Natty asked in Social SciencePsychology · 9 years ago

Why do I keep dreaming this?

(SHORT VERSION) My ex bf died 4 years ago. I was with him a long time and he was my first love. It wasn't a perfect relationship where as i was making little silly childish mistakes he was making massive ones. One that even got him banged up. It effected both sides of the family. We all worked through it and after much thinking, i gave him another chance... Only for him to discover he had cancer 18months later. It was advanced and spread quickly. I nursed him around the clock and stayed with him in the hospice. He only battled a short 3 months. It took him very quickly.

11months later i met my now bf of 3 years. We settled down to quick and had a baby to quick. I dont regret our son ONE BIT!! but things moved very fast for me. I did tell my bf that i wanted things to slow down and that I'm not ready for a quite so serious relationship but he pushed and pushed and eventually gave me a ultimatum. Basically bf or not. I choose bf. Oh I'm 25 years old btw.

Now my problem is that i keep dreaming that my ex boyfriend comes back, not from the dead but like from a long long trip or something, i am mad at first and slightly worried... but then im soooooo HAPPY! I just want to spent every waking hour with him, and the lust i feel for him is huge too. Just as it was when he was alive. We plan all these things and I'm so happy and excited by this part of my dream. I feel GREAT! but then i remember my now bf, and my heart is wrenched with guilt in telling him. The two bfs never meet, although i know that in the dream they want too. Then after a lot of talking and lustful looks etc etc I ALWAYS choose my now partner. I never leave with my ex.

OR my now boyfriend ends up turning into my ex. That barely happens. Its mainly that i choose my new bf over the ex. My head is in bits. Esp after i had this dream about a hour ago. He died 4 years ago.

I cant get away from this guy. I'm even in counselling because of the whole thing.

Am I still in love with my dead ex bf??? :-/

Update:

I want you all as best vote! All of you gave me brilliant answers. I cant choose. so i going to let yahoo decide. You are all best as im concerned. Thank you all. x

3 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    It basically just means you still love your ex alot, and you miss him. Part of you still wishes to be with him probably, and as for him turning into your current bf, it may mean that you see a part of your ex in your current boyfriend. Keep in mind that dreams can have many different meanings, or they can simply mean nothing at all. But as you said you keep having this dream, its probably your sub concious telling you something. However, it will take YOU doing some deep thinking and soul searching to find the true meaning. Other people can only guess based on what we know from psychology. But everyone knows the brain is far to complex to ever fully understand. So next time you dream this, when you wake up, write down everything you saw in the dream, how you felt emotionally during different parts, and do this every time you dream this until you have fit together every part of the puzzle.

    Source(s): Psychology Student
  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    you can't get over him, he's in you. but you are clever and insightful to know that the choice has to be your current bf. and no, you aren't in love with your dead ex bf because in a way you are oppositely, projecting your love towards your current boyfriend to your dead ex bf. you loved you ex, and now that you are encountered with the feeling of love again with your current boyfriend (i hope you do love your current bf), your mind is mixing the two people together since they both give you the same feeling, love.

  • 9 years ago

    Like you said, he was your first love. You're always going to be in love with him. But it sounds like you're almost feeling guilty for having a new love in your life.

    Don't feel guilty.

    You can't be hung up on your ex bf all your life, of course you will always love him and think of him but you can never be with him again. Maybe you're missing him more than usual so you can't stop dreaming of him? Visit his grave/tombstone and talk to him, tell him that you're having these dreams and that you'll always love him but you have to move on. :) xxx

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