Girls: How should I contact my ex?
My ex and I have been broken up for a few weeks now. She called it off because my current situation is complicated (got into nursing school, and as a result, I'm currently unemployed and had to move back home with my parents), but she knew about it getting into the relationship several months back. Whatever her reasons, this started to bother her right before we broke up (and precipitated the break-up), and she didn't feel like she'd be able to go through two years of hardly seeing me. She also felt like I wasn't being nearly as affectionate with her the last few times we saw each other (I was stressing as I was preparing, but I apologized when she told me this), so she was feeling a bit unappreciated/unloved. She didn't like that feeling, so she ended things, feeling like maybe we weren't right for each other. I respected it and let it be.
And normally, even if I miss the person I had been in the relationship with, I'm content and at peace with letting the relationship go, because hey, there's a reason you broke up. The thing is, several weeks later, I don't feel that way. As much as I've been focused on school and meeting new people in the last two weeks, there's something in the pit of my stomach that is telling me different; I think about her all the time. I want her in my life.
We haven't talked since the breakup, and she's not part of my daily life now where I would just run into her somewhere (she lives about 20 minutes away, though). I know some people will say that trying to get back together with someone never works, but I feel like I'm going to regret not trying to work something out with her. She means a lot to me, and I realize there's a chance she's moved on, so I'm prepared for any hurt that may come from that.
How do I contact her? What's the best way? I want something low pressure/low stress. Sure, I could send a text, asking her how she's doing, but I don't feel like there would be any change in our relationship through doing just that. I'd like her to know how I feel about her (since she seemed to have doubts about it before), so I don't know if an e-mail is appropriate either, telling her that I miss her and I'd like to sit down with her over coffee and just see how things go. I don't feel like a phone call out of thin air is appropriate either.
Anyway, I'm just looking for some advice. If an ex who you recently broke up with contacted you, what would make you more open to talking or seeing him?
- BillLv 69 years agoFavorite Answer
i agree about the sending a text or email is not the right way to go... you've got to go see her face to face. i don't know what you say, or what you hope the outcome to be, but i say you take the time to go see her. possibly just show up out of the blue, who knows. maybe when you speak to her, you go there without expectations. like don't give her an ultimatum or anything. don't make her feel like she's supposed to decide on some kind of outcome with you that very day. approach her as a friend. put your feelings and ego aside, and just pretend she's any other good friend in your life. try talking about her, let her talk about herself. go ahead and expect to hear from her that she may be seeing someone else, you know worst case scenario type stuff. if she is, hide you hurt and just know that she is just trying to rebound from you, it's nothing personal that she's doing to you.
i always believe that the person that ended the relationship, has to be the one to come back. not the other way around. so you just approach her as a friend and let her see what's good about you to help her remember that you are an actual person, not just some memory or name in a phone. good luck buddy... everything is going to work itself out in your life no matter what the outcome is with her
- rozeLv 44 years ago
I expect you imply ex girlfriends within the excellent feel...her confidents, her friends, her peers, correct? Why, on the earth, do you believe threatened by way of this? No one can also be all matters to everybody. You're her husband and she's going to control, relatively well, if she loves you, to position you first, however that does not imply she are not able to have peers. Can't they be your peers, too? My girlfriends make me greater for my husband. I constantly come clear of them feeling completely happy and light-weight, with whatever humorous or intriguing to proportion with him. It real does not have got to be both or....until you and she or he pick to survive a abandoned island. You will have to rethink this, pricey boy. She'll handiest resent you finally should you you should be this controlling. Where is the believe? Bring at the love.
- ?Lv 59 years ago
If an ex recently broke up with me, I'd forget about him and move on. If he tried to contact me, I'd instantly delete anything he sent me because it's obvious he's begging me to get back with him. And if I ever saw him, he's be decked in the face. Exes are in the past, forget the past and MOVE ON.