What do you think of this story?
There’s supposed to be the feeling of a fresh start, a renewal that comes with the start of a year. I don’t feel it. It feels like the very tail end of November and all of December always did, the same emptiness holds it’s place in my chest. When I feel it, it becomes all the worse. A physical sensation in the pit of my stomach letting me know that though this is supposed to be a new beginning it’s going to keep dragging on with that bitter ending. I guess I do wallow and mourn longer than necessary. I do hold grudges and I have trouble letting go. I was fully out there, gushing, right in front of you. I told how much you meant to me, and you returned the favor. Not how I expected you too. I gave you my heart, smiling, ready to be loved. Finally comfortable after a long journey through loneliness, it had settled down. You charmed it with your witty puns and content presence then proceeded to butt it out of your seemingly flawless life without warning. Tumbling, tripping, slipping, swirling, and perhaps a bit of twirling it got quite battered and bruised. Without knowing what else to do it collapsed into a pit of despair and regret. Now blind to anything but grey, it peered out looking for you. It could not see you though you were right there for you were laughing in color with your newly found lover and old forgotten friends. I yearn for those warm, happy months back. The times when I could call you up and hear your smiling voice at the end of the line, when I could hear your dancing words bounce off my ear drums and play out through the room. The times when I felt something besides melancholy.
- 9 years agoFavorite Answer
I love it. It's very descriptive and realistic. I like your word use — particularly the tumbling, tripping, etc. part — and I like that you used a lot of adjectives. I'd say it's definitely worth reading so far.
- Anonymous9 years ago
- LemonZestLv 79 years ago
I love it, it's so descriptive and rather realistic. One thing though, at the beginning the person talks directly to the audience but then they suddenly switch to talking to someone in particular. Apart from that it's great.