Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 9 years ago

My fiancee keeps watching pornography behind my back? What do you honestly think about all of this?

Im 21 years old and am over 7 months pregnant. Before being pregnant I never had any issues with my body at all. I was always naturally super skinny so getting pregnant and having a belly was really new to me. Ive been with my fiancee for about a year now. About 3 months ago we were trading phones for the day. While he was showing me how to work his phone he opened his facebook up , and up poped a girl he had on facebook and a picture of her butt in a thong. Clearly showing that was the last thing he was looking at. What bothered me even more was that this picture was right far into one of her albums that she had of herself which were a bunch of dirty pictures. I was super upset so he deleted his facebook account.

I eventually got over this, then a month later i caught him getting off to porn online while i was in the shower on new years eve. This pretty much ruined my new years. This continued every time i'd leave the house or shower so finally i said something about it and he confessed and apologized and swore on our babies life and our relationship it wouldnt happen again in this house.

Last night I caught him again. His history on his phone was deleted and it hurt me soo bad. His reasons are always that i reject him sexually but i think its not the truth because yes im pregnant my sex drive decreased but i was having sex with him daily. But all this has had a super negative impact on my self esteem. Being pregnnat and knowing your fiancee would rather get off to other women than with you hurts. It makes me feel super unattractive. I only weigh 130 pounds and im 5'7. Im all belly and still exercise and try to look my best even though im pregnant but i feel like thats not enough. I dont know what to do anymore. Our sex is decreasing and I dont even care because i dont really want to have sex cause i feel so self conscious now and am always wondering if hes thinking about other women. This is making me feel soo unhappy and is really affecting my self esteem. Any advice. Thanks so much for your time!

16 Answers

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  • Guido
    Lv 5
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    shave your legs more often.

  • 9 years ago

    First, don't let anyone tell you that is you with the problem or that you're being immature when it's clearly your husband who has the Please enterproblem. I am not saying that you are faultless here but it comes down to this; if your husband loves you then why does he continued to do something that clearly hurts you?

    Please don't try to tell me that he's entitled to masturbate to porn just because you're pregnant. Why can't he wait a few months until the baby is born and you could resume a more normal sex life together?

    Oh, he can't wait that long? Really? Is our society become so narcissistic that we have the right to do anything we want even if it hurts her spouse?

    Now, having said all that, you should understand that as a wife there are certain obligations you have to your husband as far as his sexual needs are being met, and if you don't want him masturbating to porn then you're going to have to swallow your pride, get some self-esteem and find another way to relieve his sexual tension.

    Source(s): - - - Ladies, does it hurt wondering if your man is looking at porn --or visiting sex chatrooms-- behind your back? Visit http://findhisporn.com/ and know for sure.
  • 9 years ago

    well i understand what you are going through but technically your husband is addicted to porn and i would feel better knowing that he is at home watching it than out there doing it with some other woman. Maybe because of your condition your husband feels that the kind of sexual activities you use to both have has to cease between the both of you for a while to accommodate your feelings and low sex drive and also maybe he scared and worry he may hurt the baby.

    I dont think watching porn or seeing dirty pics equates to cheating and he rather to visit these sites than to find another woman. Also u insecure because you no longer got your Baywatch body..completely understandable. you can be pregnant and sexy you know. my male friend found his pregnant wife wearing lingerie and paddling about the house wearing next to nothing very sexy.

  • 9 years ago

    It's normal for men to view some form of pornography and masturbate. Even I do that from time to time.

    You are 7 months pregnant, having self-esteem issues due to the pregnancy, and are hormonal. You need to let this go.

    I never had any issues with porn - until after I had the baby and then my hormones went all crazy and I got sensitive about it. It took me some time to realize that it wasn't the porn - it was my body that I really had issue with.

    Even after the baby...porn will be there. Ask him to be discreet about it.

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  • 9 years ago

    Nearly all men watch porn. It is an addiction to some. I don't think it really reflects on you at all. It's just something they do. Maybe you could try watching it with him to see if it spices up your sex life. Of course, being 7 months pregnant, you'd probably rather not, lol. He could be afraid of hurting you because you are pregnant, which may be why he's been less inclined to initiate sex lately.

  • 4 years ago

    i know it seemes like a huge deal yet particularly it is not. The facebook factor with this lady is def. a reason to be disillusioned, yet observing porn and doing "his factor" once you're pregnant is only his way of "handeling " issues. i'm beneficial you look stunning, so dont sweat it. And whilst toddler is right here, you could pass back to "being at the same time" and Im beneficial this might stop. a minimum of he's observing it on television or the laptop and not out in the back of your back. Dont sweat the msall issues in existence. take excitement on your loved ones

  • 9 years ago

    There is a view that pregnant women are beautiful. This is a view shared only by women and gay men.

    There is a view that watching porn is cheating. This is a view shared only by control freaks, IOW, most women.

    You have to accept the fact that he is attracted to non pregnant women, as are most healthy men, and that his watching porn is a way to get what he wants without being unfaithful to you. If you wish to demand that he cannot view any porn, then be ready for the next phase of your life: Being divorced.

    And, get some help for your major control issues.

  • 9 years ago

    The blunt fact is that you are not mature enough for this level of a relationship. Furthermore, you had to snoop to learn that he hadn't kept his word. And while there's nothing wrong with his viewing porn, his failure to keep his word to you indicates he's not adult enough as well.

    Give the child up for adoption and go back to your mommy to finish growing up...and tell baby daddy to do the same thing.

  • Mikey
    Lv 6
    9 years ago

    Pregnant woman = wild outta control hormones .

    Pregnant woman and hormones = equal low self esteem about her body as it grows .

    Porn for men = Romance novel for woman .

    Source(s): Relax , it's ALL normal .
  • !
    Lv 5
    9 years ago

    You sound so selfish. Get over yourself will ya? You're way too underweight for your height and pregnant. Your child will have health problems if you keep over exercising and dieting. Second, all dudes watch porn. Seems to me your husband really cares to keep the relationship going despite your extravagant wants to keep him away from some visual stimulation...

  • 9 years ago

    I am SO sorry you are going through this. This happened a few times before my husband and I got married, I showed him how much it hurt me and he stopped.Men don't understand the pain it causes, and in some cases they don't care. My husband didn't have a porn addiction though, it sounds like your fiancee might have one. Have you spilled your guts about how it feels? We can't compete with those women because they are in a fantasy land. What your fiancee probably doesn't realize is that those women have to take all sorts of drugs before they go on screen in order to do what they do, and in reality they HATE what they do, but they get too much money to wan to stop. I think it's time for both of you to go to a good Christian counselor and get all of this out. It might be something of an ultimatum, (If you won't go with me to counseling about this, you WILL LOSE ME AND THE BABY, is watching your nasty habit worth losing your family over?!!"

    I have seen porn RUIN... absolutely RUIN my parents marriage. And that's why when I caught my fiance doing it, I was SO VERY HURT and emotional. My parents are still married, but because of my dad's porn addiction my mom doesn't want to sleep with him EVER. It has ruined everything for them, but my dad is SO selfish and so hateful (not a typical man by any means) that he doesn't care how she feels, how much it hurts, he'll watch it and then go to bed wanting her, she refuses and then he gets mad because she doesn't want to sleep with a man who got off on other women. Can you blame her? She's self conscience, it's something we other women can not compete with, and something we should not HAVE to compete with.

    I'm so sorry about what you are going through.

    Watch these please. It might help you, and it might help him if he watches these also. :)

    http://vimeo.com/20211248

    http://vimeo.com/16592630

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