engage in adult activities, then they are responsible for their own condoms. I'm not going to help them have sex when I clearly disapprove of it.
People may think that's silly or wrong on my part, but if my teen will not respect my home and my rules, then they will deal with the full consequences of their actions. They will know the risks of sex. They will know that even with protection that pregnancy/STDs are still possible, hence one of the many reasons why I don't believe a teenager has any business having sex. They will know about birth control, and they will know that abstaining from sex is right (and best) choice.Source(s): I'm a mom and I did not have sex as a teen. I waited until marriage and so did my husband. So if we can do it (and believe me, it was *hard* to wait), then I know it's possible for anyone. Sadly in today's society we are told that we can't control ourselves so just give in as long as you're "safe".
- Mommy-TinaLv 48 years ago
I think you have a right to your own thoughts and feelings, and certainly I'd keep them to yourself. Not everyone gets any kind of sex education in the home, so I guess on the one hand it's nice to see a parent taking an active role to not have a grandbaby, though I'm not sure if buying the condoms is the right solution. It also scares me how OFTEN it sounds like they are coming in, but see, now I'M being judgemental. Plently of 15yo's are having sex, and getting pregnant. I love the relationship between the daughter and the mom. The open honesty of it is very rare. I personally feel like if you think you are old enough to have sex, you are old enough to buy your own protection. Statutory rape would be when one person is of legal age (per your local law) and the other is not, fyi. And it's not always 18 (see below). I might buy my son his first pack of condoms if I suspected him of being close to sexually active, to teach him what they were for and how to use them (or have dad do this, of course). But after that, I'd explain he's on his own! This is the responsibility that comes with sex!
- Anonymous8 years ago
I admire the open and honest relationship this mother has with her daughter. If her daughter is having sex then the fact that the mother is buying condoms doesn't matter. The daughter will still have sex if that's what she wants to do. The mother is just trying to keep her daughter safe.
I live in Australia and the legal age for sex is different in each state. In my state New South Wales the legal age for sex is 16. This girl your describing is 15 ? She'd be almost legal where I'm from.
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- Anonymous8 years ago
You are allowed to feel the way you feel, however if I was a parent I would prefer to know my child is using protection over worrying if my child was going to announce that she was pregnant at 15. I agree that this young girl should not be having sex at this age however I think the mother is being partially responsible for protecting her child. She would be better off stopping it, but most teenagers would just rebel and go off and do it anyway, I know at that age I would.
Also I think her calm and casual response was because she probably thought it was none of your business, and I agree, I would get annoyed if people were sticking their noses in where it was not needed, if it was YOUR son she was getting "intimate" with then I would understand if you were to interfere however this is not the case.
Some parents may think it looks "good" on their behalf if they provide protection, others like yourself may not. It's just a matter of opinion, and how the parent was raised.Source(s): Child care courses.
- Catherine♫Lv 58 years ago
It wasn't your place to ask, But I understand your concern.
Personally I would rather my daughter be open with me then go behind my back, At least I could get her the protection and know she is safe.
I do see what your saying, It is sort of encouraging her, As in.
Here are condoms, As long as you have these you can do what you want.
I don't think she should encourage it.
Just know that it's there if she needs it.
- HaleyLv 78 years ago
I think this is normal. You know your kids right. They are probably are gonna have sex regardless your feelings about it.
At least this mom doesn't close her eyes for the truth or preach abstinence like a righteous non practical figure, who probably kicks her daughter out heartlessly when she comes home pregnant.
I think it is very sensible to buy her daughter condoms to make sure she is protected from diseases or unwanted pregnancy.
Laws are sometimes behind the times.
And promoting/encouraging?!? Really?!? No she is just being sensible and practical. Your parents didn't promote it and still you went ahead and did it anyway. It was probably then also against the law. How do you explain that?
My parents overloaded me with condoms, pamflets and birth control pills at 15 and I didn't had sex until I was 22 so Grin my parents enthusiasm to do the right and open-minded thing for me and their obvious interest was actually a preventive measure for me. Hmmm maybe they knew their behavior would dampen my interest........
If you do not have double standards because it is a girl.
Why are you against it then when you yourself did it at 15?
- 8 years ago
Basically you cant control a kids action. You can guide them and teach them the right and wrongs but ultimately it all comes down to them. Now it would be ignorant to keep a teenager in the dark about the importance of wearing protection. Times have changed and kids are being exposed to a lot more than kids 10 years ago.
Like I said you can only guide them, not choose for them. So in the situation if they do decide to have sex make sure they are smart about it and use a condom. Don't buy it for them and promote them having sex. Just make sure whatever they choose to do they are doing it responsibly.
- 8 years ago
Although it sounds like a good idea and it sounds like she is advocating safe sex, I think it's inappropriate. If you have a daughter who is 15 and you are buying her condoms, that means that you are okay with your 15 year old daughter having sex. Some people might think "Oh, well she's going to do it whether her mom buys her condoms or not, so she might as well make sure her daughter is protected," but it's bad logic. Instead she should be teaching her daughter to focus on anything but sex. I am married and I lost my virginity to my husband. If my mom ever offered to buy me condoms, I would have thought that having sex at a young age is normal and okay, but it isn't. 15 years old is too young and her mom supporting that is wrong in so many ways. Imagine how many partners she might have by the time she is 22 if she started having sex as young as 15 and thought it was normal. :(Source(s): common sense.
- 8 years ago
I would rather help my kids buy condoms than help them raise a child too early or even worse lose them due to HIV. For some reason they do get embarrassed sometimes to go and buy protection, but not shy enough to have sex. All it takes is one time and the rest of their life can change drastically. Better safe than sorry!