Need a woman's perspective on break ups?
In your experience, if you've broken up with a guy you were previously really good friends with, have you ever become friends with him after despite the break up?
And how long did it take you after the break up to feel ready to contact him again?
- 9 years agoFavorite Answer
Yes, I have had this kind of exerience before. I became friends with a guy I dated/fell in love with even after we broke up, and I didn't think it was possible.
I didn't expect us to rekindle our friendship or for him to forgive me for such a horrible breakup experience.......but he did. To my surprise, because I benefitted being a good person during the relationship and always had his back through his tough times, he forgave me. Despite some pretty f'ed up things I've done to him, he's said to me after a year of silence, that he "still missed me and realized that I was still a good person and always a great friend to him".
It made me feel good in my heart to know that.
I thought he hated me and did his best to forget about me, which I' sure he did. We have a Facebook between the 2 of us, but never spoke a word to eachother after the breakup for approximately a year. So I just took it for what it was and tried my best to move on. It was difficult because I loved him still and he was always in my heart. I had to let go. But I knew that the things I have done were wrong and just waited and waited and waited until he was ready to give it another shot at our friendship. I waited for an entire year. It finally happend AFTER I gave up on it and peacefully moved on with my life....knowing that that was the best thing to do for myself. He eventually came around to talking to me again, and I was grateful for it....when the shock of it died down lol.
So he and I are in different relationships, but still see eye to eye on who we are and how much of a good friendship we've had. It made all the difference in the world once he forgave me for my mistakes. I was able to have that closure. Though things were not and perhaps never will be the same again, we're distant friends, but friends nonetheless.
Sorry this is soooo long but it's from the heart lol
I would suggest (since I was in your shoes before): After all that time I've spent waiting around, I've realized all along, that it was just best to move on with my life. Not grieving over the things I couldn't change. He popped back up in my life unexpectedly and I was almost offended because of how long it took. I figured if he really wanted to be friends, he would've made the effort to forgive me a lot sooner than it took....considering I was his only decent friend in the world according to him. Even though we have talked again after the breakup and became friends, it wasn't all that it was cracked up to be.
It's not a bad thing to still love a person that's no longer in your life, waiting around for them for eternity, is. It's exhausting and you'll have an endless amount of time feeling like there's no hope for reconciliation which will leave you feeling worthless and guilty over all the things you can't go back go back in time and undo. It's a ridiculous feeling altogether and not worth it sweetie.
If ever that day comes when he decides to bounce back into your life, you'll be smarter and wiser knowing that you've got a clear mind to think once you've had the time to recover. It's so much excess emotion weighing you down. You'll realize, after all the time you've spent worrying over the past, you've wasted just as much time in the present to affect your happiness for your future.
You owe it to yourself to be happier. I know it's so cliche' to say all of that......but I'm a walking example of living proof. Just do you and live your life lol
I hope this has helped :) :)Source(s): Been in the exact same situation before 2 years ago. I'm in a new relationship with a wonderful guy and I couldn't be happier.