meifi
Lv 5
meifi asked in HealthMental Health · 9 years ago

Is it wrong to want to be estranged from my parents?

I have never gotten along with my parents .. at all. I'm currently in High School getting straight A's and after I go off to college I do not want to speak to my parents again, or at least have the average parent - daughter relationship people usually have. Before you judge just hear me out. I grew up living in the projects in a tiny apartment with my sister and parents. My parents were never good with money because all they spent it on was alcohol. Both my mom and dad are alcoholics; In fact they are drunk right now! Pathetic. I just can't take it anymore! They have always been mean to me growing up. When I was younger my parents abused me physically and mentally. Physically with a belt (although there have been times my mom or dad threw plates at me, or punched me) and mentally by calling me a fat*ss (even though I'm underweight) or stupid. They just called me stupid because growing up I was never good with school. Now I'm on the honor roll and everything but when I was younger I had problems with school. My parents were especially mean to my sister .. my dad hated her and he even said it on multiple occasions. All of my beatings and verbal abuse was twice as worse when they did it to my sister. My mom also faced abuse from my dad because even he hit her a few times growing up, he even cheated on her but she forgave him for everything.. It just makes me so sad to see this happening and I just want to get away from it all. I swear this is not just me being a bratty teenager I'm serious. My parents are mean, they are racist (my dad called some guy a n*gger once) and the way they treat me and my sister sickens me. Before you say something like "oh yeah but they bought you clothes and food" that is NOT true at all. I, right now work two jobs. I buy me and my sister clothes and food and when I don't, my aunt does. My aunt knows whats going on but she doesn't bring it up. In general I am tired of being mistreated. Once I get out of school I do not want to have any sort of a relationship with them, I just want to get away from it all. I do not want to be like them.

1 Answer

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  • jmw
    Lv 4
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Emily, I don't think it's wrong at all. Your family sounds absolutely *awful* and if I were you, I would feel the same exact way. The way your parents treat you is *terrible*. In fact, it's downright abusive. No one deserves to be treated that way, especially when it's a parent doing it to their own child!

    I'm assuming that you mean once you're done with high school you want to get away. Are your parents beyond talking to or reasoning with? Would they be open to going to family counseling? Can you talk to them at all about their behavior? I'm only asking because I don't want to tell you to leave and never look back without exploring all of your options. But, if you feel they are beyond help, then I think leaving and going to school out of state (if you plan on going to college) or moving far away is a good idea.

    I came from an abusive home, so I know where you're coming from. I kept in close contact with my mom for a long time, but recently (within the last year) I decided to go "low contact" with her and I have to tell you: I'm happier now that I don't talk to her as much anymore. I talk to her maybe once or twice a month and only meet up with her (in a public place, *not* at her home) *maybe* once a month. I'm not as anxious as I used to be. I feel more at peace, more confident in myself and just generally more happy. Life is a lot nicer when there aren't people there abusing you.

    And if anyone does say, "But they bought you food, kept a roof over your head"--who cares?! That doesn't give them the right to freakin' abuse you. I hate that argument, it's stupid and illogical.

    I'm really sorry for everything you've been through and continue to put up with. You sound like a strong, intelligent girl. Just keep your head on, stay strong, you'll get through this. And you won't be like them. That's one good thing from all of this: it's taught you to be a better human being. If you need to talk, you can contact via my Yahoo Answers profile. Good luck, Emily!

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