Anonymous

Sex, regrets, and relationship drama.?

I'll warn everyone in advance...this question will probably be lengthy, as I need to explain the problem.

Basically, I had sex with my boyfriend of a month. Yeah, I know. Pathetic right? No need to tell me, I feel like an easy whore already. I was in no hurry to have sex with him, but he was a virgin and really wanted to have sex with someone he cares about. And I know he cares about me...he's the sweetest person I've ever met. The reason our relationship moved so quickly was because we've spent nearly every day together since we started hanging out and there's always been an obvious connection. We like the same things, have goals that coincide, etc...basically, we both knew we wanted a long term relationship and this is something that could definitely last awhile. Back to the point....the first time we had sex, it lasted barely 30 seconds. (It was only sex because he penetrated me) I swore to myself it wouldn't happen again...I felt so guilty and worthless. I was also convinced he'd dump me, since so many guys are douchey in that way. We ended up having sex last night, because I wanted to make him happy. I know I shouldn't have - I realize this now. But I can't get this all off my mind...I feel like such a nasty, dirty, easy girl. And that part is most likely true, I agree. I am a huge people pleaser and it makes me look terrible...=/ I feel like our whole future together is ruined because we did something that's supposed to be special SO early in the relationship. And I don't want to feel compelled to keep doing this, because I feel so guilty about doing it. Are him and I screwed for doing this?? I care about this guy so much and I'd hate for him to get bored of me or for our relationship to be ruined for having sex. I should have thought of this all two years ago when I lost my v-card. What should I do, how should I control these feelings, and like mentioned before...are we doomed?! Please don't judge me, call me a whore, etc. I realize this, lol. I'm not even 18 and I've had sex with two people...but go ahead, it'd amuse me a bit...

Update:

I have also been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, and this could POTENTIALLY be a factor in why I'm easily persuaded/taken advantage of and why I feel so horribly about this. I'm not trying to make excuses at all, just adding to this. :]

4 Answers

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  • 9 years ago
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    i think you should wait till the right time to have sex. Usually after your married because it is special and people just treat it like its eating or watchinng tv for them. Its not and if you treat it that way you'll eventually end up crushing your very soul and the heart of the relationship. Our bodies are merely vessels for our soul and if people who think relationships are about the physical(the majority of people) will always be doomed to unhappy lives because they concentrate so much on physical pleasure instead of what makes a relationship work which is spiritual.

    When sex isn't enough for them after they've tried everything they start moving onto other people or more and more perverted acts until their hearts grow dark and they start questioning where it all went wrong because they no longer feel the initial happy feeling they had like a child when they first met.

    The physical will never replace the emotional and spirtual in a relationship. Thats what makes relationships last. Trust and when you have no trust i.e waiting for someone you have no relationship.

    Source(s): personal experience
  • 9 years ago

    Well teens have sex all the time it is a known fact, it does not make you a whore. If you two care for each other and possibly may in the future get married there will be plenty of sex. Why not get the situation settled and make sure you are good sex partners before marriage, because if not it may be a deal breaker.

    Since I assume you two are a couple there is nothing wrong with sex just use protection and you will be ok. I hope both of you are underage if he is 18 and you get pregnant and have a kid the hospital or your parents can and most likely will report him for statutory rape and there is nothing you can do or say about it, and he will go to jail.

    We are sexual beings and there is nothing wrong with expressing it as far as I see it just use your brain about it and it will ok.

  • 9 years ago

    Dont feel guity things happen. If anything life goes on. There's something inside of you that needs to say i don't need to give sex to make someone happy. Making someone happy doesn't mean letting them persuade you in to doing anything. Now if you say he cares about you the way explained then he wouldn't think the relationship is doomed. But you don't want the relationship to be based only on sex, because then its just based on sex and nothing more. Develope more of a emotional relationship with your bf and then see how it goes after maybe a year.

  • 9 years ago

    ... I had sex with my boyfriend the day we started going out (like you I'd hung out with him a lot before we started going out).

    We've been together for over a year and a half now, we love each other and we're talking about moving in together.

    We're 22. I've had sex with four guys. (And had had sex with two guys when I was 18, I loved them both dearly, still care about them both, not in that way any more obviously.)

    So my answer is... stop beating yourself up!

    It sounds like you've been told that sex is something that you should save for marriage or is something you should be ashamed of having, don't let yourself be bullied into thinking what you're doing is wrong when you're hurting no one! Sex is special, of course it is, but by the sounds of it you think he is special too, so you're not going to make the sex any more special by not having it!

    The problem more seems to be is that you're doing it for his sake, not because YOU want it. Start thinking about yourself more! You obviously realise that this is necessary as you call yourself a people pleaser. Make sure that he pleases you as well as you pleasing him.

    You are not 'nasty', 'dirty' or 'easy', you obviously really like this boy and want to make him happy, that is in no way a bad thing! Just make sure you're not doing something you don't want to do!

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