Is it legal for a Family Court Judge to tell me "It dont matter" that my ex beat and raped and hurt my child?!?

Ok, when I was 16 years old I was in a bad relationship where he constantly beat me and raped me every day. He is a psychotic asshole. He is the type who literally could only get off if I was crying in pain. He did unspeakable things to me but I never told because threatened to kill me and my family. He eventually got me pregnant, but soon after he dropped out of school and I took the opportunity to leave him since I wouldn't see him everyday. He tryed to control me the whole time I was pregnant. I tried not to talk to him or let him know anything about my baby, because he said he didn't care about him. When I went in labor he somehow found out and showed up and tried to cause problems for me. He wanted to fight with me after 29hrs of labor. He tried to sneak in while I tried to Brest feed. Then he come to my home and tried to hurt me and my baby and calling me a ***** and a whore because I was dating someone else whom I am now married to. My parents made him leave but he kept showing up when they were gone trying to hurt us, he took my phones and pushed me around while I was holding my infant son. Then he said if I didn't call the police he would leave me alone. Then when my son turned 17 months old I got served because he was now filling for custody. He told the judge I wouldn't let him see my son. So I tried to tell the judge all the things he had done he waved me off and said " don't care, people change. He's a changed man now. The past don't matter" and he didn't even make him pay any back child support and decided to give him joint custody! I don't know what to do! His family are drug addicts and alcoholics and welfare rats (absolutely NONE of them work) and are women beaters. HOW CAN HE JUST SAY IT DON'T MATTER!?!?


I have witnesses to him threatening me, shoving me, and trying to hurt my baby ok! But the judge won't listen to me. The particular judge that has my case has connections to his family and I'm assuming that is how he is getting his way with this. I have the best attorney around here and the judge won't listen to him either! I don't know what to do. I even have people willing to testify. I just dont see how someone could carelessly put my sone in that environment!

Update 2:

Ok I know it sounds stupid that I didn't tell, but he threatoned to kill my family! In that situation you don't think with logic. I regret it & I'm beeting myself up for it because its screwing my son over. I know I messed up! But the fact is it IS about my sons well being. He hurt him as an infant! And by the way he did say it don't matter. Infact when he asked me if he ever harmed my son and I said yes, he waved me off and said "It don't matter, he's a changed man. His past don't matter" My atourney can even tell you so. I don't care about me, I care about my baby! And I have NEVER used ANY drug in my life and I have NO record what so ever.

9 Answers

  • trai
    Lv 7
    8 years ago
    Best Answer

    His relationship with you has no bearing on his relationship with his child. (Your attorney probably should have mentioned this, and saved you the trouble of airing your dirty laundry publicly.)

    One is only entitled to support from the time that paternity is established. (It was your choice to not establish it earlier.)

    These rulings have nothing to do with this particular judge. Any judge will tell you the same. That's the law. Parents have an inherent right to their own children, unless/until the state has found them "unfit."

    BTW, you've made a lot of wild accusations that should be easy to prove with things like police and medical reports, which any reasonable person under those circumstances would have. In failing to act reasonably, you have damaged your credibility terribly. Your only hope now is to stop reacting with hysterics, and start using logic. You can do it. Take deep breaths. ;) And, good luck.

    Source(s): I'm a family court appointed special advocate.
  • 8 years ago

    A judge can legally say what they want. We can't really comment because we don't have all the facts. You should have had a lawyer.

    Your biggest problem is that you never reported anything to anyone. So it's your word against his word. Unless you have witnesses, the judge has no real proof of what happened.

    Just start reporting anything and everything he does.

  • 8 years ago

    cause he file first it sounds like a lie for him not to get custody

    no juge will give full custody inless you have a record of drug use

    it will be joint also you may have to file charges with the police to be use in a court of law or what you say can't be use p.s. he will fight it saying hear say

    best bet he touches you again take photo's of mark's p.s. if he beater be alone with him don't start it u will win

  • Because that's the law. Listen, you're going to need a good attorney and some solid proof of everything you just said. If you can prove what his family is like, and that he's like that, then you take him to court.

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    he didn't allow your witnesses because they have zero credibility. you didn't report any of this to the police. you have no police reports, you have no cps reports, you have ZERO evidence of your claims. now maybe everything you claim is true and maybe it ain't. you will have to start from today to build a case on the matter in order to prove that your son (not you) are in danger. you see hysterical women have been known to lie about men abusing them to try to gain sympathy and power over their situation so you need CONCRETE proof.

  • Knowing the court system, it is far more likely that you manipulated witnesses into testifying to that. These claims are a dime a dozen.

    Source(s): ♂♀
  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    I seriously doubt the judge said "it don't matter." The judge seems to not believe you. Unless you have proof, you don't have a case.

  • John G
    Lv 5
    8 years ago

    Reading the title alone shows me that this story has two sides and your side is a little mis-combobulated.

    You could call CPS if you think your child is in harm. If found not to be the case you could end up getting in trouble.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    yes its legal.

    what do you think is illegal about it?

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