Apologies are always good, but it sounds like you are making dating decisions mainly based upon whether or not you like someone and they like you - this approach usually leads to a broken heart.
My first suggestion is that you forget about this guy unless he is a hard working man with Godly character. Unfortunately this type of guy is difficult to find – but please don’t settle for less.
You may not want to hear this, but my second suggestion is that you put in the effort required to become the type of person that God wants you to date (a keeper) before dating anyone else.
"You’ve probably heard the expression “He’s a keeper” or “She’s a keeper”, which means that a person has valuable qualities that a person would want in a boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife.
From a Christian perspective, may I suggest that a keeper is a strong Christian, someone who keeps:
- their Christian faith strong through daily prayer, and regular Bible study/church
- trusting in Christ alone for their salvation and for their daily needs
- trusting God when the storms of life hit (problems, tragedies, etc.)
- God in mind when making any important decision - In other words, they seek God’s will for their lives.
- trying to obey the two greatest commandments, “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength” and “love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mark, chapter 12, verses 28-31)
- trying to grow throughout their life (spiritually, emotionally, relationally, and intellectually)
- trying to display the fruits of the Holy Spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control
- a group of Christian friends
- trying to control their tongue
- a positive attitude (cheerful, enthusiastic, looks on the bright side of things)
- themselves sexually pure from this day forward
- forgiving others
- in mind how much God loves them regardless of what they have done
If a keeper decides to get married, they are someone who keeps:
- trying to meet the needs of their spouse
- trying to communicate their needs to their spouse in a constructive positive
- trying to treat their spouse with a high level of concern and respect in both words and actions - regardless of what they receive in return from their spouse
- their lifetime commitment to their spouse
In order to become a keeper, first of all, if you’re not already, you need to become a Christian. Please read the short book "More than a Carpenter" by Josh McDowell to find out if Christianity is the truth or if it's baloney.
If you decide to become a Christian, here are some suggestions of how to go about developing your relationship with God: 1. Get yourself a good Bible that is written for your age group. 2. Read it every other day at the least - start out in John and move to other books that talk about daily living and love - such as Proverbs, 1 Corinthians, etc. 3. Spend time in prayer daily including praising God; thanking God for all of your blessings; confessing your sins of thought, word, and deed; asking God to forgive your sins; asking God for help forgiving other people; asking God for wisdom to make good decisions that are pleasing to Him; asking God for strength to live your life each day the way he wants you to; sharing things with Him that are bothering or worrying you; and praying for other people.
So the first step toward finding the type of person that God wants you to date and possibly marry is for you to take the time to become the type of person that God wants you to date.
The second step is to prepare yourself for dating and marriage by reading some good books from a Christian perspective about dating and marriage. The appendixes of Straight Talk About Dating and Straight Talk About Teen Dating contain a list of highly recommended books.
After the second step has been accomplished, the next step is to participate in as many activities as possible with other people who are strong Christians. Sunday School class, church youth group or young adult group meetings and activities, church events, activities of a Christian organization, service projects, mission trips, Bible studies, etc., can all be great opportunities to get to know the type of people that God wants you to date without actually dating. (But be careful, some of the people that you will meet are simply masquerading as strong Christians.)
It’s not going to be easy, but patience, perseverance, prayer, and participation in activities with other strong Christians will make it more likely that you will eventually find a person with whom you can have a lifelong loving Christian marriage."
(Please remember that you want a 40, 50, or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)
Hope this helps!
The book Straight Talk About Teen Dating (for ages preteen-17)
The book Straight Talk About Dating (for ages 18 and up)