I got too much on my plate help i feel like im drownin plz dont judge just give me advice. i truly need it.?

Well I'm an only child 4 one. I was very sheltered and beyond over protected. My mom altho was trying to do what was right in her mind. Screwed me up badly. My parents hated each other. Dad was usaf so he was gone most of my childhood. My mom didn't think I was normal so everything she worried about she got... show more Well I'm an only child 4 one. I was very sheltered and beyond over protected. My mom altho was trying to do what was right in her mind. Screwed me up badly. My parents hated each other. Dad was usaf so he was gone most of my childhood. My mom didn't think I was normal so everything she worried about she got me shrinked and listened to the quacks call me this tell her I need that. So I grew w/o many friends. Kinda of a loner. Very sad. Bored w my life. I got older married @ 19 to get away from her. That didn't workout he was more like a friend than hubby. Then I fell hard for this older guy who very abusive verbally/emotionally very controlling and scary. I did tho get prego by him and he's never been apart of my sons life cuz he is loser. I was single for a little over a year. Family hated that I was like all mom and nothing else. So they fixed me up w what turned out to be a lunatic. My partents got divorced my dad got remarried to his mistress of two yrs within months. I fell hard for my bff of five yrs. He and I got married last year but he ended up changing majorly and treated me like dog ****. And cheated on me for his ex gf and he tried to break my hand in front of my son. So yeah oh and that's nothing he was all sex all the time and he wanted a 1950s wife he told after 10 months of marriage. 6th month found out from a bank the was 10 thousand in the hole of child support and 9 in federal taxes 6 in state and god knows in local. He's an alcoholic and a real prick. He mistreated my son lots too. Mind u my son is 3 and he got called an ahole by my ex. So this summer I also got in my first accident. There was with the local police lots of miscommunication about important info and somehow it got a lil ugly. Got that straightened. So I ended up fall for my bff and he's a black man well found the hard way that my family's prejudiced. I got prego again. Well I was vulnerable and highly depressed about everything happening my family FYI are mean bullies and the bullied and bullied me til I practically got forced to make a bad decision that turned worse and I'm ok now but it was 4 mos of hell and I was really sick. I had a botched surgery. Sigh. I'm in therapy for all of that cuz now I'm so angry and deeply hurt. But it gets worse. So son has RAD and gets so sick he almost died when he was a baby cuz he couldn't breath. So yeah. So my mom behind my back files for custody of him. I'm got legal aiid and everything. And I'm not unfit just I'm struggling finding work nobody seems to be hiring. But so supposedly for him to medical insurance my mom wanted custody til I get on my feet. I stupidly agreed after a month of fighting w her. Judge told me that it was very noble to just think about my sons well being versus my feelings. I know have seen my mom lied she was sneaking and did it cuz she hates my bf. And the fact she can't control me anymore. My gma is in on it too. She does her stuff. My dad too and step mom. So really all I have is my son when they allow me to see him and my bf. I'm so depressed and angry and feeling a million emotions. I need advice. I'm struggling all this family bs drama and finding out my parents and gma only love cuz they said they have too not cuz they are like "family"all unconditional and thicker than water. Nah mine feed me to the wolves, throw me under the bus. They disrespect me hurt me verbally and play games over and over and my son is the pawn and the only way I can get him back is a job which I've been trying for 4 mos and nothing. Ugh. All this stress is eating me up. Help! Having the worse year of my life.
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