Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 9 years ago

My mother's trying to hook me up with this guy I REALLY don't like... but I'm asexual?

So, I'm sixteen, for starters.

My mother's trying to hook me up with her friend's son. He's EXTREMELY perverted, and a douchebag. I've told my mother thousands of times that I'm asexual, and have no interest in men. She said that I'm being selfish, and that since I'm her only child, she wants me to have children when I'm older. It's so annoying! I can't talk back or she grounds me or sends me to my room.

Now, I'm very religious. Though, my mother keeps saying "God said be fruitful and multiply" and that I'm a "sinner" for not being interested in this stuff. I hate how she feels it's OK to shame her own daughter for not wanting a sausage up in her donut.

Now, I haven't always been asexual. I used to have crushes on boys until I was around twelve. My parents constantly saying "when you have kids one day" like they expect me to... it made me decide that I'm never creating a soul in my flesh and blood just to spite them. My mother especially. It may sound heartless, but I just don't want to do anything my mother encourages at this point. She makes me want to die.

Now, with this guy... he constantly gropes me, and I've punched him several times. I was the one who got in trouble. My mother refused to believe he groped me, and it's pissing me the Hell off.

What do I do?



Update 2:

Could I please get some ACTUAL HELP? I'm asexual. Instead of trying to convince me that I'm not WHO I FREAKING AM, how about you tell me how to DEAL WITH IT?

Update 3:

@everythingallthetime I'm not attracted to girls or guys. That means I'm lesbian? WTF are you smoking, dumbass?

9 Answers

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Both your mother and the pervert you're describing seem like really immature and near-sighted people. Even though asexuality is hard to understand,she as your mother should be the first to accept it and help you instead of pressuring you. She should at least be happy that you're not a lesbian.

    Don't worry about getting into trouble for punching him,you're a teen,there's not exactly anything your mom can do to punish you for that. You're not interested in him,and you have to explain this calmly to her. If she really can't accept it,just ignore the whole matter and don't let yourself get groped by this loser.

    Forcing yourself to not get crushes just to spite your mother is very immature though,and by doing this you're actually just going to hurt yourself in the long-run. Being alone isn't fun,you'll see that someday.

  • You're not asexual, or else you would be a hermaphrodite, as in having both female and male reproductive organs. If you were asexual, you would be able to reproduce solitarily, which is impossible for humans. You are lesbian, not asexual. You need to pay more attention in Biology class.

    Now in terms of this guy. Make him feel like less of a man. He's just a boy. Invite some girl friends over in his presence and all at once just start making fun of him in any way you can. He'll feel extremely insecure around you in the future and I promise he won't bother you.

  • 9 years ago

    I know you are religious, but for the time being, you might as well pretend for your mom. You are only sixteen and she has authority over you now. Just pretend you are interested in guys for a while while you live at home. And then, when you graduate, you can be who you want to be. One idea is to find a gay friend and pretend to be boyfriend and girlfriend. That way he doesn't get bullied, and you don't have to put up with your mom b*tching. Your mom IS being ridiculous. Refuse to hang out with that perv. She can't force you to. This is terrible that your mother makes you feel like dying. Here's the deal: play her game. Get a "boyfriend." If you do not like gay people because of religion, I don't know what to tell you. But you have to do something to ease the pressure. Good luck and I hope things get better for you.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    what a Predator to remind you and be so heartless as well! I miss my "baby doll" because hes never going anywhere mabe you will find someone you relate to in a non blood relative way.i have this inside joke with someone and its just you might not be asexual you could be wsexual or esexual/ssexual/etc.sexual because asexual means you don't have any sexual preference at all?You seem to just not want kids is all.

    Source(s): wwsd
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  • 9 years ago

    To be asexual is fine but "to hate" something is really the same thing as "to want" something. It's only the opposite. An asexual person is in fact "indifferent" towards sexuality. Indifferent, without becoming irresponsible.

    Every human being has many responsibilities towards society, for it's only through society, we can maintain our life. To get children is the duty we have to fulfill towards our parents. They have made many sacrifices in providing us this body. With this body, we are given the opportunity to realize God and the self. Now it's our duty, to give other beings the same opportunity, by providing them a human body too.

    On the other hand. That person who renounces this world, and fully dedicates his/her life to the spreading of the glories of the Lord, has no more debts to be payed off to society.

    Srimad Bhagavatam 11.5.41:

    O King, one who has given up all material duties and has taken full shelter of the lotus feet of Mukunda ("He who gives liberation" - God), who offers shelter to all, is not indebted to the demigods, great sages, ordinary living beings, relatives, friends, mankind or even one's forefathers who have passed away. Since all such classes of living entities are part and parcel of the Supreme Lord, one who has surrendered to the Lord's service has no need to serve such persons separately.

  • 9 years ago

    Remember that it is always your choice.

    As for the guy, it may sound mean but threatening always works. As for punching him, a knee to the nuts works a lot better! Trust me, when he feels the pain he will not want to mess with you again. Plus if you get told off, it will be worth it to have the perv off your back wouldn't it?

    Hope this helps!

  • 9 years ago

    You may or may not be asexual. Your whole outlook has been severely impacted by your mother's ideas. See if you can hang out with other guys. It could be a lot of fun, even if not romantic.

  • 9 years ago

    get someone older to talk to her and explain you feeling towards this boy

  • tell her no.

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