Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 9 years ago

Child Custody During Separation?

Me and my husband are going to separate for a while. I don't think that we'll be filing for a legal separation unless necessary. He will be moving into a flat for the meantime whilst we try to resolve some situations. The one thing that I'm worried about it child custody. We have three kids together. I'd never ever keep my children away from their own father even if we are going through pretty rough situations.

My husband didn't exactly react calmly when I said that we should separate but, he dealt with it after a while and now agrees that we should. We've briefly discussed child custody and last night as we were discussing it- I gave him an idea of when I think we both should have the children. He did not react well at all. He ended up shouting and arguing and getting really defensive. I understand, that they're also his kids and I will never ever deny access to their own father. He'd like the children when I have free time and he wants me to have the children when I work-basically. I don't think it's fair at all.

But, the main question is : If we are separating (not legally) and can't agree on child custody- will we have to go to a lawyer/court and will we have to be separated legally in order to do so ?

Update:

Would it be worth it to separate legally? Do we have to be legally separated in order to get an official agreement up (signed by family court) ?

4 Answers

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  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Legally (well as far as the state of Florida where I live) you don't have to give the children to him. The right thing to do would be to let him have them, but do remember that if he takes them, he doesn't have to give them back to you either. You're right, the situation isn't fair at all, but honestly, you need to get a custody agreement drawn up if it has already turned into this big of an ordeal. Like the previous answer stated, it can be withdrawn if you guys work things out.

    Nobody wants to feel like their children are being taken away from them. Look at it from his point of view. If you were him and were listening to the proposed time frame you stated, would you be satisfied or want a different time? It's a really hard thing to work out, and if you think that you can't do it in a civil matter, then have a temporary agreement drawn up while you are separated.

    Law enforcement can't force him to give you the children back if he keeps them because he is mad. You need to have an agreement drawn up, so at least if something like that were to happen, you at least have the option of holding him in contempt of court.

    Source(s): Personal experience.
  • 9 years ago

    You really should file for a legal separation...it can always be changed later if things work out. It sounds like the two of you can't agree about visitation/custody, you need the court and/or a mediator to step in at this point. You don't have to have a lawyer to file for a legal separation, just pay the filing fee and fill out the paperwork. If I were you, I'd do it quickly...if your husband got that angry that fast, he might just be the one to file...you want to beat him to it.

  • 4 years ago

    its the identical each in which each mother and father have custody the character can get the baby and bypass the nation and there may be not anything you'll do approximately it till you pass down and get it in writing, one mother or father could have complete custody and the opposite may have visitation or you'll do it 50/50 or what ever the 2 of you make a decision. But if the baby is a unique age they may be able to come to a decision who they desire to are living with given that your baby shall be appointed a mother or father of enlightenment I feel that is what its referred to as, and that individual will ask your baby questions and act as a legal professional at the behalf of the baby

  • 9 years ago

    If you two can not work this out - then file divorce and settle the custody issue once and for all.

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