poetry advice/ criticism!!?
made a poem wanted some advice and criticism on it.
was once a thought
deeply desired, highly sought
a dreams the only battle worth fought"
i know its short but its the first poem I've wrote : ) just wanting some criticism
- ReyvrexLv 69 years agoFavorite Answer
The first three lines are superb, very good. It is the last line that did not go well. Maybe, we should rearrange the words.
"a dream is the only worthy battle I fought."
Is this what you wanted to say?
- Anonymous4 years ago
very stable and argumentive. in effortless terms one element isn't hell forever torment...burning in flame? So, it would be extra advantageous to stay relatively then spending something of eternity burning in hearth and grim stone.
- RoadtakenLv 59 years ago
the last line doesn't work. you try too hard to get the rhyme.
- Anonymous9 years ago
its pretty good for a first poem :)