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Pregnant and husband doesn't want baby?

Me n my husband have been married a little more than a year. We dated 6 years we're both young. He's 24 and im 20. We have a 2 year old son together. When I was pregnant with him he was the an alright guy I still stressed n cried over his selfishness at times but overall he was happy. He promised to be more supportive the next pregnancy, Well now im pregnant and he's upset, non-supportive at all. It hurts so bad because I feel he's my husband and he should be supportive. It makes me hate him, and just wanna have an abortion. I spend endless nights crying when I see other people who's partners are so supportive and he is not. We have been living seperate for 6 months only see each other on weekends because I left while he was deployed to do a 1 year nursing program in my home town but he came back early. I have 10 weeks left till im supposed to graduate and go back to our home, but now since he's acting this way I dont know if I will. I love him so much, and we used to be close but lately my whole marriage is falling apart and this just adds icing to the cake. I was very happy when I found out about the baby. Considering im about to become a nurse and I will have the means to provide a good life to my baby. It just breaks me down when he doesn't respond like I'd like him too, like a husband should. Its killing me. I told him lets just divorce and he said well fine...I don't want a baby right now. His father is also dying of terminal cancer.Idk if that should matter but I just think its wrong to treat your pregnant wife this way. I fear being a single mom with 2 kids. I always wanted a perfected family with a man who actually wants me to have his child and is joyful. Now i feel like im gonna waste another pregnancy by myself and stressed...Never will have what I desire. 2 kids with no love. Pregnant again and Single.Why me why cant I just have a joyful pregnancy with my husband comforting me and being there excited as i am.I know i will never get that now because i only plan to have 2 kids..I just need advice this is killin me on the inside I dont have many if any friends at all and only he knows about the baby.

Update:

I just blocked his number out of my phone so he cannot contact me because I am soooo mad and hurt.

Update 2:

It seems as if everyone in my life has turned their back on me n hurt me.

5 Answers

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  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    You don't say anything specific about what he's not doing to "support you." Through your own words, you make it sound like you're being overly selfish. Do you think the pregnancy hormones are exacerbating things? Are you sure you're not asking or expecting too much from him? His father is dying. He has a 2 year old that he doesn't see much right now. He doesn't physically see his wife all that much. His wife is pregnant and angry with him. He is serving his country, sacrificing his personal life for his country being deployed all the time. He may have seen war. You don't live together (not anyone's fault, you're both doing good things).

    He's going through a lot right now, too, don't forget that. Are you supporting him the way he needs you to?

    I think you both need to be more supportive and understanding of each other. Threatening divorce doesn't help anything. I know you probably said it out of anger, and he responded out of anger, but probably neither of you meant it or wants that.

    I think you should seek marriage counselling. There was a time when you loved each other enough to marry and to have a child. For the sake of that love, and that child, you MUST work on the marriage. Marriage is very hard work. Give it your all, and if after a year or so of counselling and getting your lives back to normal (living together, at least) you find you still can't make it work, then separate. But don't throw in the towel in the midst of crisis. Crisis is hard on ANY marriage. Its how you as a couple work through it that makes or breaks that marriage.

    I'm sorry you're going through all this. Hang in there. I hope it works out for you.

    Edited:

    Re-reading your post and your additional details. You are so mad you want an abortion? You blocked his phone number?

    That is very immature.

    He is the father your son. You cannot cut him off. He has rights. How is he supposed to contact you regarding his son? If he can't get a hold of you and you have his son, he can call the police. That looks very bad on you if things go sour. Don't be stupid. You don't have to talk to him if you don't want to, just don't answer the call or talk through his or your family, but you need to keep the lines of communication open for the sake of your son (and future child!).

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  • 8 years ago

    I'm really sorry he's acting this way, your right though a mature man would be excited over it and support you the whole way. I think you should ask him to see a marriage counselor, but first ask him to explain why he doesn't want a baby and why it's such a bad thing for him. If he has any parents or his father is still alive then you should talk to them about it, maybe his parents can put some sense into him. If he doesn't change his ways then it's probably better that you left him, and in that case you should get any help from any family and friend you can.

    AFTER MORE RESPONSES: Men are not assholes, just because this one guy did this to you doesn't mean all men are like that, I'm sure there's even women out there that have his attitude toward having a baby. Most men would be supportive and happy to see you pregnant.

    AFTER ADDED: If everyone turned there back on you, your still not alone, there people on this site helping you even. You should tell this to a therapist if you can't get help from anyone or convince your husband to help you though this. You husband is the only person you know in person, that can help you almost 24/7, so it's probably a good idea not to give up on him so easily.

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  • 8 years ago

    the baby is in your womn therefore it is your decision. If you want your baby then do not allow for a man to stand in your way. Have your baby and be happy. Hopefully you will find someone who will love your kids as well as you. :) tons of luck

    p.s.- congratulations.

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    I don't know what to tell you but I am really sorry for you. I looked at your name "Everything happens for a reason" Right (by right I mean did I get your name right) maybe tell some of your friends to help you through this.

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    You do what best for you and the babies man are *** h.

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