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Lv 4
asked in Social SciencePsychology · 9 years ago

I don't care about anything anymore!?

I used to care about how I looked, school, family but now I dont care.

I'm a 17 year old junior in high school. I have always tried to do my best in school and plan on going to college. My grades are good,A's and B's, but just this year I've been feeling like I don't care. I'm extremely shy and I don't have any friends. I had two friends but both moved so I guess I just gave up on having friends.

I feel like why do I need to go to college? to get a good job that pays well?

I don't have any friends so I'm probably going to end up alone so I might as well live with my parents since they don't mind and I don't mind. I have a cousin who lives with her parents and is 30. She works and pays rent though.

I also don't care about church. I feel confused. I don't like being shy and I don't know why God would make shy people. I'm starting to doubt if God even exists. I don't like the fact that we need to be grateful he died for us. I didn't want him to die for me. I am fine living and dying like dogs do,but no. I have to go to hell or heaven. My religion has so many rules so I hate it and it confuses me. They say we cant listen to music like rap or hip hop even if its about God, yet they invited a guy that raps about God. I feel like they are all hypocrites.

At home my mom was shy too. She kinda still is but not that much. She never talks to me about personal stuff. she never asks me how I'm feeling and If I try talking to her It would be all awkward. She would probably not say anything and change the subject or something. My sister I feel is very immature for her age so sometimes she annoys me, not as much as my brother though. I am the oldest one . I don't feel comfortable talking to my dad about anything serious or personal. I trust but I don't know why I just don't feel like I'm able to talk to him about certain things.

I used to exercise and I watched what I hate but now I dont care about how I look or anything.

This past few weeks I've been feeling sad and would start crying all of a sudden and for no reason. This one time my sister ate something I wanted and she finished so I started crying and locked myself in my room. I didn't care about what she ate but I started to cry anyways. I start crying for no reason but then I start thinking of so many things. I have thoughts that when I'm done crying I forget.

I don't care about school or my grades but I want to transfer schools. I would feel embarrassed failing school because i'm supposed to be one of the smartest kids and they expect more from me.

I have cried before for no reason. It started out 2 or 3 years ago but now its worse. I'm not sure why I feel this why. I think its all comes down to me being shy and not having friends.

What should I do?

Don't say stop being shy because if I could I would. Its extremely hard for me to overcome being shy for me. I talked to my mom about taking anxiety pills but she doesn't want me to because she says I wouldn't be myself and once the effect is gone i'll be the same. She knows how I feel about being shy but she acts like she doesn't.

I have school tomorrow but I don't want to go. I have finals all this week so I have to go. I'm going to talk to the school counselor about transferring. If they don't let me i'll just have to stop caring about what others think of me. I also have a big project dues tomorrow which I didn't do. This is the first time in my life I haven't even started a project. I'm such a nerd, or was, I don't care anymore.

Update:

Since I'm shy no one will notice me being sad or anything.

1 Answer

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Dear I don’t care anymore.

    I hope that I am not too late to answer your letter.

    Before I answer it though I would like to tell you a little about myself. Just so that you know that I am not some sort of crazy person.

    My name is Rebekah. I am 53 years old. I have three wonderful children. I am shy and so are they. I have a question for you. Did you know that shyness is hereditary? You can’t help it.

    I do remember what it was like for me in school. I was so shy in school that when the teacher called me to answer a question I would get sick. I was not a blessed as far as my grades. I made mostly B’s, C’s and D’s.

    I know one thing, the fact that you wrote this letter means that you have not given up completely. I also want you to know that I care. I think that God led me to find your letter.

    No one has a right to tell you what music to listen to. God gives everyone free will. It is just that if you are born again, you do not want to do that anymore. Still it takes time to change. We all sin because we have our flesh to deal with. I use to listen to different types of music. Now I like to listen to K-Love. It is a Christian Radio Station. Believe it or not there are people who would tell me that listening to that type of music is wrong.

    The thing about music is that it can have a very powerful influence on how you think and feel.

    About crying, I cry at commercials. Women, naturally cry more than men. That is probably why women live longer than men. Crying can be a good emotional release. Remember, in the bible it says, Jesus Wept.

    I do not know if this letter will help you any but I felt that God was guiding me to answer it. If you would like to talk to someone and it is all right with your parents, you can contact me at rebekahcares@yahoo.com . Just let me know who you are first so that I do not think it is junk mail. Maybe you could put for Subject: “Answer to my letter.” That is if you want to write.

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