ariad asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 9 years ago

How do you deal with being taken for granted?

Just curious? I admit, sometimes I let it boil inside me til it's too late and I just leave the friendship.

2 Answers

  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Tell whoever it is how they're making you feel the awkwardness of it usually forces the person to acknowledge whatever it was you did or do that they take for granted.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    A friend of mine, 69 yrs. old, had a heart attack over a year ago so without hesitation or question I rushed him to the hospital. After two days of dr.'s doing surgery and lowering his blood pressure I took him home. After that he needed to go to a few dr.'s appointments about twice a week. I live right across the street from the veterans hospital he goes to but he lives 30 - 45 minutes away, depending on traffic, on the other side of town. Now I know he's quite cheap and hates to drive long distances due to gas but some how he convinced me that he didn't know the area very well and asked if I could drive from my house, 30 mins. away to his house, pick him up and take him 30 minutes to the V. A. Hospital, wait while he was seen then drive him 30 mins back home, drop him off and finally drive 30 mins back to my house. I was on the road a total of 2 hours!

    After a few times I asked him if by now he was comfortable getting here on his own. He simply replied that he enjoyed my company and felt weird with the though of coming on his own. In other word he had an answer to every question I asked to weasel his way out of situations he didn't want to do.

    One day I was doing out routine of picking him up to go to a dr.'s appointment at the V. A. Hospital. When we were done and heading out to the parking lot I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen. We stopped by my house across the street and I headed for the bathroom for an hour as he sat watching TV. Still not finding relief I came out doubled over and all he was concerned about was getting home. I explained to him that I don't think I can drive. All he cold say was, "Awwww. I really need to go. I have things to attend to at home". Calmly I asked if he could drive my truck, take me to the the hospital, drop me off and take my truck to get himself home since I didn't want to deal with an ambulance fee. He made the excuse that he didn't drive stick. I told him it was an automatic. He then made the excuse that he was intimidated by the full size of my truck. I reminded him how he's driven a truck before. Finally he used the excuse that his cat needs to be let out and fed wet food. I reminded him of the litter box he has in the house and of the food dispenser that always has a full food supply of dry food and how I think his cat will be fine if it goes one single night without going outside or having its wet food.

    With all his complaining I finally gave up and told him to call a cab but before he did that he needed to call our boss since she and her husband lived near by me to come and pick me up to take me to the hospital at first he refused but I insisted that if he couldn't take me like I've so calmly asked he could at least call our boss. Finally he did. Our boss couldn't make it but sent her husband instead. He told our mutual friend to not call a cab and that he'd take him home as well.

    We went across town to the hospital I prefer and as we checked in and waited I insisted that my friend who picked us up take my selfish friend home and how he needs to attend to things at home. He refused because he wanted to not leave me alone in the waiting area and would take the selfish friend home the minute I was seen by a dr. All of the sudden my selfish friends tune changed and just like magic he home dutiies could wait. I knew he was only doing this to not look bad in front of his boss' husband.

    When the dr. saw me I was diagnosed with having a kidney stone. If you're not aware of what one feel like it is the closet a person can get to experience pain of child birth. My selfish friend was taken hom and my driving friend came back. About an hour later we left and got home around 3 am.

    My selfish friend and I didn't talk for almost a year. He started calling but never apologized for his selfish behavior, kissed my but and tried to be as friendly as could be. Once he buttered me up he tried to get me to take him back to his dr. appointments. This time I refused by telling him I was busy. He's tried other times to get me to take him and with a little research I keep telling him how the V. A. will come to his house free of charge as a part of his benefits, and pick him up along with taking him back home.

    Sorry so long. Just learn that you can always say "no" to people. They won't like it but that is your answer and they have to accept it. If they continue to be upset, that is their problem. They can't always expect other to drop what they're doing all to accommodate this selfish person.

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