What do you Think of my Prologue?

Its to my short story comic book in English Class:

A winter night, it’s a dark gloomy setting in the city that has very little light to start with. The air is moist, from the cold inner city harbor, a tourist attraction by day killer by night, 30 miles off there is a small town boarding this harsh city, Stark Town. In this town walks a young man coming from working a 14 hour shift at a fast food restaurant. Tried and alone he walks past unlit homes with nothing more than Halloween décor to keep him company. The streets empty, occupied only by brown and orange leaves and rainy roads. He stares up at the moon with a look of despair. “My only friend,” mumbles the loner. He walks with no real destination, just somewhere for him to rest for a little, but not a home. He arrives at a house walks towards a gate that opens to a backyard filled with shadows from the moonlight. Down a few steps he unlocks the door and lies on an old mattress on the floor, dropping like a rock from a cliff. News reports from an old T.V. up stairs are the only noises to be heard. He rests……for now…..for a little.

“BERP” “BERP” He wakes in the cold and dark basement. Half asleep he replaces his frigid and wet clothes, puts on his black thick under riding pants that reach his small waist, and slips on his golden colored boots that reach his knees. He wears his golden, cold weather athletic shirt with long black sleeves covering his lean torso. He grabs his long golden gloves that end at the tip of his elbows. He attaches his sliver belt to his waist; finally he reaches for a blank and bland gold mask with only one feature that illuminates his way, white soul piercing eyes. He covers his face, locks the door, and heads into the young night. The lonely moon glares and prays that his only friend, come back.

Any constructive criticism would be appreciated

1 Answer

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  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    It doesn't really fill the function of a prologue.It doesn't explain anything and it introduces nothing.

    It is filled with redundancies, and I found it really boring to read.

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