I used to be the same as this all the while I was growing up. I am now 18, and my self esteem and confidence has improved so much! It is really important not to get angry with yourself for not turning into a really confident person overnight - because to be confident, you have to accept yourself the way you are (which means accepting that you are not really confident at the moment!)
There has been some resources I found on my own accord, that have really helped me. This includes:
-Mindfulness meditation - helps you to become aware of the present moment and accept it e.g. if you were in a social situation and getting panicky, then it would help you to be aware of this but ACCEPT it, rather than start panicking about the fact that you are panicking!
-Thought challenging: this is recommended by actual therapists (doesn't mean you're crazy though don't worry!) its about realising when you are having a thought that is negative (e.g. he/she doesn't like me) and challenging it (what evidence do I have for this thought?)
- Susan Jeffers - a really well known self help author, her books, especially 'Feel the fear and do it anyway' really helped me see things in a more positive, confident light and it has great reviews! It teaches you that fear is not a sign to back down, but a sign to move forward and conquer it! I still practice daily affirmations (daily positive thinking) because it really helped alter my perspective for the better - details on all of it is included in the book!
Just understand that building self confidence is a personal, and sometimes lengthy, journey. But you can get there! And also remember that a little shyness is NORMAL - don't strive to be shyness free or something. Everyone feels fear and lacks confidence sometimes - its just that some people let it stop them, and some don't.
I have included links to some of the resources I mentioned that helped me. Have a look, and good luck! :D
A really great book on Mindfulness (the CD really helped me!): http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-Dummies-Book-Shamash-Alidina/dp/0470660864/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1325171635&sr=1-1
Thought challenging: http://www.get.gg/cbtstep5.htm
Feel the fear and do it anyway: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Feel-Fear-Anyway-Anniversary-Indecision/dp/0091907071/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1325171618&sr=8-1
· 8 years ago