need advice, scorp/scorp relationship?
without going into a lot of detail, i was engaged too and living w a man for 4 months. he got angry w me one day and took his ring and stuff and left. he said he loved me and would be back. i said not before we go to counseling cause 'this' isn't going to happen again. he refused to go to counseling when the appt came, after saying he would, but i went. i told him what the counselor said, that we both have some issues (albeit, workable ones) . during the past 2 wks we have been both encouraging and angry w each other in person, phone or txt. the culmination of this all is that i finally txtd him 'that despite all odds, we are soul mates and our differences just make us the same...that i love him'. he shot back ' yes, the love remains, as will my word' I said 'what word' he said 'my love for you'. the next day, i told him that my declaration took balls and was an exercise of relating love to him....so what's next? that i don't want to live together or be engaged but i don't want to wait on you , like you have made other women in your past 'wait' only to be abandoned altogether. I've heard nothing for 12 hrs. what the hell is he doing?
- ScorpiusOneLv 59 years agoFavorite Answer
I'm a Scorpio in a long-term relationship (several years) with a Scorpio. I can't tell by Sun Signs if both of you have all the "typical" Scorpio traits and you don't say what the fight was about - small or big issues - but usually Scorpios don't want the advice of outside people especially in personal matters and tend not to listen to that kind of advice anyway. Whether they admit it or not, they know their faults and don't like having those faults exposed to and analyzed by a stranger - particularly the men. So his refusal to go to counseling is understandable in that sense. But what I think you need to be concerned about is the fact that you feel you need to turn to counseling at all. Based on just what you've written above, this guy sounds as though he cares for you but doesn't seem ready for a committed relationship, much less marriage. I think he might know this and now he's thinking, conflicted. Trying to force a commitment, even if he gives in, is not going to result in a happy ending. That total commitment has to come from him in order for his heart and soul to be fully invested in this relationship. So all I can tell you is to wait until he decides - if you can't wait, then you need to ask yourself whether this relationship is really the one for you for the long term. When you talk to him, you should do it person - texting shows you nothing about how the other person is really feeling. It could also be that you two moved too quickly in your relationship and should, if possible, start the relationship over and go more slowly.Source(s): Scorpio with a Scorpio (who happens to be very evolved and totally gets me).
- 9 years ago
IMO, he's trying to figure out what you DO want. You said you "don't want to live together or be engaged".. so clearly you don't want to be with him.. or at least you don't want to progress in your relationship, but then you said "but I don't want to wait on you.. only to be abandoned altogether." so you don't want to stay where you are in the relationship. If your relationship isn't advancing and isn't staying where it is, then you're breaking up. That's a big event though and you didn't actually say you're breaking up, but you also said that you're "soul mates" and soul mates don't break up. Basically, it sounds like your confused and you're sending confusing signals that he's now struggling to figure out.
I'm sorry. I just thought that when you said you want don't want to "live together or be engaged", you probably mean that you want to get be married. In his mind, being married IS "living together" and being engaged has to take place before being married. Anyway, my point was that you have to be clear about what you want and I think that point is still accurate. He probably doesn't want to talk to a councilor because he thinks your problem can be solved by the two of you.. and to some degree at least, even if you go to a councilor, the problem exists between the two of you and only the two of you can fix it. At the same time, if you feel strongly about speaking to a councilor and he decides not to do so, that's simply making the problem worse.
Also, when he said "yes, my love remains, as will my word.", "my word" didn't really mean his love for you. He had already said his love remains. What he was talking about was his promise to love you and be faithful to you, which he made when you got engaged. Although he may not have really known the words, he was talking about marital fidelity, a different kind of love. I think you might admit that saying to someone that you love them forever and want to be with them forever even when you're arguing with that person takes balls. You should stop focusing on how difficult your declaration was and what that declaration says about your relationship, and think more about how difficult his reply must have been and what it means for your relationship.Source(s): I'm an expert in interpersonal communication and psychology and have a layman's understanding of astrology.